Please share with me your experiences with this....

*LA* · Apr 12, 2005

Ok, well, here goes.
m new here. I actually found this site when I was looking for "white nurses clogs". I googled that phrase and a journal from this site came up. ( Im going back to work soon, after being home for 4 yrs and am nervous about it, so while i was here, I posted in the OR section, if anyone has any tips, feel free to share them there on my thread. thanks)
Anyway, here goes
long story short, my mother was given 6 months (Ca).
she was NOT religious woman, in fact, she sort of made fun of people who were devout.
well, it had been 5 days since she was released from the hospital, to go home and etc.....
she wasnt ale to walk so she was in bed.
well, that day, she was very lucid and making perfect sense. I was waiting for a delivery (pain meds) from the pharmacy and worried that she would be in pain. she wasnt complaining. she was very clear headed. I was in the other room when she screamed for me to "get in here this minute". when I went into he room, she insisted that I "get rid of that man right now" (she was very angry. she went on to tell me that he refused to leave and she wouldnt have a strange man in her room. there was no one in there. she was sooo insistant and so clear headed that I actually thought that someone has maybe broken in, knowing we had strong pain meds in the house etc etc
well, this went on and on all day long, and each time that I went into her room, she was having a definate conversation with someone?? she actually seemed to be listenning and would stop and them respond "no, Im not going anywhere, I dont know you and you dont tell me what to do anyway"
I was actually getting scared because she seemd so insistent and coherant.
Ok, so the end of the day, she tells my sister that "this man here is telling me that if I go with him, I wont be in pain anymore" ( she had metastatic breast ca). then she calls me in and say to me, "here take this, its a check for your borthday and I want you to have it" (my birthday was the next day). that week she had been given 6 months and I told her that she could give it to me herself tomorrow.
So, went to bed.
when we went in her room the next morning, she was gone.
I am STILL trying to make sense of what went on that last day and I dont have an explanation.
Has anyone ever heard of anything like this happenning before?
I still dont know what to make of it.
thanks
LA
ps I am not crazy, cross my heart

sorry about all the typo's. I excel at them :)

leslie :-D · Apr 12, 2005

hallucinations are very very common w/the dying patient; often i wonder if they are hallucinations.

i've had dozens and dozens of patients of talking to the ceiling- yet they were comforted because they were family members that had passed.

when you speak of your mom not being religious and seeing that strange man, my first thought was that it was Christ beckoning your mother to come along with Him....

but also, yes the ca could have spread to her brain; it could have been the meds- who knows?

my point being is many of these pts i mentioned had not been medicated nor on any meds. it's just one of those dying phenomenons that a hospice nurse sees quite frequently.

leslie

*LA* · Apr 12, 2005

hallucinations are very very common w/the dying patient; often i wonder if they are hallucinations.
i've had dozens and dozens of patients of talking to the ceiling- yet they were comforted because they were family members that had passed.
when you speak of your mom not being religious and seeing that strange man, my first thought was that it was Christ beckoning your mother to come along with Him....
but also, yes the ca could have spread to her brain; it could have been the meds- who knows?
my point being is many of these pts i mentioned had not been medicated nor on any meds. it's just one of those dying phenomenons that a hospice nurse sees quite frequently.
leslie

I didnt realize that others had had this happen also. it was strange though, she just seemed more lucid than she had been ina week.

it was just a very bizarre epxerience.

ps thanks for replying, appreciate it

sbic56, BSN, RN · Apr 12, 2005

LA

Boy, your story could have been about my mother before she died!! She, too, was not religious. She had colon cancer and had stopped communicating to us for about a day when she suddenly started talking to someone. My sister and I watched as she had this very long and coherent converstation with this unseen being. The converstation included many parts of her life, kind of like a biography. She would talk, then pause, nod and listen, sometimes smiling. It was almost as if she were at some type of interview. It was an experience that I will never forget. Not being religious myself, I can't say it was god or anything like that, but it was definitely surreal. Neither would I write it off as a hallucination. Shortly after this, mom went into coma and died peacefully within the next 24 hours or so. Hearing your story, I wonder just how common this is. I have sat with many who have rambled incoherently on their deathbed, but what we experienced is something very diferent from that, as you know!

*LA* · Apr 12, 2005

LA
Boy, your story could have been about my mother before she died!! She, too, was not religious. She had colon cancer and had stopped communicating to us for about a day when she suddenly started talking to someone. My sister and I watched as she had this very long and coherent converstation with this unseen being. The converstation included many parts of her life, kind of like a biography. She would talk, then pause, nod and listen, sometimes smiling. It was almost as if she were at some type of interview. It was an experience that I will never forget. Not being religious myself, I can't say it was god or anything like that, but it was definitely surreal. Neither would I write it off as a hallucination. Shortly after this, mom went into coma and died peacefully within the next 24 hours or so. Hearing your story, I wonder just how common this is. I have sat with many who have rambled incoherently on their deathbed, but what we experienced is something very diferent from that, as you know!

thats EXACTLY how it went ! the talking, then the pauses....

I really hadnt heard of this before (but they dont talk about this stuff in the OR)

Im glad to know that there are others

it was just, and thats the perfect word, "surreal"

you know what though, my thinking chnaged a bit after I "saw this".

its strange, isnt it

sbic56, BSN, RN · Apr 13, 2005

thats EXACTLY how it went ! the talking, then the pauses....
I really hadnt heard of this before (but they dont talk about this stuff in the OR)
Im glad to know that there are others
it was just, and thats the perfect word, "surreal"
you know what though, my thinking chnaged a bit after I "saw this".
its strange, isnt it

Witnessing my mom's experience convinced me something very special was going on. Not sure what, but I feel fortunate to have been there when it happened. There is so much that we don't know!

*LA* · Apr 13, 2005

Witnessing my mom's experience convinced me something very special was going on. Not sure what, but I feel fortunate to have been there when it happened. There is so much that we don't know!

I totally agree

hey, thanks for sharing that

*LA* · Apr 13, 2005

I totally agree

hey, thanks for sharing that

angel's assistant · Apr 13, 2005

Ok, well, here goes.
m new here. I actually found this site when I was looking for "white nurses clogs". I googled that phrase and a journal from this site came up. ( Im going back to work soon, after being home for 4 yrs and am nervous about it, so while i was here, I posted in the OR section, if anyone has any tips, feel free to share them there on my thread. thanks)
Anyway, here goes
long story short, my mother was given 6 months (Ca).
she was NOT religious woman, in fact, she sort of made fun of people who were devout.
well, it had been 5 days since she was released from the hospital, to go home and etc.....
she wasnt ale to walk so she was in bed.
well, that day, she was very lucid and making perfect sense. I was waiting for a delivery (pain meds) from the pharmacy and worried that she would be in pain. she wasnt complaining. she was very clear headed. I was in the other room when she screamed for me to "get in here this minute". when I went into he room, she insisted that I "get rid of that man right now" (she was very angry. she went on to tell me that he refused to leave and she wouldnt have a strange man in her room. there was no one in there. she was sooo insistant and so clear headed that I actually thought that someone has maybe broken in, knowing we had strong pain meds in the house etc etc
well, this went on and on all day long, and each time that I went into her room, she was having a definate conversation with someone?? she actually seemed to be listenning and would stop and them respond "no, Im not going anywhere, I dont know you and you dont tell me what to do anyway"
I was actually getting scared because she seemd so insistent and coherant.
Ok, so the end of the day, she tells my sister that "this man here is telling me that if I go with him, I wont be in pain anymore" ( she had metastatic breast ca). then she calls me in and say to me, "here take this, its a check for your borthday and I want you to have it" (my birthday was the next day). that week she had been given 6 months and I told her that she could give it to me herself tomorrow.
So, went to bed.
when we went in her room the next morning, she was gone.
I am STILL trying to make sense of what went on that last day and I dont have an explanation.
Has anyone ever heard of anything like this happenning before?
I still dont know what to make of it.
thanks
LA
ps I am not crazy, cross my heart

What you discribe is what Hospice nurses call Near Death Awarness.

angel's assistant · Apr 13, 2005

What you discribe is what Hospice nurses call Near Death Awarness (NDA). This happens quite often during the dying process. Usually though pts talk with their loved ones that have died. They also try and get afairs completed. Sometimes it is misdiagnosed as confusion. What a wonderful GIFT you all have given your family members to share such an intimate time with them.

sbic56, BSN, RN · Apr 13, 2005

What you discribe is what Hospice nurses call Near Death Awarness (NDA). This happens quite often during the dying process. Usually though pts talk with their loved ones that have died. They also try and get afairs completed. Sometimes it is misdiagnosed as confusion. What a wonderful GIFT you all have given your family members to share such an intimate time with them.

Yes, it is wonderful to be able to share this time with a loved one. I didn't know there was a "name" for this, but of course there has to be one. Somehow giving it a name seems to imply we understand it. Not saying you are saying that, angel, just that by terming it, that's implied. As you know, it's an amazing process that really can't be fully understood!