Can I redeem myself in NICU? HOW?

[NoCrumping]

HI managers, I really need some advice/input. Here is how it is. I graduated nsg school 3 years ago, went right into a NICU, loved it, dove right into being responsible for my own learning of about this area, did excellent on my orientation, did well on my own for about 2 months.2 months plus the 3 on orientation. This was a top notch facility, and I knew it. Well, my personal life/ emotional issues (nothing to do with NICU nsg) forced me, or I should rather just say, I called in sick for about 4 days, then just never called back or went back. I was running from my problems in my personal life, and I was embarrassed to contact my managers. I actually left the state, to live with my friend. COMPLETELY UNPROFESSIONAL. I realize. I regretted it the minute I came to my senses. A few months go by, and I get a position in another NICU , in the new state I am in. I am there for 3 months. This situation , now, was less than ideal. I was commuting back and forth, staying at my friends on my days on, and driving back home to my family 3.5 hours away on days off. All the while, the plan is to permanantly move there. Well, this place was an absolute terrible place to work, they had every issue under the sun, and with my current situation of going back and forth, being tired, comparing it to the place I used to work at , etc.... well I left there too. So, I went home, took a position w/ a home care agency, taking only pediatric/preemie cases. I have been there for a year and a half. This is my problem: NICU nursing is the ONLY thing I went to nsg school for, It's all I want to do, ever. I cant even to stand to go near that first hospital, I start to cry, literally. I cant believe what I did, and I dont know how to fix it. I know I can never work at that hospital again.... BUT, I reallize I had issues to overcome, and I DID. These issues had nothing to do with any substance abuse, no performance issues, nothing like that. But I am fully aware that being a job hopper , or whatever I am, appears UNRELIABLE and UNPROFESSIONAL. I need some advice on how to overcome this . I need to get back into NICU and re-start my career. How do I do this? If you were a manager, interviewing me, how could I say/demonstrate my ability to now focus on my career in your unit, to convince you I am not a risk, but someone who made some mistakes but is ready to go back? What would make you want to even take a chance on me? This is such a big part of my life. I cant stand not being in an area of nursing that I love, and UNDERSTAND very well. I am simply a mediocre nurse in any other area. I was an EXCEPTIONAL NICU nurse, given my short time there, so I had been told. I take ceu's in that area almost daily, I am always reading and re reading the textbooks, clinical guides, etc. In my mind, its like I never left. My heart is there. I live in a small state, that first nicu is the only one here. Me and my family are hoping to relocate. How can I relay this to a future employer/manager ? Do I tell all, like I did here, and come off as a real nut job who has many issues? ( I DID, I dont now!!!) Or should I just feel lucky I have a nursing job at all, and forget NICU alltogether? Please, give me some advice. As you can read, I am desperate, and I dont know what to do about this. Thank you so much in advance for whatever advice you offer.....I cant imagine myself doing anything else in nursing, its my passion to be a nicu nurse... please advise and be honest.....this particular hosp is the ONLy nicu in my area......:imbar

also, understandably, I am in the system at the original hosp as "do not rehire". Would you advice me to call tehm and ask what I would do for them to reconsider? Have you heard of that happening? I would really like to sit down and explain, minus a little drams, of course. This hosp really needs nurses as well. I did get in touvh with my mgr after a couple weeks leaving, she was worried abt me, I said I wanted to come back , she had to check with another dept. The answer was no. What now? Is this hosp a dead horse, or can i be able to work there again, and how do i go about doing this!!!!!! thanks so much in advance for any and all info!!!!!!!!!!!

[rn/writer, RN]

It's interesting that you may have encountered this before. ...

Regardless of whether or not it is the same person posting, we do seem to be seeing a lot of people posting similare stories lately. They make some mistakes in job selection and/or performance and leave their first couple of nursing jobs on bad terms with their employers. Then they regret those mistakes and want to "erase them" and start their careers over. They don't realize that it doesn't work that way.

Somehow, we need to get the message out to students and new hires that their professional reputations are important. They can't just trash their reputations and then say, "Oops!" and get a complete "do over." Once you have acted unprofessionally or unreliably, it takes time and effort and sacrifice to GRADUALLY rebuild your reputation. Once you have lost people's trust, you have to earn it back. Trust and respect isn't just given because you want it to be.

It seems a common theme on this board lately. How sad. I'm wondering what to do to try to help people avoid those mistakes in the first place. Sorry to hijack the thread. Maybe we should start a new one on this general topic in another forum.

llg[/quot

so, are you suggesting that people in that situation just surrender their nursing license and just give up? Nobody requested a 'do over", or for it to be erased. Advice was simply being requested, in order to be remotely considered back at that original facility. If you read and understood the post,the point was yes, I aknowledged I acted like a total irresposible loser, and I acted impulsively to a personal situation that was affecting me. NOw, what can I do to recover my reliability? Is it even possible? To all who suggested going to a non nicu job and building a strong employment history there, thank you, I am doing that and am glad to know that will only help me in the long run.

If I had a drug problem, I would admit it, go to rehab or something, and then be welcomed back with open arms.....in any facility...but I do this (not minimizing it, calm down..) and I am getting the impression that I should forget being a nurse!!! I kow what happened was very unprofessional, but sheesh, lighten up. Nobody asked for a "do over".

I didn't see anything in llg's post about giving up your license. And I took the mention of a "do over" as referring to getting a second chance, which is what I thought you were trying to earn.

You're right that recovering substance abusers have an easier time of getting that second chance. I think that has to do with employers being careful of looking like they are discriminating against someone with a disability. And there is the thought that the recovering folks weren't in their right minds while they were using. Plus, going through rehab is a demonstration of committment in itself. Unfortunately, I don't know of any equivalent for what you went through.

I share llg's concern for people who make mistakes early in their careers. It does seem that a surprising number of folks don't recognize the potential consequences of their actions when they're in the middle of a muddle and they end up making choices that come back to haunt them. That might not be a huge deal working in fast food or at Wally World, but it can do serious damage, as you found out to your sorrow, to anyone in a licensed profession.

I don't think we explain this well enough to students or new hires. It might be listed in the written policy new employees are given, but the long-term SIGNIFICANCE of ditching a job is not discussed. Without that additional information, the nurse might think she is just messing up that one placement and not realize just how much she is putting on the line.

You're doing well do prove your stability and dependability in another hospital setting. I was concerned, though, when I read your response to llg. It seemed unnecessarily defensive and angry. I didn't perceive an attack in her post--only a general lamenting of the fact that there are a number of people who don't realized what's at stake. You are going to run into many people who will judge you far more harshly in this sensitive area. I would encourage you to learn how to handle other people's reactions--even those that are unfair--with calm and quiet dignity. A soft answer turns away wrath. You don't have to agree with what they say, but being able to keep your cool under pressure is a great indicator of maturity--and there may be those who will purposely give you a hard time to see how you handly yourself.

I'm sorry you went through a difficult time and lost something your valued so much. I hope you have another opportunity to do the job of your dreams.

Take care,

[Gompers, BSN, RN]

Okay, maybe this is the moderators job, but I'm kind of concerned now. The original post in this thread is actually cut and pasted from the original post from 5Fsilastic. It's the same post, ver batum.

NoCrumping, what is going on???? You even replied to that post!!!

https://allnurses.com/forums/f33/reliability-risk-ready-go-back-please-geive-advice-96649.html?highlight=chance

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

I'm going to close this thread pending moderator review.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Okay