The Patient I Failed - page 3

by nerdtonurse? 374,297 Views | 321 Comments

She knew what she wanted. She'd watched her husband of 52 years die on a vent, and followed his wishes to remain a full code. But she knew that was not what she wanted for herself. So, she wrote a Living Will, had it... Read More


  1. 4
    OMG what a sad story. I do not think that you failed this woman at all. Like said previously Her Dr and her daughter failed her. I too have seen this in the hopsital setting. I've seen DNR's overturned and people sadly having things done that they never wanted. It is such a sad sad thing. Thanks so much for a reminder on how to treat our patients with respect. Beautifully written.
    TJ'sMOM, frenchfroggyRN, Soozul, and 1 other like this.
  2. 3
    I could somewhat understand why the daughter did what she did, most of the time it is hard to let go, BUT the saddest part is not respecting your parents wishes.
  3. 3
    It was excellent. Beautifuly written. It is a situation when we nurses compelled to do unnecessery procedures insted of leading client to a peaceful death.
    TJ'sMOM, CaOTn96, and nerdtonurse? like this.
  4. 4
    So beautifully written...Using quotes from the Living Will as if the dying patient is speaking directly to family and nurse. And she was.

    Thank you for sharing this.
    TJ'sMOM, DizzyLizzyNurse, CaOTn96, and 1 other like this.
  5. 2
    Wow.
    Just. Wow.
    frenchfroggyRN and nerdtonurse? like this.
  6. 4
    i'am soooooooo sorry that you have to go thru this, it's hard enough that you being a nurse, and know what is going to happen d/t what your mom is going thru, is not enough, that your sister has "all" the power over your moms life, since you can't do anything, please hang in there for your mom sake and make her last days seem worth while . i will be praying for you !!!:icon_hug:
  7. 3
    I just have to echo that this was a beautifully written piece. As others have said, you are not the one who failed her.
    I went through a similar situation this past semester, only it was the wife of the patient controlling everything. Looking into my patient's eyes and seeing him mouth that he wanted the "stuff" out of him, yet being powerless to do anything about it broke my heart.
  8. 3
    what a touching story. I have seen this some many many times in my career. It is so difficult for us sometimes to watch as family members struggle with their goodbyes (however long they may take). I luckily work with some wonderful doctors now who are patient advocates. They are always quick to approach those subjects with families/patients. They are also willing to talk and LISTEN to what they have to say. There are still times though when what WE want for our patients is not what they get. I think we see things that others never see, and have a very different perspective on life and death.
    I used to think that death was the worst thing that could ever happen to you, but have seen that the prolonging of death is sometimes much worse.
    wonderfully written. thanks.
  9. 2
    What a touching story... and how beautifully written...
    TJ'sMOM and nerdtonurse? like this.
  10. 3
    very poignant and well written. Kudos to you for putting into words what so many of us think but are unable to articulate without pure anger.


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