If God had Voice Mail

  1. Thank you for calling heaven.

    I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

    If you would like to speak to:
    God, press 1.
    Jesus, press 2.
    The Holy Spirit, press 3.
    If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, press 4.

    To find a loved one who has been assigned to Heaven, press 5, then enter his or her social security number followed by the pound sign. (If you get a negative response, please hang up and try area code 666.)

    For reservations in heaven, please enter J-O-H-N 3:16

    For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive.

    If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   macspuds
    I like a little humor in this business. This one is very cute and actually quite imaginative.
    Thanks for sharing.
    Macspuds
  4. by   blessed02
    :Melody: Very creative and funny too :chuckle :chuckle
  5. by   sayward
    Nice. So what happens if you press zero ??
  6. by   live4today
    too funny!

    thank god he is real, and not into playing headgames with us.

    ........when we press "o"........the operator answers saying "this is the operator. you wouldn't be calling me if you truly believed that god is everywhere and hears everything. all you have to do when you need him is to simply say his name and tell him what you want. there's no waiting line to god! he is always with you, and he is always right on time."
  7. by   Compton
    :: 4 :: I want to hear King David sing a Psalm.
  8. by   lindymarie
    Quote from cheerfuldoer
    too funny!

    thank god he is real, and not into playing headgames with us.

    ........when we press "o"........the operator answers saying "this is the operator. you wouldn't be calling me if you truly believed that god is everywhere and hears everything. all you have to do when you need him is to simply say his name and tell him what you want. there's no waiting line to god! he is always with you, and he is always right on time."


    amen amen amen

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