English as she is Spoke

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

The following is not meant to make fun of any of our international visitors but simply to laugh at how English can be mistranslated to come up with some of the funniest sayings. I am sure there is a list of mistranslations like these for every language in the world!

English in Non-English Countries

Examples of how English is being used in different

parts of the world:

In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel

towels please. If you are not person to do such

thing is please not to read notis.

In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe

inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being

fixed for the next day. During that time we regret

that you will beunbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift

backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin,

push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should

enter more persons, each one should press a number of

wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by

national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your

values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to

complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11

A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear

with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take

advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a

Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit

the cemetery where famous Russian and Sovietcomposers,

artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to

perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in

the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave

you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own

make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in

the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef

rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience,

we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a

fit upstairs.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit.

Because is big rush we will execute customers in

strict rotation.

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a

Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic

painters and sculptors. These were executed over the

past two years.

In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool

is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have

thrown in the bulk of their workers.

In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost

to alarm the hotel porter.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is

strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site

that people of different sex, for instance, men and

women, live together in one tent unless they are

married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of

entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the

bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for

this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth

extracted by the latest Methodists.

A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A

lot of water has been passed under the bridge since

this variation has been played.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here

and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of

our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no

miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would

you like to ride on your own ass?

In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made

for ladies from their own skin.

On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive

Sideways.

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice

cream.

[nursesrocks]

this is so funny... thanks.

[Danamegg]

They are all funny, but I had to choose a favorite:

In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift

backwards, and only when lit up.

[nursesrocks]

they are probably translating their native languages in verbatim with the english language. hehe...

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

I liked this one

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to

perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in

the boots of ascension.

obviously translated with a dictionary and maybe a thesaurus:)

[Good_Queen_Bess]

LOL!

[Brownms46]

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a

fit upstairs.

I really liked this one!