I just don't know anymore.....

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Specializes in Onc/Hem, School/Community.

I am a junior in a BSN program - semester two of five until graduation. Believe it or not, as close as I am to graduation, I am falling apart. November 2006, my mother died of breast cancer, then 7 months later, my husband was diagnosed with stage IIIB colon cancer. I dealt with my personal stressors and made it through the first semester unscathed. For some reason, this semester has put me back on the path of grief and dispair. I am assuming it is because the work load and the amount of information seems to have doubled. I don't know. My mother was one of my biggest fans, along with my husband. My mother died and now my husband is concentrating on his health and isn't really "there" for me anymore. There have been a few occassions when I needed to miss a lecture to help him after chemotherapy. Fortunately, I have helpful classmates.

I should have delayed school for a year after my husband was diagnosed (one week before school started); however, he made me promise not to quit. I feel lonely, sad, tired, and burnt out at the age of 41 and I haven't even started working yet.

I'm sorry this sounds so depressing - I'm really not a loser......just bummed out after a weekend of studying for two tests coming up this week, watching my husband throw up, helping my teenage daughter who is on crutches d/t an ankle injury, and caring for my tween son who has a nasty URI going on. :bugeyes:

Thanks for the vent.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. I also had a difficult time during second semester, but nothing like what you are going through. I have no advice for you (and it doesn't look like you're seeking advice), but I can tell you that even though it seems like the road is long, I am reporting from fifth semester that it's a lot shorter than it seems. It is do-able.

Good luck to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med/Surg, Tele, IM, OB/GYN, neuro, GI.

Have you talked to anyone about this? Some schools offer counseling. Your going through a hard time right now but the kids will get better and that will take some of the presure off. Your health is important and being stressed isn't going to make you feel any better. Perhaps you could talk with your nursing program and see if they will allow you to take a leave of absence for this semester due to your situation.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Utilization Management.

:icon_hug: No advice, Kim, just a big long-distance hug.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, SDU, OR, RR, Ortho, Hospice RN.

Kim you started getting this out by venting in your post and that HAS to be a good thing.

Hugs to you for the stressors in your life and the loss of your dear Mum.

Hang in there and do the best you can.

Grief hits us when we least expect us but please do not be too hard on yourself.

We are all here for you my friend.

I pray for you, your hubby and child that good things are on the horizon for you all.

You are tougher than you realize that is for sure.

I wish you sunshine and smiles today.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Kim, it may be tough NOW, but it won't always be. Hang in there. You will make it. icon_hug.gif icon_hug.gif

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment