Why is it always the patient with the worst situation? geez

Nurses Relations

Published

Why is it always the patient with a chronic disease, stage 4 of some cancer, or some autoimmune, self deteriorating condition that passes judgement initially, or wants to be picky about their care?

For eg, a pt who was homeless, he passed out walking 30 miles in the heat to a shelter after his landlord kicked him out, stage 3 cancer, continues to smoke, he smelled really bad because he had been at the hospital with the same clothes he came in.

He refused EVERYTHING, his telemetry, assessments, vitals ... and the nerve to not want an African American nurse at some point during his care here. Goes out to smoke, against rules.

I just thought, dude, you are at your worst, and you have the nerve to be reckless to people and make our hob harder.

Pt I have tonight, has cancer, maybe it might be my fault at reading people, but I went in to say hello, you can sense his annoyance. His wife was pretty nice. I assessed him, said "call if you need anything". He goes "uh huh, yea, have a good day (although its the night shift).

Maybe he's passive in life in general, idk. but I will not be rude or reckless to the person who was taking care of me. Like how you shouldn't scream at the waiter serving your food - they'll spit in it sorta thing.

I hope to continue to look at these people as just overstressed with their condition, and that this might not be who they are on a daily basis. wow.

Specializes in Pedi.
I've had the opposite experience. The people with stage 4 cancer or other incredibly difficult diagnoses have been some of my best patients. It's the people with the easiest cases that have been my troublesome patients.

I agree with this. I work- and always have worked- in pediatrics. I will take the stage 4 cancer patient on the brink of death over the not-so-sick-but-oh-so-annoying-and-demanding teenager with a headache any day. I have always found the patients with the worse diagnoses/more chronic conditions to be the most rational patients/families whereas the ones who have something relatively mild are the worst to care for and are always convinced they're the "sickest patient on the floor."

I don't think it's fair to say, as many of the posters on here have said, that the OP has no compassion. Compassion is a nice ideal, but nearly impossible to feel for some of the unpleasant people we all have to work with. And I don't see why having a chronic illness -- even a severe or terminal illness -- gives a patient the right to treat the nurses trying to help him like dirt.

They told me a story at my first job about a blind patient who was nearly independent at home, and after being in the hospital having people hand him everything, feed him pills etc. just so the nurse could hurry it along and get her job done etc. he left in way worse condition ADL-wise than when he came in. That story left a big impression on me about holding cups for people to drink out of just because they look frail, are taking too long with it, look like they're going to spill it etc. If they don't use it they'll lose it.

We had a patient up here who played that game (or tried to - I know exactly what you're talking about but I mean a pt who does, well, nothing - this guy was a bit different) - I'm in oncology, I get that some people cope by regressing, and I can give in to that to a point (TO A POINT) - but I'll be hanged if I'm going to hand someone a glass of water that they are perfectly capable of getting up and getting for themselves.

And I don't take abuse from anyone. Not doctors, not RNs, and certainly not patients. There's a limit, folks. In my world, doing nothing can kill you, and at the very least deteriorate you to the point that you'll never fully recover - so get up and move as much as you can.

+ Add a Comment