mangled diagnoses

sunnygirl272 · Oct 9, 2002

also stolen from: http://personalwebs.myriad.net/Kimball/glossary.htm

RN: Do you take any medications? PT: Yes, I take a heart pill and a blood thinner. RN: So you have a heart condition? PT: Yes, I have a 'spacemaker'.

A resident went to examine a pediatric pt in the ER whose first name was KRIC. He asked the mother what was wrong with the pt, he pronounced the name "Crick", mom corrected him and said "It's pronounced 'Eric'". The resident responded "Well K-R-I-C would spell "Crick". Mom explained to him that her sister had told her you could spell Eric with a 'K'.

A 62y/o man was brought to the ER with a cucumber in his rectum. The man emphatically denied he knew how it got there. After it was removed, the wife (who was trusting but obviously doubted her husbands ignorance) asked the surgeon how it got there. The surgeon replied, "Well ma'am, your husband needs to chew his food better."

After removing a battery powered vibrator from the rectum of a 55y/o man, the surgeon told him that if he used one that plugged into the wall, he might not have this problem.

While working with a 3 y/o girl with febrile seizures, one Christmas Eve. The mom, who was understandably distraught, asked frantically (with a heavy southern accent), "But doctor, why is she seizin' why is she seizin'?!? As I looked up at the nurse that was helping me, I noticed her Xmas button that read "Jesus is the reason for the Season". I kept my mouth shut.

Mattigan, RN · Oct 9, 2002

I asked this mom once if her son was on any asthma medications and she said " No, he has a chihuhua". I finally had to have her explain it to me and she said' Ya know, it dreens the asthma outta his lungs". I have been told that by others since but I don't ask for an explanation anymore. I just write it down.

frankie · Oct 10, 2002

:chuckle :chuckle

what about "Smilin Mighty Jesus" or "Roaches of the Liver"?

These were two I remember from the med school list at Charity Hospital in New Orleans. frankie

Cubby · Oct 13, 2002

Originally posted by flowerchild
Don't forget about "Old Timers"!

Unfortunatlly alot of people who should know better refer to Alzheimers as "old timers" or "alttimers" Oh well you got to laugh or go crazy!