whats next?????????? - page 3

by dfhcih

6,395 Views | 27 Comments

i am currently under the supervision of tnpap. i went through the evaluation process and was found to not have a dependenct problem. however, on saturday i took a percocet for back pain, not thinking about itreally, and then... Read More


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    well going 3 nights a week to a meeting, is really no big deal, i am going 3 nights a week now! glad it didn't take much to get me here. really glad!!!!!!!! gotta get off here and watch grey's....lol i'll be back tomorrow, maybe we can chat then!
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    have fun! you wont see me again until monday. i'm still a weekender at work. hate my job, love my shift so i cant seem to make myself quit even though i want too.

    good to meet you!!!!!
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    De Nile is not a river in egypt!
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    De Nile? i don't really see how i am in denial. i am full on admitting that i have a problem. where is the denial in that? i am going to meetings, found a support group, and doign all i can. like i said, i see no denial, but if you think i am in denial, instead of just posting a sharp post maybe you could tell me why you think i am in denial and maybe what i could do about it! that is why i am here, not to be judged.
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    Quote from dfhcih
    thanks for your insight! i am trying to look deep inside and thats why i am here. i do think that i may be in the early stages of addiction. i will be attending a na meeting tonight. i just foundit online! i want to fix this now, before i have to go down the road that i have read other nurses have. no it wasn't my pill it was my dads, and i now know i should not have taken it, thats kinda what scares me, i just did it without thinking about it. i really am scared to death, and i want to get this taken care of, even if it means going to meetings or whatever! please if you see something i don't let me know i am here to get you guys advice, you guys have been here before and i just want to know that if this is indeed addiction i would just liek to know that i can beat it before its gets really bad. i have a 2 year old that needs his momma, and from the stories i have read, if this continues he might lose me. can you understand where i am coming from?
    I do see in your posts something that just doesn't seem right. You were evaluated and you do NOT have an addiction? Did you tell the truth to the evaluator? If you're on this board, talking about how you have the "beginning" stages of addiction, then my friend, you DO have a problem. There IS a diagnosis. You really need to be reevaluated and tell the truth when they ask you the questions.

    This is 2009, you will not get stoned to death or wrapped in blanket and thrown in a lake to see if you sink or float. You will have the proper diagnosis needed to treat what is going on with you. If you are truly having a problem, which in your posts I seem to get that you do, then you really need the proper diagnosis and the proper treatment. Why in the world would you go through a treatment when you do not have a chemical dependency/substance abuse diagnosis? That makes no sense whatsoever. The state board of nursing in your state shouldn't even be allowing you to go through substance abuse treatment if you don't have a substance abuse problem.

    Did you divert? If so, and you don't have a substance abuse problem, then what did you do with the diversion? Did you give it to someone else? If you did, then that would be theft and illegally dispensing a narcotic. That should be treated as such, not as a dependency problem.

    I just looked back and reread your post where you said they accused you of diverting but it was just "all documentation errors". How many of these documentation errors did you have? And were they just narcotic documentation errors? Did you forget to sign that you gave it? Or did you give the narcotics too often? If they were just documentation errors, and you never failed a drug test, then the board would have disciplined you appropriately by making you take a course on documentation.

    I know that you said you wanted our help here, but you really must explain the situation in whole, TRUTHFULLY, before we can help you. You can't come in here saying you don't have a problem, that you're not an addict, but you have the beginning stages of addiction and you're working the steps and going to NA now. WHAT??

    The first thing you need to do is either admit you have a real problem, or get help for the real problem that you do have..... either you have problems with documentation errors and everyone who investigated you don't know what the hell they're doing,,, or you really do have an addiction and you want to get the help you need.

    About your baby,, you will not lose him if you're actively trying to get well, if you stay sober and don't do anything illegal or anything to harm him, no one will take away your baby. But, I think if you deny the fact you have a problem~~ and if the truth is that you really do have an addiction... you are not going to get the proper treatment,, it is possible that you could deny yourself the help you really need and end up with a more serious addiction problem down the road.
    Last edit by Magsulfate on Jan 23, '09 : Reason: additions
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    yes it was documentation errors,a dn yes i had to take courses about it. i completed the courses about 4 months ago. and the evaluation i had said i did not have a dependency problem, i did not say that. no i did not divert, i was being lazy and not signing my prns out on the back of the MAR. and no it was not only narcotics. the pain pill i took last sat, came from my dad, i do not even give those pain meds out at work, so it would be hard to divert something i did not have access to. i am scared right now and i really do think that i have a problem, and i am going to meetings to try and fix this. i am not going to meetings because some doctor said i have a problem, i am going because i feel like i should. i think that someone that did not have a problem would not have taken a pill that was not prescribed to her. that is what is making me think there is something going on with me. the fact that i just swallowed a pill ,a percocet, without even thinking about it says there is something going on. as far as treatment, idk if they will make me go or not. maybe not. i am here to get you guys help to get thru this. i don't want to have to go down the same road some of the nurses here have. what is wrong with me trying to get help now?
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    That's what you want here is help, that's what I'm trying to give you. YOu will get advice here and it will all be different. Sometimes people will post things to make you think (like me) and sometimes those very same posts will be here for other people to read when they are crossing a path that they never knew they would have to cross.

    Just do what you need to do, and never deny yourself of anything.
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    thanks fro being here, i just want to do what is best for me. right now i think going to meetings and stuff is good for me. although my hubby says its stupid, that i am being over dramatic. but deep down i know there is something going on. sorry if i came across as rude. i am not i am just really confused right now! thats all. but believe me when i say i do really want you guys help. maybe i am not seeing something, and thats ok, i am trying to get a clear understanding. keep in touch. maybe i will be able to see what you guys are seeing someday


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