Help my Pop

[dblducex2]

My Pop remarried after his 1st wife died and they made a promise to each other not to put them away (nursing home or hospice facility) when they got bad. However, his new wife is not honoring that promise. His health is not great, but he is not terminal. He has a catheter, but can go to the potty (most of the time) on his own. He can also feed himself. He does need help getting in and out of a car and can't be left alone in case he falls (which he has 2 times on her watch). We tell her every day that if she needs a break, that me and my partner will gladly come and sit with him and take care of his needs. When he left the physical rehap in January, the DR. ordered a caretaker to come to the house regularly to help her out and she refused. (They have money but she is a tight wad and wants it all to herself. She is now going to the DR. today to get him on board with putting him in a hospice facility. This is wrong in so many ways. 1st she made a promise to him. 2nd- this will kill him and 3rd there is no reason why a nurse or sitter cannot come to the house and help out. She leaves him in the car (80 degrees outside) with the car turned off so she can run errands. He had the door open this past time at Walmart because it was so hot. He could have fallen over or been hit by a car. We asked him recently if he wanted to go to a home and he said "hell NO"!! Is there anything we can do or even though she has his power of attorney, can he refuse to go? Thanks in advance.

[AmyRN303, BSN, RN]

Per terms of service, we cannot offer medical or legal advice on this forum. As a daughter, however, I'd seek out advice from both a lawyer and his doctor if dad has given consent for you to do so. I wish you all the best.

[dianah, ASN]

Agree with AmyRN303 re: seeking an attorney's and your dad's MD's advice for a very frustrating and painful situation.

I wish you all the best.