Concerns as a male nursing student

cfrimer · Feb 17, 2006

Hi all,
I'm a 25 yr old male. I'm married, and I'm in my second yr of pre-reques for nursing-I had to start from remedials. I have worked and been in and out of college since school. I finally decided on nursing, as my wife is a nurse and I have a lot of respect for her and what she does. Plus, I love the idea of being able to work anywhere in the world. I am also fascinated by the scientific side of the schooling.
My only problem is that I'm very shy. Dealing with patients is going to be a big challenege for me. Hell I have a hard enough time in class being surrounded by girls/women. I'm pretty much an introvert. I'm friendly enough, and I do believe I will be an affective nurse. I'm just quiet u know. Most of the classes I've started this semester require group involvement, working in groups etc. and I'm nervous about it but willing to do it. I'm also starting a CNA course in March to help get some patient experience.
I guess I just wanted to know if any other guys out there felt the same at all or had any advice.
Thanks for reading.

Hi there,

I'm not a guy, nor am I (yet) a nurse, but I'm planning to start NP school in the summer and I characterize myself as an introvert, too.

I've found that my problem is very different depending on whethe I'm in a service-providing relationship (eg, I'm interacting with customers or patients on a professional level) versus a collegial relationship (eg, I'm interacting with peers on a personal level). When I'm in a professional role, I find that I go into "acting" mode and can fake a more extroverted personality. I've been a waitress and a bookseller, and I never have trouble interacting with customers. Also, I've volunteered with hospice patients, and had the same experience interacting with them and their families. It's like it's somehow not personal. The role is well defined and I know what I'm supposed to do and how I'm supposed to behave. It's not that I don't become engaged with the other people or share my personality... it's that it somehow doesn't feel like I'm being personally evaluated.

When it's just me with my co-workers, it's a bit of a different story; I feel shyer and it's less easy for me to interact. I think it's because I can't hide within the role, because there isn't really a specific role to play.

So I guess my point is that you might find that when you are in the professional role, you will inexplicably find yourself acting in the way that you know "nurses" are supposed to act around their "patients"... even if this is a totally different way from the way "you" act around "other people" and even if "you"="nurse" and "other people" = "patients." If that makes any sense. (??)

Good luck and don't give up!

K98 · Feb 24, 2006

i'm worried a bit that no one will want to be my lab partner because i'ma guy. and by labs i mean learning the clinical skills etc...

The young ladies in my class were always pleased to have some heavy lift capability present :).

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2006

By the way: I was the MOST demanded person for labs.

Our skills labs assessed skills. We drew lots and if you picked "Chest" you had to do the Breast Self Exam.

Naturally on a guy, this is far easier (and less awkward) than on a female.

Guess my "lack of boobs" does have it's advantages after all :p :p

Shaneomac · Mar 14, 2006

lol

Mito · Mar 16, 2006

You must get past the shy part of personality and get on with the job. Your wife must have given you some indication of what nurses do on a daily basis. You must be comfortable with female/male anatomy with various fluids and/or substances present. Take the advice you got earlier and work as a CNA and see if you can manage the job, if you can't well you know sooner rather than later.

I don't want to sound harsh but this can be a very demanding profession and if you can't do it, then admit to yourself and move on.

Mito RN

2dCareer · Mar 16, 2006

Dude!

What's there to be afraid of?

Don't worry about what you think of yourself (self conscious or narcissistic - take your pick) , whether your breath is coffee'd up, or if your deodorant is still active... just be yourself, be who you are!

When you go into a patient's room, it's not time to be a shrinking violet or wall flower. You've got a job to do and you gotta' do it well. Whether it's vital or comfort... give it your best. When you do, you'll know it, and so will everyone else - patients and students.

You didn't consider a career in nursing because you didn't care. You do care and want to make a difference. And the best part is that you CAN!

Personally, I think "group work" stinks, because of procrastinators, lazy folk and other such nonsense. It's not that I mind working in a group/team. It's just those who don't or won't cooperate that make things difficult. But, there are people like that in every walk of life from the garbage man to the top executive levels.

There'll be times you'll work your hiney off and miss some much deserved sleep. But enduring, you'll be glad you toughed it out.

Imagine having to demonstrate or teach a Breast Self Exam, or a Testicular Self Exam... at one time or another you're going to be asked a question by someone who needs and wants to know that information. You're going to be able to help prevent a loss of life or the spread of disease. You're going to help in healing processes. You're going to be a hero.

Do you think Superman wondered if his tights were too tight?

deaners · Mar 21, 2006

I would have to agree, I never had a problem pairing up with women for lab. There are 7 guys in my class and none of us pair up for our lab assignments. Most guys are basically the same so for me it was an advantage to work with women and see the differences. The only advice I would want to give you though is to make sure that you tell the woman what it is you are going to do and where you will be touching them for the assessments. (you should do this with ALL patients, but especially with women so that they are prepared and not taken by surprise) Also, it just makes them much more comfortable with the whole thing.....

bluedemon · Apr 3, 2006

Sorry for gate crashing..... But I just want to help....

Gone where the days when nursing is considered a womens profession. Being a nurse doesnt mean doing a womans work-plain.... It means having to do hard jobs like turning an obese comatose patient every 30 minutes. If it is a purely womans job, imagine how would we do that if the patients weight is trice heavier than ours.

Your shyness over working in a profession that is considered to be dominated by women, is understandable. I have guy friends who also felt the same way like you do. But in the end they were able to fit in with the crowd.

If you are such an introvert as you say, I suggest that you should be more friendlier... How? First get close to 1 woman on your class that you think is off the same level as you, talk about anything-lectures, your wife and so on. Next if you feel at ease ask her to introduce you to some of her closest friends in class then everytime your class go on for a lunch break hang out with them. Its not easy at first to summon all the confidence and courage to start a conversation but believe me when you do it and did it it will be worth it.