Overcoming PTSD?

[CranberryMuffin]

Hello...

I have a dilemma that I could use some advice on - I am contemplating applying for a nurse practitioner program. I left the bedside 3 years ago due to a back injury, but I also was dealing with stress at the time that started to manifest itself into an anxiety disorder (I would say I have PTSD when I think back about ICU nursing: i get anxious, stressed, nervous about making mistakes, worried that I'm doing to do the wrong thing). I've had a desk job for the past 3 years in a job that I like but I'm not passionate about. It's always been my goal to become a nurse practitioner. I have a fear that I am going to exacerbate the anxiety if I go this route and stir up old feelings. I know for sure I cannot do bedside nursing without feeling very stressed and anxious. Has anyone else made this transition from bedside to APN who has experienced similar PTSD symptoms from bedside nursing? And how did you cope?

[BostonFNP, APRN]

Have you tried to shadow a local NP and see how you feel?

The provider role is a challenging one; many of the decisions you make on a routine basis will have lasting impacts, and it does predispose people to worry. For me it is a delicate balance of confidence and self-reflective practice (essentially, worry). Only you will know how it will effect you which is why shadowing might be a good start.