How do you deal with rude patients?

Rohan · Sep 26, 2005

I had an encouter this weekend with an ER nurse who managed to calm a very combative and rude patient by talking quieter and quieter so that he had to shut up to hear her. She even managed to get an apology out of him! Unfortunately she got busy elsewhere and rather than restrain him, they didn't want to knock him out because he had head trauma, the doc had me and my sister's BF restrain him for staples and stitches. Ooops...went off on a tangent there! Most of the time I think killing them with kindess works better than getting angry back.

NurCrystal22 · Sep 26, 2005

I am a new nurse, just graduated in May. I am beginning to question whether or not I made the right career choice. The main reason is I cannot stand being yelled at sworn at and basically treated like crap by patients and family members of patients. I also work at the county hospital, so we have to take everyone, so that's part of the problem. However, in all of my clinicals I was never treated so poorly by patients as I am now that I'm a 'real' nurse.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these kind of situations so that you stand up for yourself yet don't come off beligerant or rude back to the patient?

Don't take it personally.

~Crystal

MadisonsMomRN, BSN, RN · Sep 26, 2005

I am a new nurse, just graduated in May. I am beginning to question whether or not I made the right career choice. The main reason is I cannot stand being yelled at sworn at and basically treated like crap by patients and family members of patients. I also work at the county hospital, so we have to take everyone, so that's part of the problem. However, in all of my clinicals I was never treated so poorly by patients as I am now that I'm a 'real' nurse.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these kind of situations so that you stand up for yourself yet don't come off beligerant or rude back to the patient?

Just kill them with kindness. The way I see it is they must be miserable in some aspect of their life to make them act that way. Dont take it personal and just leave work at work. :icon_hug:

needs help · Sep 27, 2005

Rachel, when I first saw your post I knew just what to say. Now after reading all the other posts I'm not sure anymore. You may recognize me from other posts but I am a recently disabled RN that worked with spinal cord injury patients as well as stroke, ortho, cardiac and respiratory patients in a rehab setting. Don't misunderstand though our floor got patients that had been off the ventilator for only 6 hours when they were transferred, so we got them when they were still very sick. Anyway to the rudeness issue. As the charge nurse on my 12 hour shifts when there was a problem between a patient and one of the nurses I ended up taking the patient. Most of the time the "killing them with kindness" routine worked with the alert & oriented patients. When it didn't I was honest with them and told them I was not there to take their abuse. You'd be surprised but I've had more than a few tell me "your here to do whatever I say I'm paying you." To that I respond "no (sir/maam) I'm not here to be a slave or housekeeper, I am here to help you get better and help you lean how to take care of yourself." That usually shut them up for a while. They usually ended up apologizing for their behavior and we ended up talking about their problems during their stay. There was no other behavior problems after that.

Please remember as others have posted--don't take it personally especially when it is a confused patient. (Which I'm sure you don't) Even when the patient is alert & oriented don't take it personally, many (not all) are this way because they are sick.

I was going to comment on this subject from the family point of view but the ER experience still make me so mad. I did not get inappropriate with the staff though, I behaved, even though they refused to consider stroke protocol for my hubby. But another time for that. Please don't leave nursing we can use all the good ones we can get and you definitely sound like one.

BEST OF LUCK RHONDA

Avie · Sep 27, 2005

Nursing has gone too far in the direction of patients rights without giving equal weight to their responsibilities.

I'm English and proud to work for the National Health Service, free at the point of use and giving equal treatment to all but I do think that the sense of entitlement this has led to is not helpful.

It may well be different in insurance-driven healthcare services but in the UK clinical need is still paramount and this is, I think, as it should be.

It does give rise to a good deal of rudeness and aggression from emergency patients made to wait whilst more serious emergencies are dealt with and I put up with this verbal abuse every day I work.

I deal with it by calmly giving the facts and if the ranting and verbal abuse continues then calling 1) the doctor 2) The porters and if it becomes inevitable 3) the police.

None of us should have to tolerate these behaviors.

TweetiePieRN · Sep 27, 2005

Nursing has gone too far in the direction of patients rights without giving equal weight to their responsibilities.
I'm English and proud to work for the National Health Service, free at the point of use and giving equal treatment to all but I do think that the sense of entitlement this has led to is not helpful.
It may well be different in insurance-driven healthcare services but in the UK clinical need is still paramount and this is, I think, as it should be.
It does give rise to a good deal of rudeness and aggression from emergency patients made to wait whilst more serious emergencies are dealt with and I put up with this verbal abuse every day I work.
I deal with it by calmly giving the facts and if the ranting and verbal abuse continues then calling 1) the doctor 2) The porters and if it becomes inevitable 3) the police.
None of us should have to tolerate these behaviors.

Over here in the US (insurance-driven) the sense of entitlement is pretty intense sometimes. I deal with rude patients by smiling at them while talking back. It may sound dumb but it keeps me calm and they think I am actually giving a rat's a$$!! hahaha! When the smiling doesn't help (rarely fails) I will tell them I need to leave the room and will return when they are not going to yell, curse, etc.