Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Several nurses who have worked longer than I told me they have seen the following order:

"Tub bath, stat"

Evidently, some of the patients coming in hadn't discovered the joys of personal hygiene........

this wasn't an order but was found on a chest xray report
CONCLUSION:
There is a left lower leg infiltrate with associated pleural fluid.


No wonder she was in so much pain.

I actually had a Dr. write an order to: wash patients clothes!!!

is that not horrible...And I dropped everything to do it right away....NOT!!!

Our hospital was rebuilt less than 10 years ago. They have nice private rooms. One day up on the fifth floor one of our crazy patients unscrewed the panel under the window. Almost sucked him and his nurses out! They now have pretty fabric covered things over the panels. who are these idiots that build these buildings. I could just imagine getting sucked out one day at work! Talk about a damn bad day.

Stat Colace 100mg po and then BID

(different doc)

0305h Bolus 500cc NS (for symptomatic vtach)

0308 Continue NS bolus over 20 min, call if arrythmia continues.

0310 Finish NS bolus and don't call me again until it is done.

0312 Code blue called and pt cardioverted unsuccessfully, transferred to ICU.

This was my first code- as house sup.

I've gotten a bit better, and more assertive over the years.

I THINK I'VE GOT ONE...MAYBE THIS IS A REAL DIAGNOSIS BUT TO MY KNOWLEDGE I DON'T REMEMBER BEING TAUGHT IT IN NURSING SCHOOL.....I WORK IN LTC AND IN A PT'S CHART ONCE I NOTICED THAT A DR HAD WRITTEN THE DX OF "PIDDLITIS" FOR A PT ON DETROL......???? GO FIGURE? HEE.HEE...EVEN IF IT DOES HAPPEN TO BE A REAL DX IT'S A PRETTY FUNNY ONE!

Had pt. that insisted that eating raw potato relieved nausea. Knew that dietary would question request for raw potato, so called dr. and got order for raw potato times one PRN for nausea.

micro

We had an ER Attending who refused to talk to the nurses. I guess we weren't "worthy" of his time. A poor elderly patient was in respiratory distress and on a 100% NRB mask on arrival. While my back was turned to get an IV, the MD placed a post-it note on the mask. When I turned around, the MD was gone. The post-it note read "Prepare to intubate". Needless to say, this MD didn't last very long, Thank Goodness!

Jeanine all I can say to that is "the arrogant so & so"
Some of them seem to forget they are people too.

Well I am just a new graduate and have to funny ones from my student years.

1) When working on the orthopedic ward I came across this that was written under the diagnosis SOSFOLFOFNOF



After tracking down the dr he explained it to be "same old story frail old lady fell over, fractured neck of femar". Quietly I smiled to myself while my preceptor suggested that whilest it was funny maybe not quite appropriate.

2) In the paediatric ward a discharge summary read

Fell from monkey bars at school
FOOSH!

My preceptor laughed honestly thinking the dr was making sound effects, I suggested (in a very non-threatening way, as you do when you are a student) that is could POSSIBLY mean "Fell on out streached hand".

Here was a weird episode with a poor sot 3 sheets to the wind.....


Several years while I was working, this slightly (ok...really trashed) patient comes into my ICU. Now the admission assessment form asks if the patient is an organ donor (not the brightest question to ask a patient on assessment I think, but they put it on the form.....). The poor drunk didn't know what an organ donor was, so I explained to him what organ donation meant, and that it was intended for AFTER death should he wish it. He then replied that he was NOT an organ donor. About an hour or so later, there is all this noise coming from his room.....he was pulling his monitor wires off, IV out, climbing out of bed yelling "PLEASE KILL ME BEFORE YOU CUT MY HEART OUT!!!!!" I swear this actually happened. Well after I finished laughing myself silly, I went and reassured the poor scared to death patient that we were not going to cut his heart out or kill him. Go figure....