So,.. I believe this is how you create a thread. I'll find out. please bear with me it's long.
So I was hired as a new graduate into a year long residency program at a huge monopoly company when I graduated where I live, I worked there from Sept 11- Jan 31. (5 mo). I was so happy! It was super competitive to get in- 200 spots and over 750 applications.
The first month was training for 2 weeks and I started out in a community setting in a clinic for two weeks.
Since I'm a new grad they rotated us around- hence why it's called a residency- I then left for med surg for a month (4 mo) remaining, then to oncology for a month and a half (3.5 months left) and I said how at the end of my second rotation on oncology when I met with my boss and the oncology manager that I felt the first month on med surge was not a good experience as I felt like a tech and and how I basically learned how to do anything when I started in oncology. While I was on oncology during days I was with practically every day nurse and had no set preceptor. Which at times was confusing and conflicting at times based on nit-picking, but I got nothing but good feedback.
Because of that they decided to extend me a month and a half on oncology again, but this time on nights with one preceptor. Although I was originally told I was going to be placed on a rotation on orthopedics. Every week I asked my preceptor how I'm doing and things she suggested I work on, she gave me minimal feedback and said how I'm doing well and how I just need to work on critical thinking and how I'll get there and it'll take time. The only thing was the first week of nights I was with different nurses who said I'm doing fine and let me be independent. Then when I started working with my preceptor she'd continuously follow up w/me after report and ask what am I planning to do and who's the priority- and I'd say it then she'd say good job and then I'd be on my own. But throughout every shift she'd be like "your the primary nurse, I'm the tech here to help you out" and I'd just think "yeah, for the most part I've been the primary nurse with everything" and be like ok sounds good! Like some nights my preceptor would leave the floor for hours or take a nap.
then one day I took an admission and in report the pt had an indwelling foley, and the assessment was done, so I eventually told my preceptor report and I assessed the pt and she was like did you check the foley? and I was like no, but I saw the leg bag- so she was like let's go look together. and the pt did not have a foley, he had an condom cath on- and she berated me infront of the nurses station where all the other staff was and said how she's dissapointed, how i should always assess my pt, etc. which was super embarassing but I let it slide and didn't bother saying anything to ask to move since she was already berating me infront of everyone. Granted now I know to never take anyone's word even if I see a leg bag. then two days later she started talking about how I may be book smart but in the hospital everyone is equal and how it's a level playing field. Which i thought was weird to bring up, granted I was a good student with good grades because I put in so much hard work. Then one day she goes up to me in the side of the pt's room by the door and is like "you're doing well and I've seen improvements but did you go to school and waste four years of your life for nothing to have no job? you need to sell yourself here so you make sure you have a job!"
and that threw me for a loop- i thought it was really uncalled for to say that and it freaked me out thinking maybe it's not a yearlong program with guaranteed placement with a full time job (which I had) so I called HR on Monday morning just to inquire about it and I wound up saying what the nurse said to me but denied having HR tell the manager to discuss w/ the preceptor. my last two days were crazy and high priority patients, multiple blood tranfusions, admission with a running blood transfusion, platelet tranfusions, delayed blood transfusion reaction, not to mention a constant heparin drip. Which I managed well, I was continuously checking for the PTT for the heparin to appear during med pass and I saw it appeared so I stopped meds and was pulling up the policy, and the preceptor was like oh lets go! meanwhile I already had it pulled up. so my preceptor was saying how she won't remind me to check/make sure the ptt was drawn, and it was in my last day I met with the manager and my preceptor.
the manager and preceptor said I've improved so much in the short 3 month span considering it was apparent I didn't learn much my first month. and that the manager would love to hire me if there was spots available but they already filled them with other residents, and how she wishes me luck on where I get placed and maybe they'll offer me multiple positions instead of just one and to keep in touch with her.
and I wound up not working last week- my boss said she was going to meet with someone later in the week to determine my placement- which I thought nothing of as there was one resident who didn't work anywhere for 3 weeks- as they never got back to her. so I reached out to my boss Monday and she said to meet the 31st, and I met and they told me they have to let me go at this time. as I'm almost there with my critical thinking but I'm not quite there yet after 2 extensions (meanwhile it was only one!). so they'll have to let me go. and how they'd love to reconsider me and to keep in touch, but I can't apply to any of the huge mega monopoly corporation for the next 5 years. and when I stated that I didn't need the reminders, she happened to say things as I was doing them, they just repeated how "we need to let you go at this time". They recommended I 'think long and hard before applying else where to make sure its a slow paced environment where I can develop my critical thinking skills; so I thanked them and left.
Granted I have daily papers stating my progress and they were saying "able to work well independently" helps in codes, etc
So I really don't know what to do now. I'm freaked out to apply for another hospital position anywhere. I'm afraid people will look at my resume and be like why did you quit after 5 months? as I don't know if I was actually 'let go' or fired, I don't know how to respond. I genuinely believe that they hired too many of us without thinking of where to place us all- as the regular full time staff and other residents would talk all the time about the fact that they did so. Then I'm petrified of having another hospital say 'we have to let you go' too. I genuinely feel I did not wrong- I caught many things that went unnoticed and produced better patient outcomes. the director of my nursing program where I graduated is pretty high up in the hospital system chain, so I figured I could reach out to her for advice. A nurse I met from the clinic is like what they did is wrong, if your hospital was a part of the union they'd be all over you as they shouldn't have done that. the woman in career development from my school was shocked as well and even said "im thinking of this from a legal standpoint and you have many options but if you push you'd likely be unable to return in 5 years time...'.
I'm confused, hurt, shocked, upset, scared, and honestly unsure of what to do. it's been 5 months and honestly I'm wondering what else I can even do and going maybe I'll get a degree in something else- but the thought of that just makes me depressed cause I do love nursing... so...
I figured I am going to try to meet with the oncology floor manager and thank her for letting me extend on her floor and ask if she perhaps had any advice/would be willing to be a reference as she said she'd hire me if it doesn't conflict
lost and eating icecream sulking at home.
I'm sorry you had a disappointing experience. Not all nurse residencies are the same. At UPMC Pinnacle, for example, you are hired to a given area (i.e., I was employed as a cardiac telemetry RN on a busy, 44-bed, cardiac telemetry unit) where nurse residency "classes" start either towards the tail end of unit orientation or just shortly after that. There are no rotations between floors, units, etc. Just focusing on learning the policies, procedures, methodology, etc. of the unit/floor where you are hired and getting together with other new (less than 1 year experience) RN's to learn various topics in a small group (sometimes we split up into small groups) and large group (80 to 100 student) setting.
I recommend that you don't give up and that you avoid letting this one experience jade your passion for being a nurse. I would treat your first position as a job that didn't fit; pressed for details, in your shoes, I would focus on the present and future direction such as "I want a change where I would just work on one unit with a dedicated preceptor during orientation, learn, and grow on the floor until such a time I'm required and able to float."