In need of knowledge!!!

  1. Okay, first I just want to ask that this doesn't be turned into a debate, and please don't bash me. And I thank anyone who posts to this.

    Here's my story,

    My mother is in the end stages of Alzheimers, she is losing the ability to swallow and I had to make a very difficult decision. I decided not to do a feeding tube for her. This has been very stressful for me to deal with and I did the dumbest thing I could've ever done. I smoked some pot. Now I know that there's really no excuse but I just wanted to give you a little bit of background. I smoked some over the weekend and they did a test on Tue.

    I don't know if it will help anything or not but I plan on talking to my program director and just basically confessing to her. Someone told me that if you come up dirty on a test, that you get expelled...which I fully expect, and that you are placed in a registry and can not get back into nursing school for 7 years. What I need to know is how true this is. Is it possible to have options?, Second Chances? I am not a regular user, I just royally screwed up!!! Again, thanks for any response.
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   LoriAlabamaRN
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I know you realize how dumb it was to resort to illegal drugs. Convey this attitude of attrition when you are spoken to about the test results. At this point nothing may stop the roller coaster, but you may be able to adjust the track a little.
  4. by   colleennurse
    Each school is different and I think that you would have to refer to your schools policies. If you are pretty sure that your test will come back positive then you probably should talk to the program director and tell them what is going on in your life. It maybe better to be honest up front. I am really sorry about your situation. Maybe they can work something out for you. I hope everything works out for you
  5. by   dave1117
    Are you really sorry you smoked the pot..or are you sorry they tested you on Tuesday???:uhoh21:

    I am also sorry that you have a difficult family decision to make and I am sure that the pot helped ease your pain even if only temporarily. Next time have a martini...with olives of course.

    If you are not a cronic smoker the half life of the pot may not stay in your system very long. Cronic smokers it takes up to 6 weeks to clear. There are herbal remedies that people use like "golden seal" which you can get at the local health food store. It is an astringent and with lots of water will clean you out in a few days.

    rather than coming clean and "admitting" guilt, perhaps you would be better off waiting, denying the possibility of anything like that being in your system and start imediately flushing out your system in case of a retest. If you are honest you will have to deal with whatever they throw at you. If you deny, deny deny you may get the benefit of the doubt. Of course, they will be spot checking you again so no more lapses of common sense with your future.

    Obviously this is a moral delema for you. The truth usually works but in this case the truth could be the end of your nursing career.

    Good luck, I hope it works out for you. And many prayers for your mother.

    dave :wink2:
  6. by   SoulShine75
    I'm assuming this was a random drug test??? Well...your situation stinks right now doesn't it? I agree with dave. I think I'd wait and see what the results are before you say anything and go from there. I'm sorry about your mom and that you hold all of that weight on your shoulders. I hope things turn out well, I'd hate to see someone get expelled for smoking a doobie. :uhoh21: It could be worse I suppose. Hopefully this will keep you away from it from now on. Good luck and keep us updated!!

    p.s. you may also want to get a heads up on the school's policy so you know exactly what to expect.
  7. by   mom2michael
    Our drug tests are a right then and there kind of thing, we aren't allowed to leave the bathroom w/o verifying with the drug tester their results and signing a piece of paper as to the findings. This saves a lot of headache.

    I would lay low and wait and see what happens. More than likely, if you are a decent student with no problems, you might get by with the "holy crap...that was my drug test....are you sure????" and they'll probably do another test. I would not make a big deal about this until it's time to make a big deal about it.

    Good luck!!!!
  8. by   Pchez31
    I really appreciate everyones encouragement. For the pp, yes...I am definitely sorry, I smoked. And I know that my comming forward and being truthful will hurt my chances but I am not a good liar, and I'd just rather be honest. I did what I did, I wish I could change it but I can't and I'll take whatever comes my way because I deserve it. An update...my mom past away today, and I am so depressed right now...I feel like I murdered her by not giving her the feeding tube. Again, thanks for not ripping my head off too bad and next time I'll think about a martini instead.
  9. by   jaimemds
    Please do not feel like you murdered your mother. You did what you thought was best for her. You need a hug right now. do what you feel is best for you regarding the drug test.
  10. by   nurse4theplanet
    I am so sorry about your mother and the situation that you are in...but like you said, there is no excuse for what you did and at least you know you made a mistake.

    I don't think it would be best to wait for the results, considering you recently smoked and the likelihood of you testing positive is high...no pun intended. If you act surprised and demand another test, this will only look more suspicious and they may request a hair sample that could go back even further (don't know your history...but something to consider). It certainly is a sticky situation and I would suggest being upfront and honest. You made your choice, now you will have to face the consequences. I will be praying for you and your mother, as well as your ability to stay in the program.

    The decisions you are having to make now for your mom, the reality of her prognosis, and the upcoming emotions you will have to face are probably overwhelming, hence the reason you turned to marijuana as a way to cope. I would recommend conseling whether it is with a nurse who specializes in end-of-life care or with a psychiatrist. You no doubt are beginning the grieving process on top of nursing school and you must have a healthy support system in place. I hope I am conveying an attitude of concern for you and your emotional/spiritual well being, and not one of judgement. Hugs to you and best wishes!
  11. by   SoulShine75
    Quote from Pchez31
    I really appreciate everyones encouragement. For the pp, yes...I am definitely sorry, I smoked. And I know that my comming forward and being truthful will hurt my chances but I am not a good liar, and I'd just rather be honest. I did what I did, I wish I could change it but I can't and I'll take whatever comes my way because I deserve it. An update...my mom past away today, and I am so depressed right now...I feel like I murdered her by not giving her the feeding tube. Again, thanks for not ripping my head off too bad and next time I'll think about a martini instead.
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Don't blame yourself. You made the best decision you felt you could. I wish you the best. Please feel free to write here and vent and cry and let it all out if that's what you need to to . There are a lot of ears here and we'll listen.
    God bless:angel2:
  12. by   JennieIrene
    Quote from pchez31
    an update...my mom past away today, and i am so depressed right now...i feel like i murdered her by not giving her the feeding tube.

    [font="tahoma"]hi,
    my name is jennie. i just read your post about your mother. i'm so sorry about your loss. :icon_hug: may i recommend two sites to you that i am joined to? they are absolutely wonderful and i know that they will help you out. check out their message boards. here are the two sites::

    http://www.geocites.com/adcfriends/

    and

    http://www.after-death.com/

    please check these out..

    also, 10 month ago i removed my mother from life-support. it was a difficult decision but it was out of love. i posted here at allnurses and got alot of wonderful responses---especially from timothy*. here is the link. ::

    http://allnurses.com/forums/f8/remov...d+life+support

    you did the right thing. trust me, okay? i realize you don't know me, but trust me and believe me when i say **you did the right thing**

    christmas will be difficult. but please take it easy and slow. you are absolutely entitled to your feelings, so please don't try to hide them or cover them up or act like your okay. you will get through this, honey. i promise you.

    your dear momma* is so so happy right now. she's never felt better and she's full of joy and light. i promise you this.

    i will live you with a poem that i think is so wonderful: it is called "all is well"

    all is well

    death is nothing at all,
    i have only slipped into the next room
    i am i and you are you
    whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
    call me by my old familiar name,
    speak to me in the easy way which you always used
    put no difference in your tone,
    wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
    laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
    play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
    let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
    let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
    life means all that it ever meant.
    it it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
    why should i be out of mind because i am out of sight?
    i am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
    just around the corner.
    all is well.


    also::

    you can shed tears that he is gone,
    or you can smile because he lived,
    you can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
    or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

    your heart can be empty because you can't see him
    or you can be full of the love that you shared,
    you can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
    or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

    you can remember him and only that he is gone
    or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
    you can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back,
    or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.



    she is only gone from you sight....she is still with you.

    my prayers are with you.
    and please check out those two sites i told you about--they are wonderful.

    love to you.:angel2:
    love,
    jennie
  13. by   JennieIrene
    hi again,
    may i also recommend a wonderful book to you that i think will really really help you?
    its by :: betty j. eadie and its called *embraced by the light* wonderful book. if your interested in buying it online they are selling it for 1 cent at amazon.com. or they have it at all book stores.

    love to you.
    love,
    jennie
  14. by   Pchez31
    Again, thank you all for the support!! It isn't going to be an easy time for me right now but I know my mother is somewhere watching over me and my family. As far as the "pot" thing, I did talk to the director and she said that if it comes back dirty, they will do another test as a benifit of the doubt sort of thing and she said we will talk about then. So, I am praying that everything goes right...I haven't smoked any and I'm not going to...I never want this to be something that could destroy my dreams again. I am certainly thinking about counseling because I realize I don't know the right ways to deal with things. Jennie, I really enjoyed that poem and I am thinking about reading at my mom's memorial service. I really do appreciate everyones support here.

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