So sorry, Sadie.
A couple of ideas--I am not certain--you are probably more up on this than I am--but isn't the same blood type just a very small part of tissue typing? Aren't there other factors that might have made your cousin's kidney incompatible with you, and likely to be rejected? That is, a poor match?
I am betting that your cousin had Hepatitis (probably C) as well, if she was a drug abuser--that alone would have made her kidney unusable for transplant.
I think the doctor was probably trying to be as kind as possible, and leaving her mother with only good memories of your cousin (her daughter) by not elaborating on the whys of incompatibility.
I pray that you get your donor. We all proved incompatible donors for my own cousin--and then, her lifelong best friend from high school (they are both in their late 40s now) got tested--on a whim--and was a perfect match! My cousin got her new kidney from her last year, and is doing great.
Last edit by stevierae on Mar 22, '05