Verbal altercation

[nitasarn]

Long story short I got into a verbal altercation at work, I was not the aggressor, in fact it was so disportionate to the situation I think he was "on something". Multiple witnesses, I already talk with the supervisor, I ended up writing an incident report about the situation, plus I wrote an email to my boss. Anyways, I did all this because I want follow up, but do you think I'll get that? Has anybody else been thru something like this?

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

Was the other person an employee? patient? visitor? physician? Expectations are different, depending on who it was. For instance - there is very little to excuse any hostility towards a patient. . but co-worker or obnoxious visitor may be another thing entirely.

I do have experience in this particular area because I am (by nature) very 'assertive' person. My first knee-jerk reaction to hostility is always "attack mode" -always verbal, never (not even close) physical. I learned the hard way - that this was not always the best option - LOL. Like you, I always 'owned my s***' and reported myself before anyone else did. In some instances, I was the only one who reported it. When I was called in for the 'discussion', I tried to be ready with my own corrective action plan. Depending on the situation, it may have included an apology. I also volunteered myself for various training/education programs related to communication & conflict management.

Over the years (many, many, many years) I have learned to deliberately apply more appropriate techniques (learned in all that training) to manage conflict. Much to the relief of my poor beleaguered bosses. I think that the most important factor in determining whether the ultimate outcome is negative or positive - is just taking ownership, recognizing that your actions were inappropriate, and offering up a concrete plan for atonement/correction.

[nitasarn]

Thanks for the reply. But it was with another employee that I really dont closely work with.

[Flatlander]

I had an experience with a male coworker (I am female) before I became a nurse. I tried to correct him on something, he took offense, and the verbal exchange became heated before I could stop myself. Sadly, this brief interchange ended with him stalking off in a huff and avoiding me ever since. I, on the other hand, was too proud and self-righteous to apologize. It went on like this, us passing each other in the hall at work and avoiding all eye contact and interaction, literally for years! It was really so junior high. Finally, after giving each other the cold shoulder for eons, I tried to apologize and ended up putting my foot in it again! I decided then that we were oil and water and ever would be.

Sorry my tale is not more instructive. If I had it to do over again, I think I would apologize for my part in it, try to have a cordial relationship, and let go of my "grudge." There's already too much conflict and animosity in the world, fueled by anger and maintained by pride!

Good luck finding a workable solution... one that you can feel good about!

[goalienrse]

Yup, happened to me several times in my first six months in my first hospital nursing job. Having never had troubles with coworkers at work it was new to me. And I do mean never. But this place it happened a lot. I learned to apologize and talk it out with those coworkers. And then I learned not to engage, it wasn't worth it. Even when one would try to goad me into it and they deserved a piece of my mind. lol.

Its not worth it, keep your cool