How Do You Know When Classmates are Taking Advantage? (Long)

  1. I'm in an uncomfortable situation with a couple of classmates who sit next me. I tape the lectures and spend many hours transcribing them, mostly because the teacher adds much more material than what's in the textbook. It's a major pain, but it's a tremendous help when test time comes around.

    One of them asked me for the transcripts when she had to miss class because, she said, her son was in the hospital. I figured, ok, that's an emergency, so I gave them to her.

    Since then, she's either missed other classes or showed up and left early, missing lecture. She said she did miss one class because her son was in the hospital again, but I don't know why she left early during the last class. It kinda makes me suspicious about the hospital story, and whether she really needed to miss class or not.

    Similar problem with the other classmate. She begged me not to speak up and argue against delaying a test because she needed more study time. So I didn't. Then she doesn't show up for the test. I know she's going to ask for the lecture transcripts, since the teacher lectured on a bunch of material afterward, but I'm kinda peeved that I helped her out with the test situation, only for her to miss it anyway.

    I'm pretty sure one, if not both of them are going to ask for my lecture transcripts this week since they've missed so much material. And I'm sure I'll hear the usual excuses, but I'm not sure I believe them anymore.

    I like to help people out, because I may have to miss class at some point. But I can't help but wonder if they're taking advantage of the situation. Do I help them or not? If not, do I lie and say the tapes got erased, the tape recorder broke, or something? I do have to work with these people on group assignments, etc. so it could become an uncomfortable situation. And I'm not a great liar.

    What would you do? :uhoh21:
    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 4, '04
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  2. 49 Comments

  3. by   Brickman
    All of the taping and transcribing is work that you are doing for yourself. I don't see how it would be any more trouble for you to give copies of the transcript file to other people who might need it. It really isn't any extra work for you. While you are in no way obligated to do this, I think you will find that helping people is all the reward you need. It is your choice whether you are known as the person who helps or the person who doesn't.
  4. by   Kudra
    well, the fact that you even feel like they may be taking advantage of you probably means that they are...

    early in my course i was branded as one of the "smart ones" in my class because a few people found out my test scores... and while it didn't affect me for the most part (except a few snide remarks here and there), i did notice that whenever group project time came around, i suddenly had a lot more "friends"...

    personally, i would take a very assertive approach to dealing with this situation... i have no problems lending a person notes once or twice... but anything more than that, i think they're overstepping the limits... i would simply say, "i'm sorry you're having such a hard go of it, but i don't feel comfortable lending my notes out"... i don't think lying is the correct approach, simply because it's too easy to get caught up in a lie...

    in all honesty, i would probably stop lending notes to anyone period... if you don't do it, then you won't have a problem... it might not make you the most popular person in the class, but it will definitely solve the problem...

    beth
  5. by   orrnlori
    Quote from Brickman
    All of the taping and transcribing is work that you are doing for yourself. I don't see how it would be any more trouble for you to give copies of the transcript file to other people who might need it. It really isn't any extra work for you. While you are in no way obligated to do this, I think you will find that helping people is all the reward you need. It is your choice whether you are known as the person who helps or the person who doesn't.
    I disagree. These are the same people who will fritter away their shifts then ask you for help to get them caught up before the next shift comes in. When you go to school, you're suppose to be a big girl/guy and make it to class. It's not the OP's job to take notes for the one who won't show and won't put in the time. Helping people is fine, but doing their work for them is not. I always shared my notes with those who needed them, but there were always some that basically got by because they latched onto ones who did the work. If this continues, I quit giving out the notes. I guess I'm just a big meany.
  6. by   Sheri257
    Quote from Brickman
    All of the taping and transcribing is work that you are doing for yourself. I don't see how it would be any more trouble for you to give copies of the transcript file to other people who might need it. It really isn't any extra work for you. While you are in no way obligated to do this, I think you will find that helping people is all the reward you need. It is your choice whether you are known as the person who helps or the person who doesn't.
    True. But what if they're skipping class because they figure they can get the transcripts from me? Is it right for them to benefit from my work that they haven't done themselves? That's what's bothering me.

  7. by   Sheri257
    Quote from Kudra
    in all honesty, i would probably stop lending notes to anyone period... if you don't do it, then you won't have a problem... it might not make you the most popular person in the class, but it will definitely solve the problem...

    beth
    Actually, I agree. I've never done this before. But when someone tells you their kid is in the hospital, you feel bad and want to help. But now I'm regretting it because word got around about me helping with the transcripts. No good deed goes unpunished I guess. *Sigh*

    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 4, '04
  8. by   Kudra
    Quote from lizz
    No good deed goes unpunished I guess.
    lol, that's because there's always someone trying to take advantage of other people's kindess...

    beth
  9. by   Dixen81
    Quote from Brickman
    All of the taping and transcribing is work that you are doing for yourself. I don't see how it would be any more trouble for you to give copies of the transcript file to other people who might need it. It really isn't any extra work for you. While you are in no way obligated to do this, I think you will find that helping people is all the reward you need. It is your choice whether you are known as the person who helps or the person who doesn't.
    I completely disagree here. It clearly sounds to me like you are being taken advantage of. I wouldn't lie, either, if I were you, but I would make it clear that you're not going to share notes/transcripts anymore. Just be up-front and tell them that they can no longer depend on you for transcripts. Sure, like the other poster said, you may not be popular with them anymore, but do you really care? Doesn't sound like anyone I would care about what they thought of me.
    If others want the grade, they ought to be willing to show up for lecture and do the work.
    Good luck!
  10. by   Sheri257
    Quote from Dixen81
    Sure, like the other poster said, you may not be popular with them anymore, but do you really care? Doesn't sound like anyone I would care about what they thought of me. If others want the grade, they ought to be willing to show up for lecture and do the work.
    Good luck!
    I'm usually pretty unpopular anyway because I get good grades.

    My only concern is that I have to work with these people on group assignments. But after reading some of the responses here, I realize I'm probably worrying too much.

    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 4, '04
  11. by   Dixen81
    So you have to work with them on group assignments...all the more reason you ought to nip their "freeloading" in the bud, or they will be expecting you to do all of the work for the group.
  12. by   Sheri257
    Quote from Dixen81
    So you have to work with them on group assignments...all the more reason you ought to nip their "freeloading" in the bud, or they will be expecting you to do all of the work for the group.
    Good point. I kinda liked these girls and they hadn't missed class before all of this happened. So I really didn't expect this to become a problem.

    Anyway, thanks for all of the input. It's really helped. I'll just be honest and nip it in the bud, so to speak.

    :spin:
    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 4, '04
  13. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I'm all for helping those that help themselves, but i draw the line when people want stuff handed to them.

    I pay my tuition for ME to learn, not to pull the weight for other people. (and we DID have a few, strangly enough, they would up flunking back in December)


    I'm not working my *** off for someone to get the notes/transcripts/etc. without showing up for class.

    People will take advantage of you as long as they think they can get away with it. A lot depend on someone not having the BBs to say no.

    A simple "i'm not comfortable with doing that" should answer their request. I'm saying that's how i'd answer them, though.
  14. by   Sheri257
    Quote from LPN2Be2004
    A simple "i'm not comfortable with doing that" should answer their request. I'm saying that's how i'd answer them, though.
    So, what would you tell them?

    Or, I could tell them the transcripts are available for a fee. Afterall, it does take several hours to transcribe those tapes.

    Hmmmm ... how much should I charge?

    Just kidding!
    Last edit by Sheri257 on Apr 4, '04

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