Having teenagers and being in the Military

Trauma Columnist · Feb 7, 2008

Both of my sons were born overseas while hubby was in the Air Force. He retired in 1995 when the boys were 10 and 15. To this day, both boys will not move! I don't have any words of wisdom except to ask if she identifies with other military kids. You know: they've moved all over and make friends easy and leave them easy too. If so, maybe get her involved in a group for teens onbase? Via the post/base chapel?

allnurses Guide · Feb 7, 2008

I know she hates to move!!! The problem is that I am in school for the next couple of years and where we live there just aren't a lot of military families, and the ones that are around all have young children.

She does stay busy though. She has a part-time job, and is taking night/weekend classes in order to graduate early. All of those were her idea. She was so worried about possibly changing schools again before she graduated she decided to graduate early.

Thanks for the advice. I will look into the activities on base, but NNMC/USUHS doesn't really seem to have stuff for kids/teenagers.

JazzyT · Feb 7, 2008

I worry about this a little bit also as I have a 16-year-old son. He told me he was okay with me going into the AF, but now that it is actually going to happen, he is less than happy (guess he thought I was joking). He won't graduate until next year, so I think my husband was going to stay behind until he graduates, because I don't want to move him his senior year. I am feeling a little guilty now because he has, just recently, told me how he really feels about this situation.

allnurses Guide · Feb 7, 2008

I worry about this a little bit also as I have a 16-year-old son. He told me he was okay with me going into the AF, but now that it is actually going to happen, he is less than happy (guess he thought I was joking). He won't graduate until next year, so I think my husband was going to stay behind until he graduates, because I don't want to move him his senior year. I am feeling a little guilty now because he has, just recently, told me how he really feels about this situation.

I have done just about everything to keep from moving during her senior, but I didn't want to put off my education any longer than I already had. It took me applying three times before I finally got accepted to nurse anesthesia school, and it is me furthering my education that is going to pay for her college education and her sisters...I guess I am just feeling guilty, because we have moved so much the last couple of years.

The Little Greek · Feb 7, 2008

Ahhhhh, parent guilt, isn't it great? We're damned if we do and damned if we don't. My kids are too little (4 and 5 yo) now to really understand what's getting ready to happen. I always feel guilty about leaving my kids in childcare. I feel guilty for not being able to put them into all the extra cirricular activities they are ALREADY asking about. Guilt, guilt and more guilt!

I'm not sure that I can offer any advice, but I did want to mention the flip side of this situation which is living in one place your whole darn life. I grew up in a military town (Hampton Roads, VA) and my friends were always moving. I was sooo jealous! I lived in Va Beach my whole life. I've known the same people my whole life. Your daughter may be miserable right now but in the long run I believe it will serve her well. Now trying to explain that to a 16 year old is another story.

Honestly, I think the best thing you can do for her is be supportive as a parent. Listen to her concerns and validate them....there is nothing worse than a parent just blowing you off. You probably already know/do these things but I hope it's helpful to hear from someone else.

DanznRN, RN · Feb 7, 2008

WTB-

You may remember that I have kids too, but mine are younger (9,6,2). I know they are not teenagers, but they have started the grumblings about moving. What we try and do is highlight where we've been, both good and bad. I try and explain to them that some kids never get to move, they never get to experience what they have experienced. It sounds like you all have had some trying times, I would expect that there are also some special experiences in there as well. We focus on that stuff to help ours cope with being nomads. Good luck, how's school?

LCDR Dan

allnurses Guide · Feb 7, 2008

WTB-
Good luck, how's school?
LCDR Dan

LOL....school sucks of course! 84 days left I will be done with the 1st year of nurse anesthesia school....not that I am counting or anything!

I do enjoy nurse anesthesia school overall, but the pace is a killer. I am looking forward to starting my clinicals at NNMC and actually doing patient care again.

How is your new position going over at NNMC?

DanznRN, RN · Feb 8, 2008

Things are good, getting settled. As with any new place lots of things need attention. The unit has been without stable leadership for almost a year now, they've had 3 DivOs and 6 LPOs in the last year. So me coming in provides them with some stability which they want BIGTIME! Finished all the O-classes this week and getting ready to start in the "to-do" list. Overall, I'm having a great time, thanks for asking. Take care and if you're ever in the area when you start clinicals, be happy to take you for lunch, if you they let you eat, Ha-Ha!!

LCDR Dan

allnurses Guide · Feb 8, 2008

Things are good, getting settled. As with any new place lots of things need attention. The unit has been without stable leadership for almost a year now, they've had 3 DivOs and 6 LPOs in the last year. So me coming in provides them with some stability which they want BIGTIME! Finished all the O-classes this week and getting ready to start in the "to-do" list. Overall, I'm having a great time, thanks for asking. Take care and if you're ever in the area when you start clinicals, be happy to take you for lunch, if you they let you eat, Ha-Ha!!
LCDR Dan

I hear no eating for at least the 1st 6 months of clinicals...lol, but I will be sure to sneak away to the ERwhen I get over there for a visit.