Balancing on the Borderline - page 3

by MusicalCoffee 8,116 Views | 26 Comments

Let me just say that I am 24 years of age, which is relatively young. I first noticed something was wrong with me when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I suffered alone, though, because I had no idea what it was and my parents... Read More


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    Maybe you need to talk it out with a psychiatrist or someone that you really can trust.
    VivaLasViejas and mariebailey like this.
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    Quote from MusicalCoffee
    Thank you all for the replies and well wishes; I appreciate them. I understand what some of you are saying about nursing school and the profession adding salt to the wound, if you will, but I know if I don't try to succeed at it, I'll regret it. Nursing is something my heart really is in. It makes me feel good to be learning how to help and take care of others, which is why I have a hard time understanding why the rest of me isn't feeling that happiness. However, I will definitely look into alternatives and take the suggestions given into consideration because if it turns out I cannot be a nurse, I would at the very least like to be in the medical field helping in some way.

    I will also see what I can find on my school's policies on accomodation, though I'm a bit embarrassed to have to bring that up to my advisor. I'm not looking for special treatment and I don't want to be viewed differently because of this. I work very hard to maintain my grade point average, but at the same time, if something can help, it's worth a try. I feel a bit better knowing there are others going through similar experiences. Not in the misery loves company way, but rather it's nice knowing I'm not the only one feeling this way, even if I don't know any of you personally. I do plan on getting back on track, and again, thank you all for your comments.
    I know it's hard to ask for accommodations. Usually we just grit our teeth and hang on desperately until the world falls out from under us, and THEN we wonder what the deuce hit the fan. It's happened to me I don't know how many times, and I never understood why until recently, when my employer decided to offer me "reasonable accommodations" for my illness, rather than allow me to continue floundering as I had been.

    About a year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar 2, which unfortunately is proving somewhat difficult to manage. I've probably had it most of my life, but like a lot of type 2's I got away without being dx'd properly until the disorder was completely out of control. Now I'm on five different meds just for the BP, and although I'm vastly improved from where I was a year ago, I still struggle with it. So when I recently came under fire for my uneven performance on the job, I wasn't shocked when my illness was mentioned during the discussion of how to fix things. I've been very open about my health issues, and in a way I'm glad because now I'm getting what I needed to do my job better.

    Yeah, it's a little tough on the pride to accept "accommodations", because that means admitting we need the help. But as people have already said, if you're diabetic and you have to check your BG every few hours and make sure you eat on a reasonable schedule to prevent hypoglycemia, no one would think twice about it. Why should disorders of the brain be any different?
    amoorect and jadelpn like this.
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    Nursing is extremely stressful. Some nurse/co-workers have depression and anxiety, and I wish they could be put on something to help them cope. Make sure that you have a calling for nursing and that it's something you absolutely want to do.
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    If it makes you feel any better, I was dx'd with BPD at 16. Struggled a lot as a teen and young adult, including the first semester of nursing school.

    I wasn't expected to "make it." I made it through some very hard times, including multiple back to back hospitalizations, etc.. I no longer qualify for a BPD dx. Older, and wiser.
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I think you should see a psychiatrist and tell them about your very high highs and low lows. Your diagnoses may be more clear cut now that you are an adult. Then you can make an informed decision on what to do next. Good Luck.
  6. 1
    I see that you have some great replies. I agree that DBT is a good treatment choice. It works for many, and I believe was originated by Marsha Linehan. She has recovered from BPD.

    I have an adult daughter with BPD. I was in therapy to learn how to communicate with her. We were always in a circular arguement. I learned so much, and I belong to a support group for parents of BPD children.

    I hear they have talked about changing the name of BPD to Emotional Regulation Disorder. I sure hope so, as I hate the term Borderline.

    As someone else mentioned that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of others. On an airplane they tell mothers to put their oxygen mask on first before helping little ones. So, before you can take care of patients, you must take care of yourself. Please find a good therapist, one that specializes in BPD, and a good psychiatrist.

    Nursing is stressful. But, if the desire is there,and you are compliant with your treatment, you can do it. Trust me, there are many nurses with BPD. I worked in psychiatric hospital and we had several nurses with various mental illnesses. ie BPD, Bipolar, MDD. They made great nurses!! (not untreated, though) And, I think the one psychiatrist was NPD!
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
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    I haven't read all the other comments, but the school's disability department is your friend! They can help find solutions and help you succeed. Of course, you may also need help from a doctor too.

    Don't give up!


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