-Am i in some denial?
-Can I be going nuts?
-Is there something I can be doing to make things better in addition to trusting God's timing and plans toward my situation?
-Is it nursing doing this to me, or mid life crisis?
-What in the world is happening to me mentally/physically/emotionally?
-Do i need to change or something?
-How long till i stop feeling like this?
If anyone can answer at least one of the questions above, that would be great.
I am approaching one year in nursing, eager to blast out of this state of arogance, where I am alone and secluded coming from NYC to a place of farms and rednecks. Nursing? hmm, not a fan of sick folks, let alone arogant ones. Know how the situation is like? Like Someone who lived their whole life in miami florida, beautiful sun, happy people, then has to live in Alaska with eskimos kind of situation. Lord knows I am out of my element COMPLETLY, and I am in conflict with everything and everyone around me. May not be nursing, probably just where I am practicing nursing,
My spiritual faith should be holding me intact while im here, but sometimes often times, i just feel like it fails me, or i fail holding on to it perhaps. Its real difficult graciously doing something everyday when you feel so trapped. I need an intervention, something to do to make my situation progress, because all i feel is that i am sitting around miserable yet faithfull waiting for God to change things, As if although I am waiting, i should be actively doing something, but feeling like Im not waiting on God's plan, but trying to take matters in to my hands. Wow Im distressed completely, i cant even think straight.