Meetings for the rest of my life?

[jnks]

I really don't want to come off as a whiner, but I just needed to get this out there and get some feedback. I have been in and out of recovery since 1999, w/ 3 periods of somewhat significant sobriety. In 99, I got 6 months, to step 3 (in NA), and relapsed, starting w/ ETOH. In 2001, I got clean again for almost 6 yrs and relapsed. I became really bitter and hardened and got pretty beat up by my lifestyle. After many attempts and finally the BRN's help, I got clean again, going on a year. I am up to step 10 w/ my AA sponsor, attend AA/NA as well as nurse support group and another weekly support group. I did 2 months inpatient and 2 months IOP. Of course my enthusiasm for the program fluctuates, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't see myself continuing meetings, etc after diversion. I never want to use or drink again, but don't think I'll be able to sustain my AA program on my own if I still feel this way in 2-3 more years when I am out of Diversion. Has anyone else felt this way or does anyone have any advice or opinions on this they'd be willing to share? I just don't have the passion I had for the program in my previous attempts at sobriety.

[caliotter3]

Have met people in recovery who were not nurses, who at various times changed their participation in recovery groups. They basically came and went as they felt the need, perhaps in conjunction with relapses or near misses. These people openly talked about their need, or lack of need, to attend meetings. I don't see why nurses should be any different.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

To be honest, I stopped attending meetings very early in my recovery process. They were very useful in shattering what was left of my illusion that I actually had any control over alcohol and they did a GREAT job breaking though the denial, but I found so much support within my own family and my small circle of friends that it was enough for me.

It's different for everyone, however, and I would urge you to stick with your meetings at least as long as it takes you to get through your diversion program. It sounds as though you need the structure, although you could try Women for Sobriety or another program if AA/NA doesn't cut it for you. I wasn't too thrilled with my local AA chapter---so many people were still so dysfunctional after months and years of sobriety, and I needed role models for how to live the sober life.

Eventually I learned to do it on my own, however, and in 19 1/2 years of sobriety I've never had a total relapse. I've certainly had the "dry drunk" periods in which I did the stinkin' thinkin'---bad attitude, feeling sorry for myself, wanting to drink so badly I could almost taste it---IOW, I did everything wrong except take a drink. But I've always been able to call or text someone who'd help me get through it without picking up that first beer, or tipping back that first swig of Jack Daniels.

So I think the answer is "probably" you don't need to go to meetings forever, but they are your lifeline right now......grab it and hang on until you're stronger!

[jnks]

That's good to hear. I've been hearing the "you need to do meetings for the rest of your life or die!" a little much lately. I have been disillusioned w/ the program, in part d/t many of the still dysfunctional people who justify behaviors I don't want any part of with "hey, but I'm sober." What is women for sobriety?