When I was looking into military nursing a few years ago, it was tough finding information on how single parents balanced work and home life, while being active duty. So, as a single parent I wanted to put some info out there to help mothers decide, whether or not military nursing would be a good option.
My background: Prior-service 9years enlisted, I had my son while I was active duty. During this time, there was plenty of childcare resources available, which we needed as we were a dual-military couple. Work-home life balance was do-able because there were childcare centers and sitters available that catered to military work schedules. My Army unit Commander was very understanding and even went as far as offering an alternate work schedule while my husband was deployed. Upon my husbands return from deployment I decided to get out of the military and go to school full-time for nursing.
After a short break from the military, I decided to re-enter the active duty component as an Officer for Nursing. I submitted my packet to the Air Force, Navy and Army. The Navy approved me first and offered a sign-on bonus =) so I signed with the navy during my last year of nursing school. At this time, I had already been divorced and managing quite well as a single parent. I had family support for childcare and financial support from my ex-husband. Upon graduating and passing NCLEX I received active duty orders for Officer Development School with ultimate destination to Bethesda Naval Medical, Bethesda, MD. (Great) my first pick on my list of duty stations.
Prior to entering the Navy I had no work experience as a Nurse, I was contacted by the Hospitals Nurse Internship Program director, she interviewed me over the phone, as I was in training at the time. She made me aware of the schedule during my internship period 6 months long at the time, which varied based on where I would be working in the hospital. She also advised of the waiting list for the Child Development Center on base, she said it might be hard to find a provider right away and she told me it might be a good idea to leave my son with my family for the first 6 months until I became familiar with the area and the hospital. Okay fine. So, this is what I experienced as a single-parent in the Navy Nurse Corps:
- My preceptor didn't know how to "deal" with me because she 25 y/o single and lived in downtown DC with a roommate. (I was 29 y/o divorcee, with a 4 yrs old son)
- Daycare on base had a 1 yr waiting list.
- Off base daycares do not open as early as 6am, or stayed open past 630pm
- Babysitters cost a lot $$$ to cover extended hours $15-$20 per hours.
- The Navy Command expects you to deal with your issues, when you present any work/scheduling conflict, they hear you out and then say find a solution. (GREAT) i was new to the area, had no family and I sought out Family Fleet Services they offered my therapy, really???
- NACCRA is a subsidy available to offset daycare cost for active duty military that do not have base CDC available... I thought GREAT! except for my 4 year hold it cost $1600 a month to cover my 7a-7p shift 2-3 days during the normal work week and plus you have to pay a babysitter hourly for weekend care. (My rent $2000 a month in the maryland/DC area) This is just your normal schedule, how about the days you have to be at work on your days-off for mandatory training? or Collateral duties??? more money.
- My first year as an officer was my toughest, I spent 3 months with my son because all the local daycares had waiting lists, plus finding a sitter for a 6am start was really hard.
- Interpersonal relationships at work was affected, the days my daycare would close or open late due to weather, meant that I either had to stay home or come-in late. Needless to say, my co-workers didn't like that at all because it meant they had an increased work load. Not something I wanted to happen, either but sometimes I had to call out, as some childcare facilities don't even notify you of delayed opening or closures.
How I survived my first Duty station:
- During my 2nd year at Walter Reed Bethesda my Service Chief was replaced and the new leader coming in was a single-mother during her early years as a nurse. She offered me a flexible work schedule, I still had to do my shift work but instead of switching days and nights every 3 mons, I was able to stay on 1 shift whether it be days or nights for an extended period providing consistency for my childcare needs, because I had 3 babysitters quit on me because my hours were too long and the switching was hard to cover.
- My service chief offered me a transfer off the med-surge ward to PACU to work 8-10hrs shifts monday through friday. =) sweet. I loved it. However, in the Navy PACU is not critical care, big bummer because if it was you would get assigned a specialty code and you would only work in this type of environment. So for 1year i had no issues with daycare other then the occasional weather closures, sometimes walter reed would delay opening when the govt was closed.
- Now, I am at my second duty station (which will remain nameless) I am back to square one again, since I didn't have a critical care identifier, I got assigned to the ED, okay not too bad its a specialty area, cool! I thought great, can;t wait to start! Until they presented me with my work schedule. The ED is under-manned and their shift turnover starts even earlier, than the 7a-7p. Military staff are required to do 12hr shifts and rotate every 8 weeks from days to nights. (only civilians can be assigned permanent shift hours) Either way, I haven't been able to cover my day shift hours. I am on a temporary work schedule until I do find something, which is amazing for me because I never expected my leadership to be flexible. Only during my orientation (3mons long) I will be allowed to work an alternate work schedule.
The challenge at this duty station is that my son is of school age and there are only 2 facilities that bus to his school. One opens at 6am and the other opens at 630am. To late for my shift hours... great. There is no base CDC option for me either. Soo, I put in a written request to transfer to any floor in the hospital with 7a-7p turnover, the Command is not supporting this switch, because my current department is understaffed... "The needs of the department" are a top priority for the Navy and I was told to "blossom where I am planted." What will happen next I just don't know, but I will keep searching.
Okay, so here is the jist of my thread, if you are a single-parent and want to make military nursing your career, yes it is "do-able" but not always easy. The Navy needs their nurses where they need them. One other major factor to consider is when you join the military your kids are subject to the lifestyle, and babysitters don't care for your child the same way you would, my son has fluctuated in weight because he was not fed the food i would send with him to the sitter (I had a lady feed him 1 orange, no breakfast, no lunch or dinner) she said "he didn't want to eat..." during a 12hrs day home with my son. I had a sitter show up to his bus stop which was directly outside of her home. An employee of the apartment community I lived-in recognized my son, after he spotted walking through the parking lot by himself. (at the age of 5)This staffer brought him to the front desk of my building and called me while i was at work. Those are just a few examples of the negative experiences I went through. I did background checks, reference checks, you name it... You just never really know who is taking care of your child. I am pretty traumatized by all this and I live with alot of guilt. His father was deployed during these times and even now his father is very unreliable.
Military nursing is a very rewarding experience for a single-career driven nurse, with no obligations. But if you have a family the work demands are very challenging, and in my case after 12 years of service I am forced to have to leave at the end of my active duty obligation, because I cannot put my son through this anymore. He's in second grade now, the thought of being with a sitter makes him cry. I try to explain to him its only temporary, because soon we will return home to be with my extended family for support.
I know this post is long, but I hope it helps single-mothers/dads out there who are considering Military Nursing.
