Finally a Nurse Manager that does NOT tolerate nurses eating their young. - page 5

by OnlybyHisgraceRN

6,550 Views | 49 Comments

It was a breath of fresh air when I interviewed for a RN internship and the NM told be she does not tolerate bullying or nurses eating their young. My mouth almost dropped as she spoke those words, as I never seen a manager... Read More


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    Quote from mazy
    The red flag is not the question of bullying, it is the issue that it has become such a problem that the NM is laying out a zero tolerance policy in an interview with no real specific information about what that entails.

    I would much rather work with a NM who says "we try to create a supportive, collaborative, and respectful environment for nurses that involves x, y, and z.

    The idea conveyed to the interviewee is that by promoting and rewarding good things, the bad things are going to get addressed appropriately. However fantastical that might be...

    I'll take working in a rewarding environment any day over working in a putative one.

    As for the term "nurses eating their young," for every post that uses that term, there are a dozen posts asking to not use that term. Yes, it is thrown about, but it creates a very negative picture of nurses and nursing, and adds an adversarial tone to conversations that should be about identifying problem behavior rather than identifying problem nurses (usually the old ones munching on the young).

    Let's condemn the behavior and not each other. As your NM seems to be doing -- not a good sign.
    I think you and some other nurses are reading too much into this. How about we can all agree that lateral violence need to be addressed by the higher ups. I don't know this NM or the culture of the unit personally, but it is refreshing to know that there is a zero tolerance.
    I also asked her what do nurses enjoy the most about working on the unit and the response was " We are like family and work as a team" Sometimes NM need to clean house to boost the moral of the unit.
    Over-the-hill-Nurse and lindarn like this.
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    Yeah, they can maybe fire a bully after everyone else documents their collective gluteals off, because things like "tone of voice" are just plain difficult to qualify (apparently) ... then pay severance and wait to fill the position whilst that person files a complaint that she was fired without cause. Said complaint goes on for months.
    And the budget continues to spiral into the drain. Who wins?
  3. 0
    Quote from hey_suz
    Yeah, they can maybe fire a bully after everyone else documents their collective gluteals off, because things like "tone of voice" are just plain difficult to qualify (apparently) ... then pay severance and wait to fill the position whilst that person files a complaint that she was fired without cause. Said complaint goes on for months.
    And the budget continues to spiral into the drain. Who wins?
    This particular NM didn't name specifics. Not sure where people get fired over a tone of voice happens.
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    I had a NM that claimed that this was her stance but what that really meant was she didn't acknowledge relational agression when it did exist and oh boy did it. Having said that if I ever get to NM status this would be my attitude.
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    Maybe one day I'll get bullied so I have something to post about... I might just be sheltered or lucky but I can't say I've experienced bullying or, ugh, young-eating.

    That being said, I agree with previous posts where people stated that it's very subjective. I've been snapped at before, usually for some total bonehead mistake, huffed and fumed about it for awhile, and realized that that nurse was totally right. I only ran and told my NM once and then after I thought about it... I think I made a bigger deal out of it than it actually was. So... ya know... perspective, y'all.
    SHGR, wooh, and pinfinity like this.
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    As a nurse who's been called on the carpet for "bullying" It's been my experience that most new grads are amazingly thin skinned and unteachable. Granted, being male may have played a small part in the issue given that I am also consciensious with my practice and insist on accountability with my preceptees.
    Last edit by pinfinity on Apr 12, '12 : Reason: typos
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    At my orientation lectures this year for my Bachelor of Nursing degree the course coordinator talked about a case where a student was in her first placement at a hospital and was there about 10 minutes and was already being bullied by her nurse supervisor in the hospital. Yelled down the ward at the girl in front of all the staff and patients "I don't know why you bothered to show up I'm going to fail you no matter what." It just happened that the course coordinator was going around visiting the studnets and heard it.

    Needless to say our course coordinator pulled the nurse into a room and had a chat with her. Poor student was in tears and was moved to a different placement.
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    Mine discussed building a good team in my interview. Now that I am three months in, I have found it is true. I love my floor. There's a few crank-butts and honestly it just kind of rotates around - everyone gets a turn at some point. But for the most part there is great team work and happy people who care about what happens to our patients and whether our floor is hitting its goals. So now and then the promises in interviews do hold true.
    tewdles likes this.
  9. 1
    Quote from Esme12
    I have never tolerated it as a manager, but as you become a manager be careful that your enthusiasm isn't misinterpreted as aggression. It is very difficult to change the culture of a department and the only true way is by leading as an example so everyone WANTS to play in the sandbox nicely.
    Word! So much better than the stick approach, because the stick is just so much easier than striving to be what we want to see in others. For the most part I've been very blessed with that type of manager, especially after some of the stuff I've read here! I've only had one job that had a sick pup - "yes girl" duo. Their mission was to destroy people. Truly awful.

    It's a hard line to walk, being firm in your resolve and not being perceived as being a hard @$$. Yet still have good morale and a balanced budget.
    Can we clone you?

    OP - you probably picked something up about this person that showed integrity. It's very hard in an online forum to convey those intangibles - let us know if she walks the walk and good luck!
    tewdles likes this.
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    I am not certain that it is that difficult to seperate an employee guilty of lateral violence. As a manager you don't label the offense, you document the behaviors that are not meeting expectations in the department and document the steps/processes you followed to determine that discharge is required over retraining or other options.

    Certainly if working in a unionized situation the process differs, but management still has authority to release professionals who do not meet behavioral expectations.


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