Husband's in nursing school & I'm stressed out!!!

  1. I went through nursing school, while my husband worked and things were great. But now, I'm the one working while he is in clinicals for his R.N. He was a machinist for almost 30 years, and he has decided to change careers. Now, I was never in the position of being the sole provider so I've been VERY stressed, depressed, and worry all the time. My husband says it'll be fine, that I just need to relax. It's been very difficult on our marriage, something I feel completely responsible for, and he only has 11 months to go until graduation. I have difficulty sleeping, cry A LOT, and can't concentrate solely on work when I'm at work.

    I've been taking Wellbutrin SR for the depression, and now have started taking Buspar 2 weeks ago for the anxiety. I think that's helping, but need some ideas of how to relax. I used to have him all to myself (sound selfish?), now I have had to "share" him with nursing school.

    I want/need to get exercising to relax. Anyone have some suggestions for me as to what to start out with. I don't have extra $ for a gym but have a treadmill and hand weights at home. Alternate strength with cardio? I've read a lot here about yoga, but never did that. Sounds silly but, I don't know how to. If I knew how to, I'd do it.
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  2. 2 Comments

  3. by   BabyLady
    I think what you are experiencing in your marriage is a shift of responsibility. Men are raised to expect to be the breadwinner, the provider...women really are not. When that shift happens, it can throw any relationship for a loop.

    I think what you and your husband may need to do, is literally, sit down and have a formal meeting. Go over finances, the checkbook. Perhaps keep a notebook on the kitchen table for things that the household collectively needs...have a dollar limit on what the other can spend per month outside of bills...for now...this is what you have to do to manage finances until both of you are working again.

    Then, schedule..not hope..schedule time for yourselves...even if it's just one day per week for a couple of hours. Set the books down..go see a movie...have "husband and wife time".

    Sometimes couples are really bad about planning things with short conversations but they don't come up with a long term solution to make things livable..b/c they focus on surviving...surviving is important (obviously), but you probably need to take the communication one step further and planning.
  4. by   UM Review RN
    It probably wouldn't hurt for him to exercise too. Nursing school can really pack on the pounds.
    How about taking a half-hour walk when he gets home from school and you're home from work? It'll stretch his legs, give you a chance to get out and move a little, and also give you some special alone time as a couple.

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