Thoughts on balance (home vs. school)?

  1. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site!!
    I was recently admitted to a 2yr RN program in CT. I start in the fall and I'm scared to death . My question is this: With 4 kids (ages 11,9,6,4) and a somewhat needy husband, what's the best way to balance "life" with my studies. Everything I read tells me it will be one of the most challenging experiences of my life. Can I really do this??? Any thoughts would be really helpful! Countdown to clinicals: 56 days
    Thanks
    Elaydo in Ct.
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   hoppermom3
    I am also in your boat...3 kids (5, 8, 11) and hubby just started his own body shop after 11 years working for a dealership. I am so busy with the kids and the shop that I worry about how everything will get done this fall.
    Last year, while I was taking pre-reqs, I relied on my in-laws and family to help with the kids. Also, people from our church were very helpful. This fall, I am giving up teaching Sunday School. I will continue to teach Bible Drill and Wed night activities though.
    My kids used to be in EVERYTHING. Last year, we cut back to school, church, and ONE other activity. We found that the kids were actually happier.
    I think mostly you have to prioritize, let the little things go, and accept help when it is offered.
  4. by   elaydo
    Thanks for your thoughts. I think the biggest challenge for me is letting go of the guilt!. Like your kids, mine are young. Needless to say they can be emotionally very needy. Someone recently told me that you just have to walk through it and let the chips fall where they may! I'm beginning to think they're right. Good luck with your program!!
  5. by   cowgirlup
    Quote from elaydo
    Thanks for your thoughts. I think the biggest challenge for me is letting go of the guilt!. Like your kids, mine are young. Needless to say they can be emotionally very needy. Someone recently told me that you just have to walk through it and let the chips fall where they may! I'm beginning to think they're right. Good luck with your program!!
    "letting go of the guilt" was my biggest problem. I was in nursing school last fall and dropped out mid-November because I felt very guilty all the time. I had the highest average in class and LOVED my nursing classes. My husband was pretty supportive, but I felt guilty about not spending as much time with my now 2 year old and 10 year old. I also felt guilty about not bringing in an income anymore, not keeping the house as clean, not cooking as often as I used to, etc. NOT ANYMORE! I now realize what a mistake I made and will begin AGAIN this fall.

    I talked to a girl who told me that, while in school, she always set aside 1 hour each day (except for the night before a test) to spend "quality time" with her young child. I think that is a great idea. I am already working on a similar plan. I am NOT going to let the guilt get to me this time!
  6. by   lisamc1RN
    I'm in the same boat! I start school tomorrow, so I guess we'll see how I make this work! It can be done! That's all I know right now! :chuckle
  7. by   fnimat1
    I've also been trying to figure out how my family is going to handle my not being "here" as often as I used to be. My children are (10, 8, 3 and 18mths.) and I've been a SAHM for most of my marriage. For the most part I have had long conversations with my dh about how I'm going to need his help. It's not going to be the way it used to be. For the most part he says he understands now and he will do whatever he needs to do....we'll see when Sept. 7th comes though... I think the key will be organization.

    Fatima
  8. by   lil'nurse
    I will be starting my last semester of the ADN program this fall. In the time since I have started school, my oldest has started school and I had another baby. I have some major guilt issues about the time and money I have spent on school but now then I think of how much better off we will be financially, that I won't have to work overtime anymore for extra's. I just plod ahead and take it test by test, semester by semester and it's amazing that it's almost over.
  9. by   Gampopa
    Balance is very important. With out it, the dishes in the sink will topple over. You have to balance them with great precision as you're sprinting out the door late for class. The books on your desk also need to be balanced or they come crashing down. Try either the assessment or patho text on the bottom of the stack as these are usually the bulkiest. Then the med. dictionary and theory next. Index cards fit neatly in the little spaces beteen and can help stabilize the mound. The cat naturally goes on top. If you have a book bag alternate which shoulder you sling it over or you begin to develop a lean to one side. If this happens you're out of balance and need to correct it. Try carrying bricks over your other shoulder or just your patho book. Most importantly remember to balance your rum with coke, gin with tonic, wine with cheese, beer with wings. This is critical. No sloppy drinkers, please.
  10. by   angelac1978
    lol at "the cat naturally goes on top" that is my cat to a T! WE bought some new shelves to organize our apartment and within an hour, she was already climbing on them and had claimed the top shelf. Silly kitty.

    A
  11. by   sabrn2006
    Awesome little post about balance! I can relate to that one.


    I, too, have concerns about how I will have time to do everything, spend time with my family, get decent grades, and still stay sane. (Is that last item even possible? LOL) I will try to stay organized but also let the little things go. i.e. I might cook extra dishes on Sunday and freeze some for the week but not vacuum as often. Hey, whatever works! My kids are struggling with the idea that Mom has to devote a bunch of time to school. Their behaviors have gotten worse - yikes. I am sure we will adjust though. Right now I am trying to think of new ways to get them to do more housework (they are 11 and 13) Any ideas?
  12. by   mjbsn2006
    I'm in the same boat, my kids are 6 and 2 and it seems like they are getting worse and worse as the day for school to start gets near. It wasn't as bad until my daughter reached her terrible 2 stage, now everything is out of control. I just don't know how I will make it in the fall. I'm taking an online class now, and I barely have time to complete the assignments for that. I'm excited that I'm starting nursing, but I'm also terrified b/c I dont want to fail. I hate feeling like this. I know how time consuming classes can be, and my 2yo never lets me forget that she doesn't get her usual 24 hrs. of attention. I managed through the last 2 yrs(prereq) with hardly any sleep, and continuous headaches. I am exhausted and the hard part hasn't started yet. Good luck to everyone, we will make it !!!!!
  13. by   rnmi2004
    First off, your "needy" husband is going to have to get over himself. Nursing school is hard work and he's going to have to put your need to be supported ahead of of his wants.

    Everyone, including the young kids, are going to have to pitch in and help with the housework--but don't put too much emphasis on housework! It is very tough to study with noisy kids in the background--study when they're sleeping or away. I have a study group at school so I don't have all the distractions of home hovering over me.

    Make sure you let everyone in your family know that you appreciate anything they do to make your life easier--and let them know often. Don't forget to smile!
  14. by   Energizer Bunny
    There are threads all over the place about this sort of thing. The guilt is hard. I am already dealing with it and am only taking two summer courses right now. I am SURE it will get worse as fall approaches. Especially, with my oldest starting kindergarten. Hopefully, I won't miss his first day.

    My dh also just started a new job where he has more steady hours (M-F) but we never know if he will be home or off galavanting somewhere due to the travel required by the position. This week, he is in CT and I am having to struggle through with studying. It's really hard to do with these kids and I have been in tears more than once wondering if I can do this now that dh won't be here as much.

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