Welcome to the Stress Management Forum!

[SmilingBluEyes]

Conceived/created by our very own Marla, (mjrln97), this is a forum designed to provide a discussion area and opportunities for our members to talk about and cope with the stresses of nursing, student life and just our lives in general. We all know how stressful life can be for nurses, students and people trying to "juggle it all" and stay sane!

Please, remember to respect one another here as in all the other forums, and observe our Terms of Service when posting/starting threads here.

More information and guidance will be coming from Marla, who will be in charge of managing the forum..

Meantime, please feel free to enjoy it and talk to each will be welcome here. Looking forward to hearing from you and working things out together!

Deb,

Co-Moderator, Health and Stress Management 101 Forum

[Babs0512]

Molly, I too have had similar experiences with my nurse manager. It seems I can do nothing right. As part of my position, I must take call one night per week and every 6th weekend. About two years ago, my grandson became so ill with RSV that they were considering intubation. This was a weekend I was on call. Having worked in the ER for 8 years, and my hubby is an EMT, we were really afraid we were going to lose him. They were transferring him to another hospital with a neonatal ICU. This was a night that I was on call, so I called my boss to tell her I was unable to take call that night as I had to go with my family to this other hospital to keep tract of my grandson. This was 2 years ago, she still brings it up EVERY evaluation - how I miss call at key times. Trust me, try not to take it personally. It can create a hostile work environment. I try to do my job and mind my own business. I say good morning - but my boss won't answer back. Once I said to her, as we were alone in the stairwell, and I had said good morning and she didn't respond - "Jean", your attitued is a large contributing factor to the moral in this department. She just looked at me and walked away. I felt better sticking up for myself. Hang in there. Nurses really do eat their young - your boss is looking our for him/her self and trying to keep costs low - everyone of us is expendable. Good luck, and keep your chin up.

[oobie]

hi everyone..

first time to drop by and read this forum.. im having a great time learning from you all... its great to have overwhelming support from everyone..

im a new grad a few years back and just finished my first year in the real world of nursing... sometimes, when the going gets tough, im thinking if i can do this job for how long...

and when i see you guys working for 20 to 30 years in this job... all i can say is.. whew! you are a real nurse toughie!

so, im learning and living and doing my best to enjoy one day at a time..

thanks everyone..

[psigrl]

Dear Mollie,

Please don't be discouraged. I am a dynamic nurse who has managed units, yet I left my last job like a wounded puppy because my supervisor scared me senseless! Why? Who knows? She just reminded me of my mother many decades ago. She intimidated me for some reason and I just couldn't hold my confidence. I applaud you for staying at that job for 10 whole years!! You sound like a very kind person and it really seems you tried your best. The next person who hires you will be very fortunate to have you. You'll hurt for a while, but the clouds will lift and you'll begin to remember who you are. It's hard out there, but we are all in this together and you are going to be fine. I just know it.

[ninskie]

i think that stress affects one person depends on how one perceives it.

having positive thinking and clear mind at work place makes one...

stress free!

[MADHAT6]

Ten years is a long time in nursing,be proud that you have been a nurse that long,you may find that you need a change and will be much happier after adjusting to the change,instead of seeing this as a negative see it as a way out,there is someplace out there that needs you and is just waiting for you to come along,try a weekend option,or a lifestyle center,something that will help you and give you time to recharge!good luck !

[finn11707]

i am dismayed to find this forum now and see that it has been around for some time with only an occasional post...go figure.

as i read through posts in other threads, i note lots of comments that indicate nurse burnout and stress. i am not sure why we hesitate to engage directly in a thread to support this very real part of the nursing culture. it certainly affects us all in various ways; and the care we give.

i am glad to have found nursing some 30+ years ago. it has not been all easy, though. i also have been through periods where i took breaks to refresh myself or search for another job. or moved to find a more supportive organization to work with. or went back to school to avoid working. or took abilities and interests tests to find another career possibility.

here is what i think. usually, we have chosen nursing from the self realization that we like to help people and ease suffering. also, we have heard this is a good job for women as it allows us to choose from a variety of hours, length of work weeks while making a fair income and coming and going as we must when we are caring for our families. also, there is the benefit that nursing offers endless variety in specialty focuses. however, i believe, on a deeper level, when we choose a profession which helps others--we hold an underlying realization helping other helps us also in some way.

here is where the hard part comes. our profession forces us to be a (professional) part of what most people find to be the hidden or intimate parts of their lives. we journey with them through sometimes unspeakable horror; bound by confidentiality, doctor's orders, organizational policies, time constraints and professional vows which have no consideration for the emotional toll it take on us as feeling human beings. we are, in various ways chastised if we admit the emotional weight of our profession. how many times have we heard inuendos about lack of competency towards someone who is struggling to face the emotional component of our job?

perhaps our silence is a fragile awareness..."there but go i..."? perhaps it is developed callousness in effort to survive one's own career...perhaps it is anger that has developed in response to a culture which does not support its own...

nursing shortage??? rather nursing burnout. i am not sure why there are not studies on to focus on factors which create and maintain negative nursing culture. perhaps one day someone will take it on...

i believe, a career in nursing can be deeply rewarding-- both professionally and personally. everything is there to bring us to great awareness about the human experience and give us opportunity to grow in wisdom and compassion. yes, it is hard work. we must speak out to what matters most in our work. it applies to us too!!! commitment to helping others, easing pain and suffering. compassion that respects others as individuals and allows for the differences in each human being. responsibility to address ethical concerns and what we see that may undermine the integrity of our profession. by doing so we will find or voices and our hearts again.

many have lost themselves in the requirements of their nursing careers, not knowing how to acknowledge or speak to what is missing and heal. we distance from ourself and each other. it cripples us. i believe our profession could be so much more than it is if we could figure this out and learn how to better respect and support each other. we each have so much to offer. it is what brought us to nursing.

the time will come

when with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

for those who feel what i have described, this is for you. heal. your sadness and discontent with nursing is key to the strength within that will heal you. the culture of the nursing profession has betrayed you.

"the time will come

when with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here, eat.

you will love again the stranger who was yourself.

give wine. give bread. give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your image from the mirror.

sit. feast on your life."

by derek walcott

[nurseaboveboard]

Hello and best wishes to all suffering from overdrive. My no cost stress busters are as follows: 1. Exercise! Never once have I finished my exercise and said, "I wish I hadn't done that." I always feel good about it. If you are overweight and/or sedentary, start slowly, even 10 minute increments, and work your way up, but pick a small goal, something achievable. Doesn't matter what, just start! Walk in your house, walk your stairs, whatever. You do not even have to go out, nor do you need equipment. This part is important...put a sticker, or just draw a smiley on your wall calander each time you do it. You will be surprised how quickly they add up, and you will not like to see dates without them, they're just so happy, and they represent progress! 2. When you are out and about, look for people doing good jobs and tell them so. You will surprise them, and surprise yourself at their response. 3. Do something for someone else, hold the door for them with a smile, let them in line before you, make it your job to lift up another individual. There are so many more simple things you can do. These are such stressful times for so many people right now. I think small things can and do make a difference.

[sirI, MSN, APRN, NP]

I am dismayed to find this forum now and see that it has been around for some time with only an occasional post...go figure.

Since it's inception in March of 2006, there have been literally hundreds and hundreds of posts made in this forum and thousands of individuals viewing threads.

The Healthier Living Thread alone is now part 5 due to it's overwhelming interest with over 875 posts and over 21,000 views: Healthier Living Thread Part V

[shortlittleRN]

I am dismayed to find this forum now and see that it has been around for some time with only an occasional post...go figure.

As I read through posts in other threads, I note lots of comments that indicate nurse burnout and stress. I am not sure why we hesitate to engage directly in a thread to support this very real part of the nursing culture. It certainly affects us all in various ways; and the care we give.

I am glad to have found nursing some 30+ years ago. It has not been all easy, though. I also have been through periods where I took breaks to refresh myself or search for another job. Or moved to find a more supportive organization to work with. Or went back to school to avoid working. Or took abilities and interests tests to find another career possibility.

Here is what I think. Usually, we have chosen nursing from the self realization that we like to help people and ease suffering. Also, we have heard this is a good job for women as it allows us to choose from a variety of hours, length of work weeks while making a fair income and coming and going as we must when we are caring for our families. Also, there is the benefit that nursing offers endless variety in specialty focuses. However, I believe, on a deeper level, when we choose a profession which helps others--we hold an underlying realization helping other helps us also in some way.

Here is where the hard part comes. Our profession forces us to be a (professional) part of what most people find to be the hidden or intimate parts of their lives. We journey with them through sometimes unspeakable horror; bound by confidentiality, doctor's orders, organizational policies, time constraints and professional vows which have no consideration for the emotional toll it take on us as feeling human beings. We are, in various ways chastised if we admit the emotional weight of our profession. How many times have we heard inuendos about lack of competency towards someone who is struggling to face the emotional component of our job?

Perhaps our silence is a fragile awareness..."there but go I..."? Perhaps it is developed callousness in effort to survive one's own career...Perhaps it is anger that has developed in response to a culture which does not support its own...

Nursing shortage??? Rather nursing burnout. I am not sure why there are not studies on to focus on factors which create and maintain negative nursing culture. Perhaps one day someone will take it on...

I finished my BSN nursing portion in 11 months= stress

Started out in level 1 SICU= stress. Quit, went to Oncology for 3 months (still here) then started by MSN program in ACNP while working in oncology= stress.

Ironically, one of my research paper was on nursing shortage. There are plenty of nurses out there, they're just not working. The understaffing issue, the responsibilities, the backstabbing of co-workers, underpaid- all add to the unilling to return to nursing which adds on to the shortage. Just from my short term of working, what I noticed most is the lack of cohesions amongst RNs as a group. Most are in a hurry to report another co-worker to the manager so they can look good. I don't know if it's a specific female trait but I think; if the majority of us can overcome the ego issues, we could stand together and demand what we are actually worth. Granted there will be those that are lazy, but they'll stand out soon enough. Without a united group of RNs working and supporting one another, the industry will be slow to progress in terms of policy changes. I can say I've worked for 7 mos on oncology and I can maybe trust ONE person. That is really pathetic when this industry requires collaborative work from a multidisciplinary system.... OK. off my soapbox now. Meanwhile, I look forward to finishing the last 28 credit I have to finish.

Thanks for listening

Meanwhile, I'm stress of not being experienced enough

[THE KAT]

i would try different type of nursing home health care, mds or 11-7 shift goodluck and dont give up you want to call soc security office in regard to how many hours you can work there is some sort of stipluation good luck to you.