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- Mar 21, '10 by WindwardOahuRN>>The point is why would someone living in Hawaii CARE if people move there and leave unless they're at least a little bit uncomfortable with outsiders moving in on their turf? Your statements suggest that people come with the absolute goal of remaining there for life and then they crack under the pressure of island fever or sky high grocery bills, or unemployment rates, whatever. Maybe they never intended to stay for life. What business is it of you or me or anyone else? It just seems a little bitter. If I'm wrong I apologize but that is how it comes across.<<
I honestly don't give a flying fajita who moves here or why they move here. I don't think of Hawaii as "my turf" and feel absolutely no need to be a protective gatekeeper. The 60X100 plot of land I own with the cute little ranch house on it is my turf and my dog does a wonderful job of protecting it.
I also don't care if their intention is to stay two years, five years, or forever. I only know what I have seen in the last ten years. Yes, I've seen people (couples, usually) who come here with the plan of just staying here for two or three years. Those are what I call the "Hawaii Adventure" people. They live here for a short time, spend all their disposable income on parasailing, surfing lessons, inter-island trips, scuba equipment and certification, etc, and leave here penniless. They never intended it to be any other way and that's just fine. It works for them and more power to them. They are honest with themselves from the beginning and they suffer no delusions.
But many people, IME, come here with expectations that are totally out of synch with reality. They have convinced themselves that they can put up with anything as long as they are in Hawaii. Wow---livin' the dream! Most of them declare their undying love for all that is Hawaii and vow never to leave. At least, in the beginning.
And sorry, Trucker---they DO crack under the pressures here. I can't tell you how many times I have seen them do the slow crumble. If I hear "do you know what I could get for $750K back in (fill in the name of just about any state on the mainland)??" one more time I think I'll scream. "My son was doing this math back in (fill in the name of just about any state on the mainland) two years ago---the schools stink here." It just goes on and on.
So yeah, they leave.
When you consider the fact that the average stay is two years, can you enlighten me as to why I would even bother discouraging newcomers? LOL---they figure it out all by themselves, most times. They are simply no threat to me or mine.
I'll continue to tell it like it is and if some choose to misinterpret than I guess there's nothing I can do about that.
- Mar 21, '10 by Lisa From Mauijessicadawn, if you want to know why we moved here in the first place, read my previous posts. if you want to know why we don’t move back to the mainland this week, read my previous posts. i’ve answered all of that already.
jessicadawn, if you don’t understand why we talk like we do, this might help clarify… very important point: everyone sees hawai’i as paradise. “i vacationed there, it was paradise, i want to live in paradise.” that’s their main thought.
let’s say that you, jessicadawn, were an experienced (female) actor. you went home for thanksgiving, and a 16 y.o. girl who lives down the street, visits you and says, “i want to move to hollywood and make it as an actor!” all that she sees is the glamour. you sit her down, and talk to her about all the downfalls of hollywood. every year, 1000 people arrive, and maybe 1 in 1000 get any paid work as a (female) actor. the rest are working as waitresses, etc. divorce is common in hollywood; and it will be in the pages of people magazine for a million people to read. you’re being followed all the time by cameras; if you want to go to the supermarket wearing grungy old clothes, and no make-up, just to buy milk, someone is gonna take your picture and sell it to a magazine for $ 10,000.
she looks at you and says, “i think that maybe you don't really want people to move in on your [hollywood] turf, and that you're not really too concerned with what their hopes and dreams are.”
or, you might be an experienced model. and your neighbor wants to be a model. so you sit down and tell her, “it looks glamorous, but some major problems go along with the glamour. many models are anorexic or bulemic b/c the magazines want you to be a size four. size six is just too fat, so they starve themselves to get work. watch the movie the devil wears prada. as far as the ones who do make it as models, they can easily get into drugs. many of them become addicts, and spend all the $$ they earn on getting high. if they cry out for help, they often don’t get it. watch the movie gia, starring a. jolie. it’s not all beauty. there are a lot of pitfalls and downsides. know about it before you move there. ”
she looks at you and says, “they crack under the pressure… from whatever… you just seems bitter.”
uscg trucker, your 16 y.o. neighbor, he also wants to go to hollywood to be an actor. you talk to him, and he says, "mahalo nui loa again for all your [talking to me]. [thank you] for your patience in dealing with another [person] asking the same old tired questions."
so, what do you, the experienced actor or model, what do you do? you decide to stop talking to the people who don't listen.
does that help to give you clarity? does that help you to understand?
( for me, red is not anger. it's to help words stand out. )
and now i'll talk about myself. it doesn't matter if the mainlander is 16, 26, 36 or 46. some people listen, some people don't. some people appreciate my perspective, some people don't.
i don't write my posts for people who think i'm complaining, venting, jaded, bitter, and wonder why, "if you're so unhappy, why haven't you moved?" i write my posts and i share my story for people who thank me for my perspective. like uscg trucker. who thank me for my honestly, and for telling them like it is. my guess is that windward oahu rn, slobgob and others write for the same reasons. if mainland nurses can't get honesty here, from other nurses, where are they gonna go?
thank you to the people who created and maintain the allnurses website. this site has helped me alot.
- Mar 21, '10 by WindwardOahuRNOoops----sorry, Trucker, I addressed you in error in my last post. In the light of day I see that the post I was responding to was by JessicaDawn, not you.
Working six thirteen hour shifts in eight days will do that to you, sometimes....
- Mar 22, '10 by uscgtruckerNo offense taken, i figured it was done in error. Been there, done that so I wont hold your feet to the fire over it lol.
oh btw, in yours and Lisa's defense, its not that ya'll are trying to sound cold and uninviting. your just trying to be honest with people and not everybody reads that the same way. I personally never took (read) any of it as anything more then trying to be helpful and am grateful for all the honesty, otherwise we prolly wouldve made the mistake of moving there before we were absolutely ready and unable to make the transition, at least financially.
- Mar 22, '10 by GitanoRNLisa Maui, As a matter of fact I accepted a management position in Hawaii Honolulu, making double plus what I'm making here in the mainland. Besides that, I'll have a beautiful view from my office and the best thing is the warmth of the people, that I have met in my many visits to Hawaii. However, I do agree that living in Hawaii is very expensive, therefore, one has to do the math first & then take the plunge. Furthermore, as you are aware everything is more expensive because it has to be imported. In addition, I love my family, but don't get me wrong after 4days with them I want a divorce . So this arrangement works wonderful I don't have to listen to all the drama, see them on holidays if schedule permits. Moreover, I lived there for 8mo. so I have friends waiting, once you get a couple of friends over there it's much easier, they know where all the bargains are & they become family. Another thing that I just love is that every Friday in Honolulu there's a display of fireworks welcoming the weekend. I don't know about you but when my proposal came in I said ALOHA! & MAHALO!!!
- Mar 23, '10 by Lisa From MauiSo, you (a husband) are gonna work on live in Honolulu. You're gonna leave your wife and kids back on the mainland. You plan to visit them only on holidays. Correct?
- Mar 23, '10 by GitanoRNNo I didn't say anything about our kids, our children are grown... me & my better half are going with our pet Min-Pin princess, to live in Honolulu
- Apr 5, '10 by OkieICU_RNWell, I'm back here again. Dammit, I never intended to read or comment on this thread anymore, lol.
Lisa, your story of a young actress wanting to move to Hollywood was probably the MOST helpful and realistic analogy about the realities of moving to Hawaii. It really makes it far more understandable about the Hawaii dream. I still have it, the dream. I would, too, if my dream were to be an actress in Hollywood. I also could really understand and relate to the furniture story you told and I previously commented on.
But, I really have to say that before, I was ready to just dive in and hope to stay afloat. Now, I'm moving a bit more cautiously and deliberately. The link to citydata from elppaym was very helpful and I strongly suggest anyone contemplating a move read many, many of the threads on that site.
WindwardOahuRN's links to Honolulu Adveriser were helpful and I took her advice on getting a subscription to the paper; I had a month's worth mailed to me (the cost alone was a taste of what is to come, around $50 for 4 papers). Also, the information she provided about the newest nurse on the unit being cancelled if the census were low was a big reality check for me. I don't know how it is at Queen's, but here, someone gets cancelled or placed on call frequently. With everything as expensive as it is, even just rent, more than a shift a month cancelled would be financially devastating.
So, I suppose we are staying put, for now. Working, saving, more schooling (for me and SO), moving the last kiddo out of the house, etc.,
May I be so bold as to pose another question or two? I will start a new thread for it.
In no particular order:
- Apr 5, '10 by GitanoRNLisa, I tried contacting you, but it stated that you weren't receiving messages, hope your doing ok, Aloha~