Lawyer Joke Thread

Nurses Humor

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I'd like to collect as many lawyer jokes as I can (I love these). So, post your favorite lawyer joke here. I'll start:

What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?

He gets taller!

KM

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.
Originally posted by gwenith

Okay she says cracking her knuckles - now it is MY turn!:D

Beat this one - a medical/lawyer joke!!

Four surgeons were arguing about the best patients to operate on and the first surgeon said -

"I like teachers - open them up and everything is in alphabetical order"

The second surgeon said-

"No no! Accountants are easier - open them up and everything is in numerical order"

The third surgeon said -

"No! Electricians are the best - open them up and everything is color coded"

The fourth surgeon piped up-

"You are all wrong - Lawyers are the best - open them up and they have no spine, no guts and no heart and their backsides and their heads are interchangeable!!"

:roll Gwenith, I loved this one ...

Leigh

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Some second graders are in class one day, when the teacher tells the class she wants each child to tell the class what their fathers do for a living.

She gets the usual run of answers, "my daddy is a doctor," "my daddy is an electrician," etc. Throughout the exercise, little Johnny sits in the back quietly, with his head down.

Finally, it is Johnny's turn. He stands, with his head fixed on his shoes and mumbles "My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men. If they pay him enough, he goes out to the ally to have sex with other men."

The teacher is horrified, and quickly gets the other kids involved in another project, and calls Johnny out of the room. In the hallway, the teacher asks Johnny "Was all that about your father really true?"

"No," says Johnny. "I just was too embarrassed to tell everyone that my dad's a lawyer."

KM

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Specializes in IMCU/Telemetry.

A lawyer is in an elevator when the Devil appears to him. The devil says " I will make you the most successful lawyer in the world , but you have to give me your soul, your wife's soul and your children's souls."

The lawyer looked the Devil in the eye and said " So what's the catch."

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Murphy, a lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder that had been brought by the state. The jury was out for several days before they returned with the manslaughter verdict.

When Murphy paid the corrupt juror, he asked him if he had had a very difficult time convincing the other jurors to see things his way.

"Sure did," the juror replied. "The other eleven wanted to acquit."

:roll :roll :roll :roll

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