Funny & Cute Things Our Demented Patients Say - page 8

Anyone who works around the demented elderly population can attest to the fact that they sometimes say the darndest things. Mr. Rider is a pseudonym for the slightly plump octogenarian nursing home resident who had some... Read More

  1. 0
    Quote from CloudySue
    Reminds me of Deb (and her sister Flo) from Finding Nemo!
    I was thinking that same thing while I was reading that!

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  2. 2
    As a student on a med/surg floor, I had probably the sweetest little old lady with dementia. She would go in and out of confusion. Sometimes she knew she was at the hospital and that she was in her 80s. Other times she thought she was a lot younger. I went to wake her up one morning and I asked her if she knew where she was. She replied "oohhh, I'm in Las Vegas" (We were in the Niagara region of Canada). And all I could say was "I wish!"

    The same lady a few hours later had to have her catheter removed and inserted again. She probably had no idea she even had a catheter in to begin with. But as I'm explaining the procedure to her (this was my first time inserting a female catheter) she asked me if the catheter would impede her from having sexual intercourse with her husband. I softly said that it wouldn't but that she was in the hospital so she probably won't be doing any of that for a while. This woman's husband came to visit her every day, it was the sweetest love story I ever witnessed. She was incredibly protective of him as well, she told all the female nurses to stay away from her husband because he was hers!

    She also proceeded to tell us that she was recently in this hospital. I asked her what she was here for, and she replied "oh a caesarean section, that was about 7 years ago." It was probably about 50 years prior!

    Med/surg is definitely not my choice but meeting special people like this lady is what makes it worthwhile!
    Donna2011 and LTCNS like this.
  3. 4
    I was sitting on the bed with a tiny, frail little lady who was one of my favorite residents in a nursing home I used to work in. She would cooperate with me when nobody else could get her to eat or let them do ADL care. Anyway, I leaned in towards her to talk to her and she said "If you're going to kiss me just go ahead and do it." I assured her I was there for a visit and not for a kiss lol!
    NurseMandaRN, silverbat, BrandonLPN, and 1 other like this.
  4. 0
    Quote from lub dub
    A member of my family suffers from dementia, & I find nothing funny or cute about it. There is a thread elsewhere on this site that talks about the elderly being devalued, & I thought of this thread.

    Go ahead, let the flaming begin...
    Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying.
  5. 2
    I have a 95 y.o. patient who often thinks I am her mother or aunt. Once she thought I was her husband!
    The other day, another patient stopped in her doorway. Knowing he frequently cruised around searching for his room, I sent him off in the correct direction. My PD patient wanted me to tell him to come in because she had to talk to him. She didn't know him, and when I told her that, she said she knew that, but she had to tell him that he was her son! I told her she would've had to give birth to him when she was five years old. She said "SO?" I said that 5 y.o.'s weren't physically capable of giving birth. Her response was "You are so ridiculous!"
    I had to agree.
    LTCNS and silverbat like this.
  6. 2
    One time I was administering a resident's meds through her g-tube and out of the blue she says to me "there are a lot of really good looking people that work here and you just aren't one of them." Talk about a self esteem booster!
    I took care of another lady who frequently hallucinated and thought she had cats in her room,we had to be careful not to "step" on one of them and had to sometimes "move" them off her bed! One night I went in to give her her meds and she insisted that there was a pony in her room! She wouldn't take her meds until I had led that pony out of her room!
    I took care of another lady that had a baby that she carried around with her everywhere. His name was Jameson Quite often she would have staff members baby sit Jameson for her! What I found ironic was that she had never had children of her own, her maternal instinct finally kicked in at the age of 80!
  7. 2
    My dad has dementia. He resides in a LTC facility. I asked him why he was tired and he said he worked last night 16 hours welding. When I took him back to the LTC facility after a doctor visit, he thanked me for all I do for him. That moment was bittersweet.

    I worked a long time ago at a LTC facility on the dementia floor. There was a resident who was very concerned about picking up his daughter from school. It was raining and he was very adamant to go pick her up at 4 AM. It went on for quite a while and when the day shift came on they called his daughter for him to speak to her. I wish I had thought to do that.
  8. 3
    Bumping up this thread because I enjoyed reading it so much! I used to work in AL facility in the Alzheimer's unit, and this thread brought back a lot of funny memories!

    I took care of a tiny, sweet, 97 yr. old resident with an above-the-knee amputation. She would refer to her stump as the "child's head" and told me that once it grew out it would be a strange looking child.

    Another resident I was taking care of was so restless one night and just kept wandering. I asked her what was wrong and she said to me, "I left the boat untied at the dock, someone's going to take it away!" I told her I would take care of her boat for her as I walked her back to her room. "But I have to get home." I told her that she could stay here for the night and go back home tomorrow. She said, "Oh, thank you, but what about the dogs, they won't bother you will they?" I told her the dogs are welcome to stay too. She seemed relieved and let me help her to bed.
  9. 0
    I had an elderly lady who would absolutely refuse to drink anything but grape juice. She would also refuse to drink it unless we called it wine!!!
  10. 2
    I absolutely love this thread, so I've got to respond, too.

    I currently work in assisted living but before this I was in a SNF. But my favorite story comes from even before I was a nurse.

    I was working as a direct care advisor in a group home for adults with developmental disabilities. We had a lady who was in her 70s, cutest little lady you'll ever see, sweet as pie most of the time, but any time she got irritated, there was a string of obscenities that would roll out of her mouth, not particularly directed at anyone, then the next minute, she'd smile and tell you she loved you. She had dementia in the very beginning stages.

    She had lots of antics. We'd all be sitting quietly in the living room watching tv, and she would be recline in her chair. All of the sudden you'd hear, "HEY!! I'm watching tv real' good." With her little smile.

    The absolute best was when I was stuck doing an overnight awake because we had a surprise hospital trip for another consumer, and I was reviewing all the documentation after everyone was in bed. This little lady always had major issues with her pillow being situated right. After about 5 or 6 times of hearing her down the hall, cursing, then going to fix her pillow, I walk in as she starts again and this time, she's so frustrated, she goes, "IM GONNA BITE MYSELF!" And proceeds to stick a meatier part of her hand into her mouth. I looked at her and I said, "but (her name), you don't have any teeth. You're gumming yourself!" To which she stopped, looked at me, and began to giggle hysterically for about ten minutes and agreed with me.

    That was definitely high up there on one of my favorite moments.

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