Hi! I'm new here. Hopefully, I'm posting in the right place. I'm a senior (second/last semester) nursing student who's beginning preceptorship and (hopefully) will graduate in May. I'm pretty sure there are many posts on this website regarding this topic, but I just need some advice. I'm very excited I've gotten this far. It's been a long road, I've worked and studied hard, and I feel that I've grown so much throughout these three or four years in nursing school. However, strangely I'm losing a little confidence and becoming very anxious about this last year since I feel that there is so much I still need to learn and that I'm unprepared. I just feel that my skills aren't good enough yet. And recently, after a nursing skills exam in the skills lab (we had to do this exam and show that we are ready to start our preceptorship), my confidence has plummeted a bit more.
It's not the fact that I had to remediate on a couple of skills, it had to do with the comments which were said to me by one of the examiners during and after my Clean wet-to-dry (the one where you pack wet gauzes in an open wound and put a dry dressing over it)/Sterile Central line dressing changes. During the procedure, she would say very degrading things like "it's too painful to watch", "you don't know what you're doing", "I'm sorry that you've made it this far with poor skills", that I "shouldn't even be here", that it's "a shock" that I've "made it this far", and that I "shouldn't graduate."
I admit that my skills aren't perfect, that it takes me a while to learn and perfect something, and that I should've came into the lab more often and practiced the skills I wasn't exposed to much in clinical to ensure I was doing them the way the books/instructors wanted the nursing students to do (ever since the exam, I've been going to the lab more often to work on the skills I need to practice since my schedule this semester is light and I have no job). I understand that, since I'm a senior, there are higher expectations of me and that I should have certain skills mastered. But, it was just humiliating and very discouraging. She would even say these things where people in the lab could hear. Not only that, the more she said those negative things during the examination, the more nervous I'd become and the more mistakes I made. I felt not only embarrassed, but extremely ashamed. However, on the positive side, I passed the skills I had to redo the second time on the same day with a different examiner who was more encouraging. But still, I feel very discouraged and nervous. And with preceptorship coming by very soon, I'm not sure if I'm good enough to be where I'm at. What if I'm going to be a really bad nurse?
Perhaps I'm just being a little too sensitive. Maybe this was her way of critiquing me and I'm just looking too much into it. Throughout nursing school, confidence was always an issue for me, although I have been working on it and have come a long way since when I first began in the nursing program--I've grown a lot since then and I'm thankful to have family and friends who support me. I know I'm not incompetent and that I work with my patients very well in the clinical setting. It's just, I need to have more faith in myself and my actions. I know this. But after that day, I just can't stop thinking about such comments and it's been bothering me since.
I apologize for the long post. I guess I'm just really anxious right now. I just want to do the very best I can to prepare myself for graduation and my future career in nursing. If anyone would give me some suggestions and tips to better prepare myself for preceptorship and be successful in my last semester, that would be very much appreciated. Thank you!