IN ADVANCE: SO sorry if this is long...
I am wondering if any of you pre nursing students, student nurses or nurses have PCOS or even any advice on how I can best deal with this.
I am NOT looking for medical advice just to get that out but if you have any it's welcome. My dilemma is more emotional and I am needing to know how to cope with this.
As a teen, I had lots of "issues" and despite the MANY doctors and specialists I went to nobody was able to tell me what's wrong, they just handed me pills to treat the symptoms. As I got older I kept researching and found out I have PCOS *polycystic ovary syndrome*.
I finally made an appt with the third endocrinologist and before he could start talking I told him what I think I had. He was taken back by all my "research" and said he agreed. After MANY tests, he diagnosed me with PCOS.
We tried different things but not much worked and I've learned to manage it with no pills.
A couple of years ago my "biological clock" started ticking..very loudly. We happen to get pregnant unexpectedly after almost 4 years during a happy time and was sooo happy. My dream was coming true and I didn't even have to try.
Well, to make a long story short, I lost the pregnancy at 18 weeks and 1 day due to PPROM.
May 14th, 2010 two weeks before my Birthday and two weeks after Mother's day. WORST day or event I have ever been through doesn't describe what I went through. It happened out of nowhere, I had a horrible doctor, my dream was lost and my little daughter was gone. Just when I thought I should be "safe".
I had two very early miscarriages before so when I passed 12 weeks I tried to relax. It's been rough to deal with it, I have support in a way but noane can really understand. My OB has 35 yrs of experience and is a well known dr around here and he treated us like dirt. I found out he did an autopsy 5 weeks after because I got a bill from the lab. He didn't even call, not to mention he didn't come to the delivery, give me any options, talk to me or even schedule an appt after delivery. I was disappointed to say the least.
I am embarrassed to say I am almost envious of those with kids and mad at the ones who don't appreciate the blessing.
We tried to get pregnant again using Clomid but I ended up in the ER for three cycles while on the lowest dosage, doctor was an idiot and wasn't even monitoring me so I stopped and decided it was too much and I need a break. We aren't preventing now but not trying. I am NOT monitoring my O's or anything and when I am ready we'll see a reproductive endocrinologist.
NOW, here is my dilemma, how will I be able to manage things like labor and delivery clinicals or anything pregnancy related when this is on my mind. I would feel alot better if I had a baby of my own but for now I don't and all I can do is pray one day I will.
For those of you with PCOS, or maybe those that have trouble getting pregnant how did you deal?
Please don't misunderstand, I am not some evil person that hates women because they got to have kids but it's just tough to cope. I find myself avoiding all pregnancy shows, baby shows, anything baby related. I replay the events in my head every night before bed although I don't cry like I used to. I used to just break down. I still cry when I think of her and what could have been but I can control it better now.
To make matters worse, our next door neighbors have a daughter that was born a month after my daughter was due and I avoid them like the plague. Probably not the healthiest thing but...