How do you deal with female patients?

Nurses Men

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I am a student currently working as a Nurse Tech...I often encounter females who are apprehensive about receiving care from me...a male. I am starting to dread day shift...it seems I keep getting the 70 year old ladies that are like "Are you kidding?"

How do you deal with this? The next shift is less then happy when I tell them that only Mr. John Doe got a bath today.

I respect the patient's wishes. Every once in a while I get a woman who won't let a man be her nurse. Much more often a female patient is okay with having a male nurse as long as he is not the one bathing or doing anything that would require disrobing. There is nothing that you can do other than respect the patient. If they are uncomfortable with you then you will have to hand it over to someone that they are more comfortable with. Usually female coworkers understand this but every now and then you get one that acts like you are pushing it off onto them. This issue is dealt with primarily by male nurses so sometimes women won't understand. I would suggest that if you do have to go get someone else to help you out that you try to repay them by helping with one of their patients. If they continue to give you hell about something that is out of your hands I would ask them if they know of a better way of handling the situation.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

There is a lengthy discussion of some of these issues in the Male Nurses/Female patients thread, so you might find some help there. Patients do have a right to refuse to let you bathe them, so you're kinda stuck, but there are ways to cope. Right off: do you work with female techs, who may have males who need bathed? You might be able to swap some baths. Or even just team up--you help them with the ones who are hard to turn, and they help you with the personal parts of yours.

There's a school of thought that if you present yourself in a professional manner and behave as though you've done this a thousand times and it's all perfectly normal, patients will respond accordingly. I am sure there's some truth to that, but I usually find I do better with a more honest approach: this is a bit awkward for me, too, but we are adults and if we (the pt and I) work together, we can get through it with a minimum of embarrassment. I also work from less personal to more personal, and keep the patient as covered as possible. It isn't always necessary to see what you're bathing (depending, of course, on whether there are dressings, etc.)

So, a modest bath could go: face, arms, legs below the knee, back (with the bottom covered), chest and abdomen (under a sheet or towel), and peri care. Then bed change and clean gown--and if you have to pass the chest and pericare off to day shift, at least most of the work is done.

Of course, if the pt is wet or soiled, or needs to toilet, that can't be left for the next shift. So you may have to get help from a female tech or nurse, but my experience has been that comfort trumps modesty when a male is available now instead of waiting for a female.

Finally, and this is tricky: you have to find a balance between being sensitive and being assertive. If you haven't already, you probably will find that even some males need to be "pushed" a little into getting a bath. Modesty aside, it's often just not that comfortable to be turned and washed. A patient with recent back surgery, or many other complaints, would probably rather just lie there, and maybe even get some sleep, than have you torture them with a bath. You can't force or coerce them, but sometimes you have to encourage them--gently, respectfully, but persistently. Some experienced aides I've worked with are a bit more pushy than I'm comfortable with, but I have no problem telling a pt. "We have to get this done. If you aren't comfortable with me, I'll find someone else to help you, but we can't just skip it..." Usually I get an "Oh, all right, then."

Good luck. And, hey, for what it's worth, you may be paving the way for some male nurse who'll be caring for the same patient, someday. So don't mess up.

I appreciate your detailed response...I am very concerned about my performance, reputation and my affect on the future of men in nursing...All this swishing around in my head particualary at bath time. :)

My floor has 38 beds -- last week we had 34 patients, 4 nurses and 2 techs. The techs split the patient load. It's tough getting help and often patients are not receiving the care they should...I am still looking for my "Balance". Thanks again.

Hi Sal,

Mike gave you some wonderful advice. Older, younger, middle-age-

patients, they all respond to a calm, kind, professional attitude. I am sure with a little more experience, and your committment to doing a good job, you will be posting some wonderfully funny, sweet, insightful and touching posts soon. Have a blessed day.

Remember, most of us ladies, think you guys are doing a great job.

Specializes in ICU.

Sal,

I echo nursemike's sentiments. It will be a challenge for you for the remainder of your career. Maintain your professionalism and never, ever take it personally. Remember it's all about the pt's comfort level. If your cannot convince your pt otherwise, then simply respect their wishes, thank them for their honesty and continue on with your day.

From one male nurse to another, keep your chin up.

Best of luck.

Specializes in E.R. Peds, PICU, CCU,.

Sal,

nursemike nailed it.

If I was to add anything, or anything that I feel helped me, was to loose any apprehensions about being a male in healthcare. I don't go to work thinking I'm a male nurse, I go to work KNOWING I am an RN, I received the same education, had to pass the same exams as the female RN's. I'm a nurse by choice, I'm male by default.

When you enter the room to do your job act professional, look at how your female co-workers handle the same situations that are reversed, act accordingly.

For me it always worked out.. For every female pt that preferred a female care provider, there would be a male pt who was being a pig to the female staff. In these cases it was a no-brainer, I would readily take any of these types. I also wouldn't allow them to talk to me about my coworkers that way.

It's all about confidence and competence, you need both to do your job effectively. You have to work to gain each, it doesn't matter what your gender is. An incompetent nurse is an incompetent nurse, it doesn't matter what their confidence in their abilities are. A confident and conscious nurse, usually becomes a very competent nurse.

It's a long road to hike on.

Just remember to hang in there... Because hanging out of there is pretty embarrassing.

Specializes in ER, Renal Dialysis.

In some ways, I found it hard to be a nurse who is a male trying to do his job like every other people.

For one part, I discover that for any procedures that is deemed sensitive and personal where a bit of modesty is exposed, I will need to be accompanied by another female. Most of the time, another female nursing aide will need to be with me. This is very inconvenient for me - not only I took away another staff from doing her job but... I am also dependent on other people to do my job. Now most of this are legal and for safety issues at most.

I was not taught about this in nursing school, where I think I should since maybe I was the only male there? All that I knew was gained from experience.

Most of the procedures that requires me and a 'guardian' involves-

1- doing ECG

2 - female catheterization

* Just my advice - although may sounds a bit stupid, I dont advise any of you trying to locate all the leads position just as the manual says. Imagine how it will appear to the patient if you are trying to locate the 5th intercostal space, midclavicular line, mid-axillary and stuff... Most of the time I just place the leads by memory and try to run the graphs and see if the reading is good. And I have NO EXPERIENCE of any patient rejecting me either. Just be professional, do a bit of talking, and do not stare at the thing!!!

I do miss certain things like when the doctor needs to check the OS of a pregnant women that came to ER. But so do some male patient that can allow male nurse within the same room - usually STD related problems.

But yeah, we do have limitations and advantages.

Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

Hey, I hear all the advice up here and more....Usually, I go into work with the attitude of "I'm here to care and be your hands-on front line care giver today"....After report (and lately I've been getting 12/13 patients per tech, etc.) I try to break down all the tasks I have to do...including baths....

The only people who have to get a bath on nights are the Total care patients...usually so confused or down so far in medical status they really don't care about getting a bath. If a female has a problem with me, and says so, I ALWAYS run it past my nurse for that patient and say "hey, so and so doesn't want me to wash her up right now....I'll work on it, but just letting you know."

However, if they are soiled, wet, smell, etc...then I will do what I have to(change sheets, wash front/back, change gowns, etc....) such is life....I work with really good people who always help.

Some nights, though, You're just SO busy that you can't do it. So, I generally refuse to give someone a bath at 11PM if they're finally sleeping or just want me to leave them alone...then we go into "if we need to" mode.

Days at least gets some downtime when rehab people go to their groups or work on their exercises, or sleep. Then they can do completes...no option for nights when there is nothing for patients to do while we try to complete priority tasks...

Just always go in, and be professional, talk to patients and their families like they deserve to be spoken to.....and have a few humorous lines you can use to break the ice....my personal fave on walking into a bunch of visitors around the room "Ok, this is just like performing medicine in Vegas! I should be more of a showman...." or what's your B/p? Congratulations, you win a lopressor! etc....just trying to make things a little different from the usual, "here's a pill, let's clean you up, just relax, etc..."

GL and let us know if things get better....and don't take it personally...it happens sometimes....

Why is it that male patient's don't get the same respect and privacy

as female patients get. Do a search on this site.

Whoa...inappropriate and the continuation

Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

mr. normandy...I treat all of my patients the same REGARDLESS of age/sex/race, etc....I'm a nursing student and a CNA for the same reason I'm going to be a RN...I care....

Locolorenzo22

I'm sure you do as well as many male nurses on this forum. Perhaps I should have been more specific. I agree with you as

a male caregiver. So many female nurses think that male nurses are predators of some sort. I'm just offering my experience as a male patient regarding female caregivers.Keep up the good work.

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