Married to the USMC, want to join USN NC...

DanznRN, RN · Mar 9, 2006

K-

My name is LT D'Aurora and I have been in the Navy for 9 years, I'll give you my opinion and impressions based on my experience in the Navy.

Learn this saying, "if the Navy wanted you to have a family or husband in the USMC, it would have been issued to you in your seabag." I hate this saying and it has been used on me by superiors throughout my career. In other words, the Navy comes first, so consideration for your husband's situation will be minimal, especially since he is in a different branch. Yes, they both fall under the Department of the Navy, but they are separate entities. He should know and remember that "The Corp" comes first, that's what they get taught, the Navy sees it the same way. My wife and I are both Active Duty in the Navy and we are both nurses. Therefore, when we go to negotiate orders, they just have to find a place that opennings for 2 nurses. We are in different specialties so it is a bit easier. However, the Navy's policy on co-locating dual military couples states that the Navy has up to 1 year to co-locate us. I'm not sure how the USMC and Navy would view your situation, but I'm not hopeful. I talked with some Army nurses when I was in northern Italy earlier this year and there were dual Army couples, but in different jobs, like a nurse and a supply officer. The Army didn't even attempt to co-locate them because they were in different fields. Again, I would be surprised if the detailer shows concern about where your husband is. Your best bet is to talk with the recruiter about your situation. If you want I could call my detailer just to see what guidance he has on this, if any. As far as your husband being in DC, if you join the Navy, there are several duty stations within a 100 miles or so to make it work. This would require some luck and compassion on the detailers part, again I'd do a lot of research before signing anything.

This is my .02 cents based on my experience in the Navy. My wife and I were not always dual military and I can tell you when she was a civilian, the Navy had no concern for her career or position in life. She was always expected to follow and support, I would assume this is a similar situation. Has the USMC ever been concerned about your situation when stationing your husband?

LT Dan

SmilingBluEyes · Mar 10, 2006

You will likely spend a lot of time living apart if you do this......being dual military tough....being dual military in different branches, even tougher. Trust me, you might want to think this through again, if you want to stay together most of the time or start a family.

Trauma Columnist · Mar 10, 2006

I just have to chime in too. My husband was in the Air Force and I was in the Navy when we married and had our oldest son. Well, our son was 4 months old and I got orders to a ship. We were already overseas in Japan and I would have to come stateside leaving my son and husband in Japan. Oh by the way did I mention that if two active duty folks decide to (horror of horrors) have a child, they must have a dependent plan in place - meaning you have power of attorney drawn up so that if something happens and both of you are deployed, someone else will take custody of your child. My detailer (the guy that does assignments) literally laughed at me when I told him I was marrying an Air Force guy. This all happened in 1980 and it still upsets me. So...I got out of the Navy which wasn't really what I wanted to do but felt at the time that I had no choice.

Please don't think that your husband's permanent billet is permanent either - the needs of the government always, always, always come first and believe me, they don't care that you are married, are pregnant, have children, have dying parents (another cool story-NOT), etc..

Oh gee whiz - I do sound like a bitter old woman don't I?? The good things about the military is the travel. My family has been stationed in Japan, Spain, Korea, Alaska, Las Vegas and Indianapolis and we have been very fortunate to be able to travel much. My husband retired at the age of 42 with 23 yrs service and has received a very generous check for the last 11 yrs which allows us to live very nicely - new cars, frequent vacations, debt-free.

Would I do it again - yes! Well - maybe...

DanznRN, RN · Mar 10, 2006

I feel better now, I thought that the post I left was a bit too harsh. Now I know others feel the same way I do, talk about validation.

LT Dan

Corvette Guy · Mar 16, 2006

I feel better now, I thought that the post I left was a bit too harsh. Now I know others feel the same way I do, talk about validation.
LT Dan

IMHO, your previous post was right on target.

Trauma Columnist · Mar 16, 2006

Sorry Lt Dan - I do sound pretty bitter don't I? I have to say though that few of the military families I know absolutely love it and get to spend all of their free time together (can we hear the harps in the background?).

Corvette Guy · Mar 16, 2006

Sorry Lt Dan - I do sound pretty bitter don't I? I have to say though that few of the military families I know absolutely love it and get to spend all of their free time together (can we hear the harps in the background?).

My husband retired at the age of 42 with 23 yrs service and has received a very generous check for the last 11 yrs which allows us to live very nicely - new cars, frequent vacations, debt-free. - traumaRUs

Of course, you have every right to choose to be bitter towards the military. However, your family is still benefitting from your husband's military service, correct?

DanznRN, RN · Mar 17, 2006

Vette Man-

C'mon, money's not everything. Trust me, sometimes it truly isn't worth it. The sacrifice the family makes as a whole is truly very hard.

LT Dan