My boss says she has received several complaints about me. Nobody has ever come to me with "concerns with my performance". I will be completely honest in this post since I don't know anyone here. Some of the complaints include:
1) "Leaving the floor for extended periods of time": The only time I ever leave my floor is to either pick up blood from the lab or during my two 15-minute break and one 30-minute lunch break. And I ALWAYS ask for permission before I go outside. There are two other smokers on my floor and they live with the same rules I do. Our nurses station is broken into two sections, with more computers to chart on in the back. Often times I go back there to chart. I'm not a loud and rambunctious person. Many times the charge nurse or secretary will call my phone and I walk to where they are and say "Are you calling me? I'm right back here!" LOL I encouraged my boss to look at security cameras to see my movements throughout the hospital. Besides, I'm too busy to wander around the hospital!
2) "She doesn't answer/carry her phone": Actually I am one of the nurses who DOES carry her phone. There might be the rare occasion where I have both hands in a "sticky" situation (ie inserting a Foley, etc) and I'm unable to answer the phone. But if that's a sin... I'd rather be a sinner than breaking sterility, dirtying my phone...
3) "She gives narcotics at night when the patient doesn't get them during the day": I remember once losing track of time and forgetting to get pain meds for a patient. Of course, I was written up for that. Now I give pain meds as the patient requests (according to drs orders) and now it's too much. I will give in and say that I may be more likely to give pain medications (I work on a post-op floor BTW) after seeing my mother suffer with horrible pain due to cancer which claimed her life this year. I don't want to see anyone suffering. But I suppose it's the numbers I should worry about.
4) "She's not witnessed when getting narcotics": Honestly, there are NO nurses on my floor that stand and wait for you to waste narcotics. So why am I the only one targeted? If that nurse is running through the nurses station and I need her to witness, she would fingerprint the Pyxis and run off on whatever she was previously working on.
5) "She didn't turn the bed alarm on such and such patient": Patient safety is of great importance and so are bed alarms. There have been occasions where I've walked in a room and an alarm isn't on. Whether I did it or someone else did it (for example someone taking my pt to the restroom and forgetting to turn on the alarm) it's hard to tell. But yes, tell me about it when it occurs! Does it really need to involve being written up over? Matter of opinion I suppose. Now if it's an ongoing problem, that's another story.
So basically the meeting with my boss was nothing short of a Salem witch trial. Seriously. And because I'm being accused of using drugs I willingly took a urine test. I do take Lortab on rare occasions and Klonopin on a daily basis so I know at least the Klonopin will come back. But I have a legit prescription. And ironically, I went on Klonopin after going to my doctor and breaking down over the stress of my job and a few particular employees. But apparently the process is to declare your prescriptions after your drug test comes back positive. Sounds weird to me, but that's how they said it's done. Oh, and I'm suspended until the drug test comes back.
So with all that being said I am SO hurt, SO betrayed, and SO mad. Alot like a grieving process. Even with a clean drug test I know my boss is going to fire me based on accusations alone. My job was always one good thing going for me in my life. Especially after losing my mother (in a deep depression over that still).
Has anyone ever been through this? What do I do? How do I feel? Even if I am allowed to return to work, how do I work as an efficient nurse knowing I'm walking on glass and I don't know who will make something up next? I don't recall ever doing anything to make any nurses or supervisors target me. I know I have probably been withdrawn since losing my mother, but I sure as hell am not doing drugs! I love my job too much!
