I'm about halfway through my NICU orientation and I'm not having a great time with it. It took a lot to get this position (long story) and I don't want to lose it by my management thinking it's "not a good fit".
I've never worked NICU or any icu before and I'm having trouble catching on to everything and sometimes I feel like my preceptor thinks "why isn't this girl getting this by now?" I've had a few bad days and looked miserable and she told my charge nurse she thinks I don't want to be there. (great.)
I pulled my manager into the office to talk to her about it, I DO want to be there, I'm just frustrated that I'm forgetting things and I feel like my preceptor is bothered by me and I can't always ask her questions, or i ask the same questions too much. I don't want them thinking I don't want to be there because I do, it's just a hard transition and the last thing I want to hear is that I'm not a good fit for their unit and they are going to have to let me go...
my director told me they have 6 weeks invested and not to worry because I'm not going anywhere, and my charge nurse told me not to worry about my position, but I can't help but worry. I hope I did enough damage control to convince them I truly want this.
I've thought about changing preceptors but I'm not sure if switching that up in the middle would be a bad thing or would be helpful or not. Any advice on that frontier?
My charge nurse said I'm not being proactive enough in my downtime and that looks like I don't want to be there. I'm really just inside my head trying not to forget anything and trying not to make my preceptor mad. I guess i have to run around the unit constantly to look like I'm being proactive and want to be there?
So I'm looking for any and all advice on how to get through this orientation and to make them see that I DO want to be there, it's been my dream since starting nursing school and I still can't believe that I have the chance to do it...I just feel like I could lose it at any minute now. How to I show that I'm proactive and retaining what they are teaching and how do I be super bubbly and excited on the outside when I'm kind of overwhelmed and nervous and freaking out on the inside? Because showing how I'm feeling hasn't done anything good for me...
And is there any literature or any books I could get to read about at home? I know I have to study again even though I'm out of school because I know nothing about NICU and I don't want to lose this.