Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories - page 8

I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine: climbing into other residents' beds and taking a time we found the resident... Read More

  1. by   NancyPie
    OK, not an Alzheimer's patient... well it is one of his diagnoses but I really don't notice it in him at all. He's HOH even WITH his hearing aides & he had them out. I asked him if he needed help opening his banana. He acted like he hadn't heard me so I picked it up and pointed to the top and repeated myself even louder. He replied "You're single ain't you?" I looked at him confused & said "Do you want me to open this for you?" He replied "I can tell because of the way you picked that thing up, if you was married you would have grabbed it like this" , and grabbed it with his whole hand. I had picked it up with two fingers and a thumb. I began to blush, he said "Gotchya. I can do it myself" I said "good night" and left the room (it was about 9pm, I had been in his room giving HS meds). Upon leaving the room one of the CNAs saw me and asked if I was ok, I started to tell the story and she laughed and said "Yeah he's pulled that one on me a few times" She is most definitely NOT single, she's married with teenage kids! LOL. I don't know whether or not he knows it.
  2. by   kkostelnikPN
    Quote from Misslady113
    Once.. I gave a resident her healthshake. She lookd at the box and it said "shake well". She looked at it curiously and said to me,"well it must not be working. Its not shaking at all."

    Had another resident who claimed their was a young white boy in his room from his I went along with it and continued cleaning him. When I went to clean his rear he jumped and shouted at me,"He's there,he's there!" I said ,"Where?!!" He's says, "In my BUTT!!!"

    One resident used to curse Obama every night. Saying he did nothing for her and her family. She used to yell through the nusing home about how much she hated him. I went into her room to tel her to quiet down a bit. She looks at me,threw her leg into the air, opened her crotch explicitly with both hands and said, " Go on *****, go the **** on *****," in her southern accent. I took that as she wanted me to leave and kindly exited the
    I'm literally loling. This is too funny. Especially the last part.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Jan 21, '13
  3. by   Poochiewoochie
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    I just love those alzheimers patients.
    Yeah, so do I since my Mom has Alzheimers. These are your patients but it's a lot different if your loved one suffers from the disease. My laughter when she does these strange things is because if I didn't I would be spending my time crying.
  4. by   kkostelnikPN
    I used to work on the Alzheimer's unit at a LTC facility and one lady everyday never wanted to be toileted she would always tell me she's not a baby and can do it herself ( which she was unable, she could walk and go to the bathroom but never changed her dirty brief) so usually the always had "sharts" in her brief lol So I told her: Me: we need to change your undies there dirty LOL: no there not I'm not a baby go away Me: no look they have poop on them. You see it LOL: well I do now these aren't my underwear and you put that there Needless to say she was hilarious. We did this every single day... Another resident once told me LOl: get me my purse over there. That's my purse ( points to a dining room chair) Me: that's a chair ma'am That can't be your purse LOL: well I have a purse that looks just like that! She was adorable. We taught her to do the sprinkler
  5. by   starwood85
    I was still on work experience in aged care and we had a resident who would not allow a man to shower her (I'm a woman with short hair ) so I went in there and she said you can't shower me, you're a man, I said no I'mNot I'm a woman, she said no you're a man, I said look I gave boobs I'm a woman,she said well you gave a mans face, so I said I'm a woman, I have kids! She said, well, you could be their father!!! Lol
  6. by   marycarney
    We had floor-to-ceiling windows that faced the state highway on our gero-psych unit (HUGE architectural mistake- but I'm getting ahead of myself). ANYWAY - local company donated a gigantic artificial Christmas tree which took up the whole window. It was really pretty.
    Started getting calls one night about a 'woman in the window'. Yep, a patient was buck nekkid, smashed between the tree and the window entertaining the passers-by.
  7. by   ktwlpn
    [QUOTE=Poochiewoochie;7129504]Yeah, so do I since my Mom has Alzheimers. These are your patients but it's a lot different if your loved one suffers from the disease. My laughter when she does these strange things is because if I didn't I would be spending my time crying.[/QUOTE)
    I don't know of any other way you could cope--I'm sending a hug your way. A dear friend of mine lost her mom to the disease-she said it was like 15 year wake.
  8. by   s0ad
    Was bending over the patient to do something so my face was pretty close to the patient's, and he said, "You look like Adolf Hitler from here" I'm a 23 year old Italian female, so don't think I do, but joked to my coworkers that I must have let my lip fuzz get a little out of control. :P This is one of the only things I heard this man say...
  9. by   blackvans1234
    This story is not mine, but a friend told it to me, My friend is Alejandro, he has a deep voice.

    He works on a medsurg floor at the hospital down the road. Alejandro is a little bit crazy, as is the unit he works on.
    He had a demented patient who kept ringing the call bell. Alejandro used the phone to answer it and asked, "Hello, what do you need?"
    The confused patient replied, "Jesus is that you?" To this, alejandro replied "Yes it's me, now go to sleep"
  10. by   blackvans1234
    This one is from me,

    I had a patient who would get confused at night. She was an older black woman with a very softspoken voice
    One night she rang her callbell, I entered the room and she is staring straight ahead. She says (very softly), "Where am I, what time is it? (Then looks straight at me and yells) , "AND WHO THE DICKENS ARE YOU!"

    Me, "Im Dickens!"
  11. by   RN_BSN09
    I have some funny stories from when I used to work on telemetry:

    I had one pt who needed assistance to the BSC because he was unsteady. He was too embarrassed and wanted the CNA and me to turn around and not look. We told him we had to make sure he didn't fall. When he finished having a BM we handed him a washcloth to wipe. After he wiped, he wasn't sure what to do with it, and before we could get it he threw it across the room to make the trash can... the poop rag went right by my face, and missed the trash can.

    A dementia pt of mine had an NG tube and CVC, so the Dr. ordered 4 point restraints and mitts. I continually checked on him and had to refasten his restraints to make sure he didn't pull any tubes out. I had just re-adjusted everything, left the room to attend to another patient, and when I came back shortly, the NG tube was out and the feeding was dripping onto the sheets... I couldn't figure out at first how this happened... He had managed to scoot down in bed (to give the wrist restraints more slack), and then used his knees to pull off his mittens, then pulled out the NG tube. Thank goodness he didn't touch the CVC!!

    My co-worker had a pt with a high K+ level, so the doctor ordered Kayexelate. The patient had diarrhea already, and had a Bard Bag in place for that. My coworker walked into the pts room, and the patient started to stand up. She said "Noooo stop! Sit back down" but it was too late. The Bard Bag became separated from the tube... So basically the patient had a tube hanging from her anus... the patient started turning around fast to see what was behind her, and the tube basically acted like a diarrhea sprinkler and poo splattered all around the room.

    I have many more!
  12. by   al7139
    On my first job on a tele unit, I had a 90ish LOL who asked me to scratch her vagina for her...I had no Idea what to say...
  13. by   kathynurse46
    I had pt with g-tube who somnvitedo iut whe how got off unit glad i wasnt working that day !!!!! but invited some of the other residence to bar when staff showed up they were all drunk pt on bar waving her depends