I graduated with my BSN in May and have been working on a Level III NICU since June. I got out of orientation about a month ago and I think I've already burned out. During orientaiton, my preceptor and I ended up with the sickest kids. Sometimes we'd have two babies that 5 min into our shift we would realize they should be 2 one-on-ones. Once orientation was over, our educator told us that while they wouldn't go "easy" on us, they would make an effort not to give us the really sick, really difficult kids to start with.
In my first 6 shifts I got 5 bad admissions and 1 transfer. 5th admission, I got a call on my day off saying we're really sorry things have worked out like this. We don't want to lose you. We've talked about it and we're really going to make an effort not to do that to you again. My next shift, I got yet another admission. When I let the person who called me know, her answer was well I guess you've just been targeted huh.
Even on days since that I have just had a difficult assignment, I can't get any help. I sometimes get lunch at 3p (I work 7a-7:30p) if I"m lucky. I had 3 SCREAMING kids yesterday and people just kept getting mad at me for them crying. I was standing in the middle of the room just wanting to join them and cry too.
I always feel like I'm behind. I always feel like I give a crappy report. I hate leaving things for the next nurse to do. I like my beds to be neat and restocked so the oncomming night RN doesn't have to look for things, but I just don't feel like I'm able to do that.
Is this burnout? I've honestly considering going to like Best Buy or something and applying. I just feel like I can't do this and that I made a huge mistake going into nursing.
Is there anything I can do? Is this just part of my "first year get your feet under you"? I don't know that at this rate I"ll last a year...