Help! Did I screw myself?

[DaisyRN, ACNP]

Okay all, I need some help. I'm in my last year of the ACNP program and received feedback on a paper that I did. I'm very particular about my papers, APA format, and such, and have always made A's on them. I'm okay with not making an A if its fairly evaluated.

My problem is that our associate instructor, who is a doctoral student herself, graded my paper. This is her first semester as being a co-teacher. I was quite upset when she gave me my paper back because it didn't seem fair. The points that she took off didn't seem to match up with the notations within the paper of what I had done wrong. She wanted me to talk with her about it after class, and needless to say, we ended up on the verge of argument over "Level of Headings" and I wasn't going to argue with her... especially in front of my lead instructor. When I'm frustrated, I get teary-eyed, so Im sure she heard it in my voice when I said, "You know... it's fine... I just want to go home. Thanks for going over my paper with me."

So I left and headed home, cooled off, and read back over my paper. Come to find out, she was incorrect on several things she counted off for. I emailed her (not the lead instructor out of respect for the new instructor and not calling her out in front of the lead teacher), I apologized for getting so upset and explained that I am a perfectionist and had had a very rough week (which I had). I also mentioned that after talking with her, I had a better understanding regarding a portion of my grade, but still had concerns. I listed the questionable things that she counted off for and gave reference for each one and why I thought it was correct.

I told her that it was hard not to seek clarification on these things since I had information backing me up and would appreciate her taking them into consideration. She emailed me back and said that "We will have a reply next week sometime." So, she probably forwarded it to the lead instructor, which is fine which I had told her it would be in the first email.

My concern is that she is coming to my clinical site for final evaluation tomorrow and that she may be my clinical instructor for the remainder of the year. Tomorrow, my plan is to act like nothing happened and not bring it up. I almost wish that I hadn't questioned her about any of it, but its a whole letter grade difference... and she WAS wrong... and she IS learning... right?

[JALEXSHOE]

This reminds me of Greek Mythology and the story of the fates. One of the crones spun the string, the other measured it, and the third one cut it. This was supposed to be a rendition of what happen in life. Sometimes all you can do is leave it to the fates.

This is very hard for one who is so used to being in control and very assertive as I assume you are. But know I see a kindness in you too. You are always so helpful and informative in these posts on this board and it shines through.

I knew there was something wrong when I saw your name and it wasn't in its creative green text.

Who you are will shine through. Do not depart from who you are and you will be just fine. As Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true." I take this interpretation to mean, what you are will be what others see if you only have the courage to be yourself.

Pick your battles. Oriental philosophies state that, "A man that is quick to anger, is ruled by it." You cannot change what is done, so you can only move forward. I do not see any great harm in challenging those facts. You know in your heart you were right. You cannot be the first student to challenge her, you will not be the last.

When I was first in nursing school 20 years ago, I had an instructor in my first class that told me she wished she could figure out a way to fail me because she didn't think I was quality enough to be a nurse. I had offended her, because I went to school barefoot to attend the mandatory classes after my ex husband had burned my books and my shoes in protest of my obtaining an education. If I had taken that to heart, I would not be where I am now. I can think of no one personally today that would share her opinion, in fact, they would probably string her up on a rail (grin).

When it boils down to it, it is just an opinion dearest. And yes there is the grade, but you will see that who you are, how you are, and who you will become will be far more important in the end.

Wishing the very best. Knowing you will be fine.

Love though you don't know me...

Stefy

[TPfan24]

Oh that APA fprmat! Going through the 10 years to get my BSN then MSN, I had many a paper which I though was wonderfully written to come back marked in red over APA format. Also the teachers had different expectations regarding APA. Up until my last paper, I still referred to the APA book and spend hours figuring out perfect punctuation and references. I just accepted the constructive criticism knowing someday someday I would be done. After graduating in 2006 I could not believe I did not need to write any more papers for grades anyway. I say learn from this, the teachers want you to write a great paper otherwise they would not put so much effort into feedback. You also will be done soon enough! Best wishes for your last year!

[TPfan24]

Oh that APA format! Going through the 10 years to get my BSN then MSN, I had many a paper which I though was wonderfully written to come back marked in red over APA format. Also the teachers had different expectations regarding APA. Up until my last paper, I still referred to the APA book and spend hours figuring out perfect punctuation and references. I just accepted the constructive criticism knowing someday someday I would be done. After graduating in 2006 I could not believe I did not need to write any more papers for grades anyway. I say learn from this, the teachers want you to write a great paper otherwise they would not put so much effort into feedback. You also will be done soon enough! Best wishes for your last year!

[DaisyRN, ACNP]

*hehe* is the color better for ya?

how sweet you are! i had no idea anyone paid that much attention to me... :)

i did decide to keep my mouth shut on this one and just let it ride... i was fortunate in that i just received my paper from this semester yesterday and scored a 93! were there questionable deductions on that one? yes... but at least it was done by the lead instructor and not the immature, ignorant instructor wanna-be. *hehe* and you labeled me right on... i am use to being in control... i'm very assertive... and i'm a natural leader... so yes, it was difficult... but biting my tongue proved beneficial. the issue of the paper and such may be brought up again, but not until the instructors cannot touch my grades anymore. even at that point, i may just move on... knowing that i am an acnp.

thanks for your kind words!!! :)

this reminds me of greek mythology and the story of the fates. one of the crones spun the string, the other measured it, and the third one cut it. this was supposed to be a rendition of what happen in life. sometimes all you can do is leave it to the fates.

this is very hard for one who is so used to being in control and very assertive as i assume you are. but know i see a kindness in you too. you are always so helpful and informative in these posts on this board and it shines through.

i knew there was something wrong when i saw your name and it wasn't in its creative green text.

who you are will shine through. do not depart from who you are and you will be just fine. as shakespeare said, "to thine own self be true." i take this interpretation to mean, what you are will be what others see if you only have the courage to be yourself.

pick your battles. oriental philosophies state that, "a man that is quick to anger, is ruled by it." you cannot change what is done, so you can only move forward. i do not see any great harm in challenging those facts. you know in your heart you were right. you cannot be the first student to challenge her, you will not be the last.

when i was first in nursing school 20 years ago, i had an instructor in my first class that told me she wished she could figure out a way to fail me because she didn't think i was quality enough to be a nurse. i had offended her, because i went to school barefoot to attend the mandatory classes after my ex husband had burned my books and my shoes in protest of my obtaining an education. if i had taken that to heart, i would not be where i am now. i can think of no one personally today that would share her opinion, in fact, they would probably string her up on a rail (grin).

when it boils down to it, it is just an opinion dearest. and yes there is the grade, but you will see that who you are, how you are, and who you will become will be far more important in the end.

wishing the very best. knowing you will be fine.

love though you don't know me...

stefy

[cgfnp]

*hehe* is the color better for ya?

how sweet you are! i had no idea anyone paid that much attention to me... :)

i did decide to keep my mouth shut on this one and just let it ride... i was fortunate in that i just received my paper from this semester yesterday and scored a 93! were there questionable deductions on that one? yes... but at least it was done by the lead instructor and not the immature, ignorant instructor wanna-be. *hehe* and you labeled me right on... i am use to being in control... i'm very assertive... and i'm a natural leader... so yes, it was difficult... but biting my tongue proved beneficial. the issue of the paper and such may be brought up again, but not until the instructors cannot touch my grades anymore. even at that point, i may just move on... knowing that i am an acnp.

thanks for your kind words!!! :)

or you could just anonymously run a bead of polyurethane glue along the door of her office, then close it. once it dries within a few seconds, they'll have to saw around it to get it open. :angryfire

[DaisyRN, ACNP]

you know, that's not such a bad idea!!! i'll have to keep that in mind...

[suanna]

I think you responded appropriately and professionally. You are describing a problem I have seen in both undergrad and post grad nursing education. In every other class the tests were objective, well reviewed and clear cut. In nursing the exams and papers were largely an opinion poll dependent on the musings of whichever instructor was in charge at the moment. . Our vocation will never be a profession until we can achieve the level of acedemic sophistication that is standard for other sciences. Good luck.

[cgfnp]

I think you responded appropriately and professionally. You are describing a problem I have seen in both undergrad and post grad nursing education. In every other class the tests were objective, well reviewed and clear cut. In nursing the exams and papers were largely an opinion poll dependent on the musings of whichever instructor was in charge at the moment. . Our vocation will never be a profession until we can achieve the level of acedemic sophistication that is standard for other sciences. Good luck.

Bullseye. You could attempt to find a career field that is loaded with more ambiguous and meaningless material, but you will not succeed. Nursing education makes me nauseous. The nursing educators will argue that you need to write papers about what color of aura Martha Rogers was feeling on Tuesdays, but you'll never convince me this can make you a better NP. If there ever comes a day that a NP can get a MD online with clinical rounds at your home town or nearby city, I'll be saying goodbye to the N in FNP forever.

[christvs, DNP, RN, NP]

you know, that's not such a bad idea!!! i'll have to keep that in mind...

hey daisy, this is off the topic, but i see that you're an acnp student and will graduate this year. that's awesome! :) i'm an acnp student as well and will graduate may 2008. what have your clinical rotations been like so far? i'm starting my first one in the er this month and am nervous and excited about it.