Not sure I want to do this anymore...

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Hey, everyone.

Just putting this this out here to get some advice or overall perspective from others.

I've been a nurse for 1.5 years and I'm totally miserable. In school, I always knew hospital/bedside nursing was not for me. I have always loved the aesthetic aspect of nursing, just never found a position in my area. Anyway, after graduation and licensing, I looked for a job that was nursing and was not in the hospital. So, I went to work for the schools. (I loved it, but they pay was peanuts and it's just not an option to return to st the moment.) Then I had my son and took a few months off. I decided to return to nursing but decided to give the hospital a try. I've switched to two different units since being back at work and I'm absolutely miserable. I really just don't feel passionate about nursing like I did before working in the hospital.

I'm always exhausted when I'm at work and count down the hours until the shift is over. Then trying to recover each day I'm not at work? It's taking a toll on my relationship ship with my husband, my son, and my family. It's also taking a major toll on my health. I've had the same "cold" for 5 months and I'm having recurrent panic attacks when I think about going back to work. I knew being a nurse was tough, but I didn't expect it to (what feels like) wreck my life like this.

I'm finishing up my BSN this summer because I though it was the next thing to do, but I'm so afraid I'm not going to be able to do anything other than bedside nursing with that degree. I want a job where I'm not working crazy hours and where I'm not going absolutely insane. What else can I do??

Ruby Vee, BSN

17 Articles; 14,030 Posts

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Hey, everyone.

Just putting this this out here to get some advice or overall perspective from others.

I've been a nurse for 1.5 years and I'm totally miserable. In school, I always knew hospital/bedside nursing was not for me. I have always loved the aesthetic aspect of nursing, just never found a position in my area. Anyway, after graduation and licensing, I looked for a job that was nursing and was not in the hospital. So, I went to work for the schools. (I loved it, but they pay was peanuts and it's just not an option to return to st the moment.) Then I had my son and took a few months off. I decided to return to nursing but decided to give the hospital a try. I've switched to two different units since being back at work and I'm absolutely miserable. I really just don't feel passionate about nursing like I did before working in the hospital.

I'm always exhausted when I'm at work and count down the hours until the shift is over. Then trying to recover each day I'm not at work? It's taking a toll on my relationship ship with my husband, my son, and my family. It's also taking a major toll on my health. I've had the same "cold" for 5 months and I'm having recurrent panic attacks when I think about going back to work. I knew being a nurse was tough, but I didn't expect it to (what feels like) wreck my life like this.

I'm finishing up my BSN this summer because I though it was the next thing to do, but I'm so afraid I'm not going to be able to do anything other than bedside nursing with that degree. I want a job where I'm not working crazy hours and where I'm not going absolutely insane. What else can I do??

You've taken a maternity leave and had three different jobs in 1.5 years of nursing. Honestly, you haven't stuck with one thing long enough to get comfortable with it or competent at it. The best thing you can do is stay where you are for a full year. Learn the role, become competent at your job and adjust to being a real nurse with all of the responsibility that entails. The first year of nursing is incredibly difficult, but you've not been through a full year. You've had a partial first year of nursing three times.

Most new grads are miserable, filled with anxiety, cry all the way to work and all the way home, cry in the bathroom at work, are uncomfortable with the hours and cannot figure out how to balance home and work. We've all been through it. The only way to get through it is to GO through it, and you seem to be trying to find a way to skip that part.

ivyleaf

366 Posts

Specializes in Ambulatory Case Management, Clinic, Psychiatry.

if you hated it in school, and you hate it over a year later, i think it's reasonable to try something besides the bedside. how long have you been at the bedside?

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