Thanks, Viva. The sad thing is that I feel okay now. When I do cry, it's actually at my work situation. I cannot find work in my field. Part of me wants to move on and work on something else that pays the bills (I have clerical experience) and volunteer with my nursing license and work as an MA or something (in TN. Don't have a TN license, therefore, I don't think that they can say I am at risk for using my license.) Like I said before, apparently, my chosen field is not exactly 100% nursing.
I am finding a lot of gaps in mental health care and I want to fix it. If I have to go to school and learn program implementation (an MPH teaches that.) and create and implement my own programs, I will. Maybe take a grant writing class. I am just tired of the status quo and the ignorance with mental health. I have always thought it would be awesome to have mental health scholarships
for people who have mental health issues and want to do wonderful things in life. I have found one or two. Not many. Perhaps it's because many people who are "out" with their mental health issues end up in lower end jobs (I am not degrading anyone. Please do not take it that way.)
My dream is (or was as things are starting to go) to work for the CDC or NIH/NIMH (eventually, I want to start out at the health dept) and I once had a therapist/substance abuse counselor tell me that I wouldn't be able to do it or it would be too hard for me/too stressful. I left her. The goal of therapy is to fill in the holes/correct the deficits in order to make the person "whole" again, so they can have a wonderful life and "can do" things in life they want to. Not to tell someone they can't.
I want people with mental health issues to find a place of hope, healing, and a new beginning for a better life.