I will try
to keep this short and sweet...
Hx: anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance (both hypersomnia and insomnia)
RN since: 2012
Elementary school RN, under district RN supervision
Recently I had my first appointments with a therapist and psychiatrist. I was terrified to be completely honest about my intense mood swings, racing thoughts... the list of symptoms is long so I will stop short.
My mother was a psych nurse, and I have been fascinated with mental health (and illness) my entire life. If a class requirement could be filled with a psych course then there I was. Mental health was my favorite clinical rotation. Fascinating. And all too relatable.
So I have finally reached a point where I realize that I need professional help, more than a bottle of ativan and my spiritual life coach can offer me. My Pdoc mentioned that if my symptoms were more prevalent the dx would be bipolar II... if only I could have been totally open with him
. My symptoms are ruling my life! I wanted to tell him I have long suspected that I am bipolar. Instead I nodded in agreement that the dx should remain anxiety and left, celexa prescription in hand.
I feel somewhat validated by his casual mention of bipolar II. Like suddenly my whole life makes since in hindsight.
I will return to the Tdoc today, accompanied by my boyfriend in the hopes that he can help me be more open and honest about my symptoms and how they affect my life. But I am still very very scared of the possible implications that a mood disorder dx could have on my life. Of course, I am also afraid of the consequences of not receiving proper treatment.
Can anyone help to shed light on what I could expect if diagnosed with bipolar disorder? Anyone with experience with the California BRN?