I feel like I'm trying to be something I'm not

  1. So I got accepted into a nursing program for Fall 2008, and I went throughout the whole first semester until the final, but then I found out that I had failed the first semester..and currently I am just working as a CNA, and I'm not even sure if I want to continue with nursing, try LPN, apply to other schools for RN, or start a different career as a social worker, medical lab tech, or maybe something in business.

    When I was in school, I was working 3 eight hour shifts each week on the weekend, and really I always felt that I had no time back then. I felt that I had no time to breathe, no time to eat or excercise, or sleep. And no time to study because when I looked at the list of studying I had to do...there was always more. I didn't know how to study, what to study. I ended up buying so many extra books...

    Also it seemed like almost all the other students had really supportive families, with my family, when I come home, we argue, they aren't supportive.

    I have never really been one of those people that are the best at anything, I don't even know if I am like other people in my class. They are very eloquent and smart, and very able to handle the stress that nursing comes.

    Also when I started school, I started having panic attacks and they haven't gone away since I stopped going in December. In fact they are getting worse.

    So anyway...what is your opinions on this? i feel like if I become a nurse, or try, I will have that feeling of "I HAVE NO TIME"...all the time even after I graduate.

    I think its just time for me to just sell my nursing books on ebay and move on, but really that is depressing too.
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    About naide88

    Joined: May '08; Posts: 79; Likes: 22


  3. by   Coriander
    Ok... take a deep breath. You tried your best, right? It's hard as heck to work and go to school at the same time. I had to quit my job because it was taking too much of my time, and although I am a fulltime student, I'm not in nursing school yet! It's HARD to work and go to school!!!

    I do understand the anxiety that "Oh my gosh I have no TIME for anything!" brings about. I have had the occasional panic attack as well (used to have them every day a few years back). Is there anyone you can talk to about this? I'm sorry that your family isn't supportive. That's so sad. You are working in a really selfless career, and I think that shows your heart and your determination to help people.

    Is there any way you can try again if you wanted to? From what I hear from nurses around here, yes they still are very busy, but there isn't the stress of exams and pages of reading every night. Nursing school tends to have the ability to weed out the people that aren't meant to work in the field (again, from what I'm told).

    If you want to give it another shot, go for it! There's nothing wrong with taking a break and figuring out what you want to do. I took a 15 year break from college myself :icon_roll

    Please keep us informed and feel free to vent all you need to. This board seems filled with down-to-earth people that are wonderfully willing to help.

    Big hugs.
  4. by   cursedandblessed
    you seem really sad right now. why do you want to be a nurse?? is it for the $$ or did you think you could make a difference??

    just because people appear to have it all together, doesn't mean they do. everyone responds to stress differently, and sometimes you have to slow down and do something for yourself.

    have you looked at the nurses in the hospitals who really care about their patients?? they are regular people, some of them fought their way kicking and screaming to get through nursing school. how many credit hours were you pulling??

    have you spoken with the guidance office at your school? sometimes they can help you with deciding on career decisions.
  5. by   naide88
    I want to be a nurse because it opens so many different doors to helping other people...

    Especially the counseling part.

    I had school Monday to thursday, 5 hours on Monday, about 4 hours on Thursday, 8 hour clinical on tuesday, and then 3 hours on Wednesday. I think I was taking 11 credits but it could have been more, they were all nursing classes since I took all other non-nursing classes before I got into the program..
  6. by   ChristineN
    I can relate to the not having any time when in nursing school. It does get better. When I was in nursing school I worked full-time (Thurs-Sun 2nd/3rd shift) and when to school five days a week. I worked approximately 36hrs a week and I was in school approximately 30some hours a week too. I was absolutely exhausted, and by my second year, almost burnt out. But you know what, it was all worth it. Once I became a nurse and started working 3 12's a week I felt so "bored." I didn't know what to do with myself.

    Hang in there.
  7. by   cursedandblessed
    i know what you mean about time. my last few weeks have been about 2 1/2 hours class mwf, preplanning mw + the two hours i spend driving to and from timbucktoo hospital. 9 hour clinicals tt + the two hours i spend driving to timbucktoo hospital.

    if your main goal is counseling, there are other options than nursing, but only you can decide what's best for you. why don't you look into all of your options??

    for me i either want nursing, or middle school teaching. i really want nursing. if i fail clinical this time, i think i will repeat the class and not give up on it. i want to be able to work the homeless and migrants as a volunteer to make a difference in their lives.
  8. by   tfleuter
    I'm sorry you'll feeling so down. I bet not having a good support system has made things very difficult. I wonder if this isn't so much of an issue of "should I be a nurse" as "I'm not able to handle the stress in my life right now." Working and going to school full time is going to keep you busy, no matter what degree you pursue.
  9. by   Irene joy
    Hi there, I am a mentor for first quarter students and I understand what you're going through. First of all, you will set your self up for failure if you attempt to work full time and be in the nursing program. There are very few who can do that and they don't usually have kids and they have to be incredibly focused and able to handle stress and juggling well. Give your self a break, and understand that first quarter is a HUGE adjustment and is hard for many people. Mabey not scholastically, but the amount of things to do in a short amount of time can be overwhelming. I promise it get's better as you become more organized and fall into a better routine. I always say, this isn't just school, it's a lifestyle. You will get used to not having any time to yourself, and as you get farther and farther along you will start to feel like a real nurse and it really gets fun. Hard work, but very rewarding. Please don't give up on your dream! You will continue to age and you can be closer to your goal or you'lle be in the same place you are now. Most schools will let you re-enter the next class and pick up where you left off. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! If you want this bad enough, you wil FIGHT for it! Good luck!