Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 4

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   angelettesx2
    Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....


    Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....
  2. by   OldBabeRN
    When I was active duty in the USAF (many moons ago) we all pulled a rotation in the ER. We got the usual real injuries and the usual whackos....but on one chart or one of the whacko visits the MOD (medical officer of the day) was so frustrated with the numerous visits that he carved the shape of a turkey in the erasor tip of a pencil and stamped the man's chart with it (in the corner) after he did his usual discharge note. We all laughed but wondered if he would get in trouble for doing that. I don't think he ever did.
  3. by   KARRN3
    CARDIAC SURGEON CALLED DURING ONE WILD FULL MOON, PATIENTS SCREAMING, TUBES BEING PULLED OUT-ATIVAN I MG PO/IV/IM TO WHOOEVER NEEDS IT UNTIL THEY QUIET DOWN.
  4. by   RENTANURSE
    I just started corrections nursing No other nursing like it in the world!!!
    Anyway, one genius (not) told me the Psychiatrist prescribed "Anthrax" for his nervious condition. When I explained the difference he paled and asked VERY seriously if the doc could have really made a mistake and given him the wrong rx.
    YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!!!!!
  5. by   nightmoves
    About twenty years ago I was on night shift on an orthopedic unit in a university-affiliated hospital. The marginally legible physician handwriting on this particular service was legendary; to this day I can't satisfactorily answer the question as to why one would allow a person who can't write access to sharp instruments!

    In any case, we had to review the day's orders on each patient's chart to determine whether they had been enacted. Imagine my shock to discover the order "Amputate between ears."

    When the service rounded in the morning I approached the house officer in question to ask him to clarify the order. He turned a lovely shade of scarlet and muttered, "Ambulate between bars!"
  6. by   Whisper
    We had a patient transfer to the ward, and the SHO had written the various details about the patient, and on a post-it note on the front he had wrote:
    "PT'S SO -->proctalgia."
    The note is now framed above the nurses station!! We all appreciated the warning
  7. by   Katmanduuu
    I swear to God that I have a file of "Stupid Orders" I've collected over the years but my all time favorite is....

    "Patient is a full code unless there is no hope."

    It was written by a Resident and I had a very long talk with him after he wrote it. I suggested that he not use the EMT parameters of "decapitation or decomposition" for determining if there was no hope!!

    Another order, obviously written by a very tired Doctor, was...

    "Give Tylenol ES 2 tabs PO for temp >200"

    At that point, I don't think that Tylenol is the answer!!
  8. by   deespoohbear
    This is the best laugh I have had in 2 days!! We had a MD write once: Please pull pt up in bed. For crying out loud, just come and get me and tell me the pt needs repositioned!!

    Another favorite "dumb" order I have seen several residents write is: Call physician on call for declining condition, abnormal VS or critical labs.

    This has to be one of my favorite all time threads!!
  9. by   CashewLPN
    Originally posted by Katmanduuu
    I swear to God that I have a file of "Stupid Orders" I've collected over the years but my all time favorite is....

    "Patient is a full code unless there is no hope."

    It was written by a Resident and I had a very long talk with him after he wrote it. I suggested that he not use the EMT parameters of "decapitation or decomposition" for determining if there was no hope!!

    Another order, obviously written by a very tired Doctor, was...

    "Give Tylenol ES 2 tabs PO for temp >200"

    At that point, I don't think that Tylenol is the answer!!
    I think at the temp of 200, one should flip the pt over, and baste liberally

    --Barbara
  10. by   egmorgan
    Mcdonalds Milkshake PRN, a very reasonable order I think
  11. by   Irish Lass
    On inpatient order sheet:

    CTBKLO
    ... of course I had to ask!

    Coffin to bediside, keep lid open
  12. by   mockiern
    betadine douche q hs, with no stop date, and unfortunately this md signed the monthly orders without a d/c to this order, and the staff, had been doing this douche for one year, i took over as rn nurse manager and discovered this order and the fact that of course this woman had lost her normal flora and was left with this horrible smelling green drainage. i arranged transport right to this md's office and made him do a vag culture and let him smell what we dealt with, also told him he better d/c that order, and never trusted his monthly orders again, i found same and similiar mistakes on his just signing his name fast on rounds to the nursing home. not funny but it happened.
  13. by   debyan
    My favorite is the "cleanse wound with NS, apply ABO with dry dressing, change qd til healed????????? where is the wound? I have heard of the molasses enema and the HHH enema , but never the coffee one. deb

close