I am an American.

Nurses Relations

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In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Excuse me! I am American and I am living in America! How come these doctors don't have to respect my culture? How come they don't have to respect me (I am a woman)?

Of course I will continue to make eye contact and I will continue to request things my patients need and I will continue to suggest things that the patient needs. I will continue to advocate for my patients. If the doc doesn't like it... tough crap. I live in America and have the rights afforded American women. I am not giving them up to stroke the ego of a bigot.

Well, for one thing, what civil liberty is being violated here? No one's been fired; no one's being forced to do anything s/he is morally or ethically opposed to doing. It can also be argued that this physician is entitled to ignore nurses' suggestions if he chooses. In essence, his expectations are a nuisance to the nursing staff----but being a nuisance, in and of itself, is not a violation of others' rights.

This is why I brought the ACLU in on this : the OP stated that "assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients"."

Wouldn't that be a violation of free speech?-one of the first items on ACLU's Bill of Rights?

otessa

Specializes in ER, cardiac, addictions.
This is why I brought the ACLU in on this : the OP stated that "assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients"."

Wouldn't that be a violation of free speech?-one of the first items on ACLU's Bill of Rights?

otessa

Not unless you're being arrested, or fired, for making suggestions. Just complaining about the way American nurses do things isn't a violation of anyone's liberties.

This is unbelieveable. He needs to go home to his own country which is probably in need of physicians. Whatever happened to adapting to the majority culture? If we go to Japan or any other country we respect them and their ways. He needs to do the same and GET A LIFE. This makes me so angry. Is he the same with male nurses? If not then this is sexist and grounds for a lawsuit. Either way your administration should support YOU in this issue.

Specializes in ER, cardiac, addictions.
This is unbelieveable. He needs to go home to his own country which is probably in need of physicians. Whatever happened to adapting to the majority culture? If we go to Japan or any other country we respect them and their ways. He needs to do the same and GET A LIFE. This makes me so angry. Is he the same with male nurses? If not then this is sexist and grounds for a lawsuit. Either way your administration should support YOU in this issue.

It's not always that simple. Even for those who are determined to respect the "ways" of a "majority culture," it takes time to figure out what those "ways" are. It's possible that this doctor's behavior is the result of misconceptions, rather than any intent to force his native culture on American nurses.

This situation harkens back to the time (I'm old so I remember this) when nurses had to stand up & relinquish their chairs when MD's entered the NS.

Eye contact in our country is an affirmation that you are listening and giving the speaker your attention. Maybe this doc needs some explanation/education about how we roll in the USA.

In nursing school I was taught to respect the cultural preferences of my patients, not the Doctors. What a load of crap, if a Doctor thinks I will not step up and say something that will benefit my patient because his culture is unaccepting of it, I have 2 words for him...."TOO BAD" If you don't like it and nurses here offend you....GO HOME!!! and practice medicine there. Maybe the nurses in your own country will be less offensive to you.

Specializes in Psychiatric, MICA.
In the last staff meeting, NM states Dr. A has complained because the female nurses make eye contact with him. We were instructed to respect his (and other doctors) culture and NOT make eye contact or appear assertive. When asked to clarify assertive we were told assertive was "asking or suggesting something for the patients".

Cultural bias does not always equal bigotry. That being said, however, I think somebody probably had to review her response a few times after this. It seems like one of those knee-jerk responses that could have been better phrased!

Were it me (I'm a male, but I have never been able to generate any intellectual support for gender discrimination), I'd probably avoid appearing to be on crusade but otherwise just move forward with quality nursing care. There are bound to be rough spots in any inter-cultural interactions. I may disagree with what was said, but I wouldn't go out of my way to make the NM's or doctor's lifde hell over it. It's far from the most ridiculous stuff I've run into.

It's tiring, I admit. My time on the floor is supposed to be about helping people heal - I'd rather not spend it in social maneuvering. Still, maybe this is a case of nursing care being needed by staff...:).

D

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

Has anyone from this doc's culture (maybe a fellow doc) talked to him about this?

I too have had to deal with this sort of treatment! Recently I went to the asst nsg director and told her I was ready to go back to school. I work for the government and they WOULD HAvE paid my way for BSN etc. She said Great...get your paperwork started so I did,,and got accepted where I wanted to go. Then when I came in to her office on my day off...she called me in and told me they decided NOT to let me go to school at this time because I "didn't listen" when she told me to drop something I felt strongly about, and because I did not listen to a doc when I was told not to send a pt to the ER. The pt thought they were having another stroke...my bad..I covered my butt and the pts...besides they insisted on getting checked out and I knew there was a time limit in which to do so. The doc is foreign...why..in our country...should we have to go by their way!?

As a man, I've always wondered about the insecurities that would make a man "afraid" to look women in the eye when talking to them. I've worked in the past with men of a certain religion and it was the same thing--no eye contact with women. Dudes, man-up!! And women, celebrate the power you must have when men can't handle you looking them in the eye! :p

You need to under stand though that as nurses we do need to be assertive...actually quite often depending on where one is working as a nurse..and if this nurse..like me..has to work with a closed minded doctor..mit makes every work day challenging, negative, if she can't properly advocate for her pts.

True, but it just goes to show a person is not at a higher level of thinking if these foreign people feel the need to inflict their values on us. That would be what... The Concrete Operational stage? Where evrything is black and white and what they believe just HAS to be the 'right' way. Sad...they should test for this in hospitals and then have to have a special colored sticker on their badge to warn the rest of us who have to deal with them lol.

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