Mental Illness Can Be Terminal

In light of the much publicized 20th anniversary of the suicide of rock star Kurt Cobain, increased media coverage of bullying-related suicides and my own recent personal struggles, I thought I'd present some common myths and facts about suicide. There is a huge social stigma related to mental illness, so much that many who need help the most never get it. The more education we get and provide, the more needless deaths we can hopefully prevent. This is by no means comprehensive, I intended to keep it as concise as possible. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

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SmYle4PeDs, BSN

315 Posts

Specializes in PICU.

Thank you for this. It was definitely an eye opener

Smyleern2b walking by faith :)

kythe, LPN

261 Posts

Specializes in LPN.

Thank you for this. As someone who has struggled with depression and occasional suicidal ideation, I have heard all the stereotypes and have greatly learned not to talk about it. There is nothing worse than hurting, laying your heart out to someone, only to get a response of "think about your family!" or hearing people say "now she's saying stuff for attention".

It's always good to see this kind of education in medical circles. The same stigmas exist between many nurses and doctors as exist in the general public. No one is "immune" to personal mental issues.

When I was 20, my boyfriend commited suicide, and left me on the phone to hear him blow his head off. He blamed me in his suicide note, which made his family, our co workers etc. blame me as well. What he didn't write in that suicide note was I left him because a few days before he beat me up. Nevermind the mental abuse, nevermind he actually kidnapped me, and kept me locked in his room for 5 hours before he let me go home to my parents. Nevermind he threatened to hurt my dad if I said anything. Nevermind it took me over 10 years before I could actually have a healthy relationship again. I guess we should all focus on him and what he was going through at the time, right? We should all feel sorry for him because of the emotional turmoil he was going through, right? What about the victims of people who commit suicide? What about his parents? You have no idea what it did to them, to me, his friends. I won't ever see it any other way but a selfish act. If you're going to post an article like this, then you need to see it from both sides of view.

Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.

Thank you for this article I lost my son to suicide last year , I agree and have heard all the fallacies stated in your article . I miss my son and I feel horrible he chose to end his life but the stupid things said like the things mentioned in your article have hurt myself and my daughters far worse . He was living in another state and I know he was in pain and I forgave him because I loved him and he was newly diagnosed bipolar as my Father was .I am going to post this to my Facebook because the world needs education. Some of my friends and family won't even speak of it and yes he did ask for help he was arrested for DUI and asked jail staff for help they didn't respond and call a crisis center but noted it in their logs . I pray no one ever has to outlive a child but he was an organ donor and he saved a man in New York who has his heart beating in his chest and his kidneys and corneas helped more he was 25. Peace

Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.

Read below Sophie if you want both sides friend.

rose898989

2 Posts

I like to think I can add some insight, as my brother committed suicide last year, and I have attempted it myself.

suicidal thinking for me, came from a sense of failure, and I had convinced myself that I was doing my family a favor by dying, and they would be doing them a favor by dying. Obviously not a logical way to think. My brother, who's always been sicker then me, held out for many years, to make sure my dad would be ok, before he did it. I'm not angry at all with him, neither is my dad. When you are suicidal to the point of trying it, it gives a special clarity on a very illogical way of thinking.

Specializes in MDS RNAC, LTC, Psych, LTAC.
I like to think I can add some insight, as my brother committed suicide last year, and I have attempted it myself.

suicidal thinking for me, came from a sense of failure, and I had convinced myself that I was doing my family a favor by dying, and they would be doing them a favor by dying. Obviously not a logical way to think. My brother, who's always been sicker then me, held out for many years, to make sure my dad would be ok, before he did it. I'm not angry at all with him, neither is my dad. When you are suicidal to the point of trying it, it gives a special clarity on a very illogical way of thinking.

Thank you Rose for your wise honest words.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide

VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN

22 Articles; 9,987 Posts

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I like to think I can add some insight, as my brother committed suicide last year, and I have attempted it myself.

suicidal thinking for me, came from a sense of failure, and I had convinced myself that I was doing my family a favor by dying, and they would be doing them a favor by dying. Obviously not a logical way to think. My brother, who's always been sicker then me, held out for many years, to make sure my dad would be ok, before he did it. I'm not angry at all with him, neither is my dad. When you are suicidal to the point of trying it, it gives a special clarity on a very illogical way of thinking.

And it is illogical. It takes some pretty messed-up thinking for someone to come to the conclusion that their family would be better off if they were dead. A couple of years ago, I had some significant suicidal ideation about crashing my car into a tree at around 75 MPH; I didn't want to take anyone else with me, so it would've had to be a single-car 'accident', but every day for awhile I'd be flying down the freeway and think about what it would be like. Would it hurt? Would I be killed instantly?

There are two things that stopped me: one, I was afraid I wouldn't die, but end up paralyzed in a nursing home somewhere being turned and changed every 2 hours; and two, I didn't want to leave the family carless! It never occurred to me then that I would be leaving them Viva-less. How sad that I was more worried about inconveniencing my family than what they would have to go through if I committed suicide.

Thankfully, with the help of a great doctor and support system and some VERY good medications, the suicidal thoughts don't come along often, and when they do, they're promptly disposed of. But I still sympathize with those who attempt and/or complete suicide, because I know what it takes to get to that point where death seems preferable to going on in such misery.

NurseDirtyBird

425 Posts

When I was 20, my boyfriend commited suicide, and left me on the phone to hear him blow his head off. He blamed me in his suicide note, which made his family, our co workers etc. blame me as well. What he didn't write in that suicide note was I left him because a few days before he beat me up. Nevermind the mental abuse, nevermind he actually kidnapped me, and kept me locked in his room for 5 hours before he let me go home to my parents. Nevermind he threatened to hurt my dad if I said anything. Nevermind it took me over 10 years before I could actually have a healthy relationship again. I guess we should all focus on him and what he was going through at the time, right? We should all feel sorry for him because of the emotional turmoil he was going through, right? What about the victims of people who commit suicide? What about his parents? You have no idea what it did to them, to me, his friends. I won't ever see it any other way but a selfish act. If you're going to post an article like this, then you need to see it from both sides of view.

This was intended to be some insight in the mind of the suicidal person. I'll be happy to tell my story about the realizations I had while coming out of that deep depression if you'd like. Much of it was realizing what kind of lasting impact my death would have on my family and friends.