Ex boyfriend is spreading rumors of drug use about me HELP

  1. 0 I made a bad choice chose a crazy bf and now he claims hes met with a hospital and will be having a meeting with my school tomorrow,. hes told them I use marijuana which I DONT, help what can I do to stop this and protect my reputation? and what can he do , he said he'll make sure I never become a nurse, what will my school do ? Im in my last 3months help please Im really stressing out I know hes serious and will be following through this is not an empty threat I know that much
  2. Visit  vsell220 profile page

    About vsell220

    Joined Oct '13; Posts: 6.

    14 Comments so far...

  3. Visit  OrganizedChaos profile page
    1
    That's terrible, is there any way you can meet with your teachers before he does & just warn them? Be calm about it. Tell them you had a bad break up & that he is trying to ruin your reputation. As long as you can pee clean if they make you, you're good. Even send them an e-mail & try to head him off.

    I wouldn't worry about him going to the hospital & telling anyone. Does he have any connections there? It's not like he can walk in & talk to anyone. They will probably disregard his e-mail, they have more important things to do. Just stay calm & don't let him get to you because then he wins.
    Last edit by OrganizedChaos on Oct 20, '13
    vsell220 likes this.
  4. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    1
    Quote from vsell220
    I made a bad choice chose a crazy bf and now he claims hes met with a hospital and will be having a meeting with my school tomorrow,. hes told them I use marijuana which I DONT, help what can I do to stop this and protect my reputation? and what can he do , he said he'll make sure I never become a nurse, what will my school do ? Im in my last 3months help please Im really stressing out I know hes serious and will be following through this is not an empty threat I know that much
    Do you have an advisor at school? Or a professor/instructor you can confide in?
    Do you have student professional liability insurance? If so call your carrier for advice on how to protect yourself against a potential defamation of character. If you do not use illegal drugs that will be easy enough to prove should your school feel the need to investigate the bogus allegations

    Perhaps consult a women's shelter as this is may be considered emotional abuse in your state. They may be able to offer support and information how to protect yourself. They can assist as even though physical abuse causes physical injuries, emotional abuse can cause just as devastating injuries


    Good luck. (Sorry for format, typing on phone)
    amoLucia likes this.
  5. Visit  vsell220 profile page
    0
    ya thanks, Ill go in monday morning before he does and talk to them, maybe take the UA in the morning too?
  6. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    1
    Why volunteer for a test that costs $$? The school may not need such testing. They may feel it is a false, vindictive accusation and be on your side especially if you have established a good reputation at school already.
    SoldierNurse22 likes this.
  7. Visit  Lilredhen1 profile page
    0
    It concerns me that you don't mention him as a crazy EX-bf. Please tell me that you are no longer an item after this.

    Peeing clean is the most important part. Offer to submit to a hair test if you like. Seek some kind of protection order against this fellow.

    Your guilt will have to be proven to have you dismissed from school. With that said, it may be difficult to maintain suitable employment later is you have excessive drama going on in your life.
  8. Visit  vsell220 profile page
    0
    Hes an EX not boyfriend, and I want to volunteer for test to prove my innocence, I assume thats what theyll ask for first things any way, Id think I had a good reputation just for making it this far


    If I pee clean that should be the end of this whole thing right???
  9. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    0
    Not necessarily if he is persistent and vindictive. You may need assistance to protect yourself and reputation. The school may not ask for the proof if it is an empty accusation and there is no corroborating evidence (you behavior, actions etc ). If they do ask for testing it will likely be at your expense. Why not explain and wait and see what the school administration says. You can check your student handbook for policies for accusations of possible drug use.
  10. Visit  vsell220 profile page
    0
    what kind of 'protection'? liability insurance or ??? sorry so many questions Im just at a loss about my situation ... and would me talking to my school before him look like an admission of guilt? Wouldnt being surprised by it look better ?
  11. Visit  sharpeimom profile page
    2
    OP, has this jerk threatened you in any way or is threatening to tell your program that you use drugs? If he has threatened you (even indirectly) please file a police report. There won't be anything they can do, but the report will be a matter of record if he does hurt you in he future. That you've filed the report (if he has threatened you with any type of physical violence or been violent) will insure that the police will move just a little bit faster if you do have to call them at some point in the future.

    I just asked my college professor husband if he agreed with me or for any other ideas. He said that your school would look at the whole you and not just at some "lame brained email/phone call from a crackpot." He wondered whether you had now or have had during another semester, an instructor or a professor whom you felt comfortable enough with that you could explain what's been going on. That could be someone who gave you a good grade, someone who has been kind to you, or simply someone you feel comfortable with.

    Good luck!
    GrnTea and SoldierNurse22 like this.
  12. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    0
    Most schools require students to carry a student malpractice/liability insurance policy while working in clinical rotations. There are many benefits to this coverage including protecting your professional reputation from false accusations of illegal activity or malpractice. If you have such a policy, a call to your carrier to advise them of the potential claims of your ex-bf is proactive and they can advise you on what to do to protect your reputation and potential license as a nursing professional.

    In my opinion if you approach your school and explain that your ex contacted you that he plans on making accusations of drug use/abuse to "prevent you from ever becoming a nurse" and wanted to know how to handle it you would look proactive not guilty. (Assuming all of his claims are false/ vindictive without a shred of truth)

    Protection of your professional, educational and personal reputation. Each is very valuable. Clearly your ex-bf is aware of the value hence his threats.
  13. Visit  vsell220 profile page
    0
    what kind of 'protection'? liability insurance or ??? sorry so many questions Im just at a loss about my situation ... and would me talking to my school before him look like an admission of guilt? Wouldnt being surprised by it look better ? And Ive struggled grade wise last quarter, and I cant call anyone untill tomorrow myself, its sunday : (
  14. Visit  JustBeachyNurse profile page
    0
    Quote from vsell220
    what kind of 'protection'? liability insurance or ??? sorry so many questions Im just at a loss about my situation ... and would me talking to my school before him look like an admission of guilt? Wouldnt being surprised by it look better ? And Ive struggled grade wise last quarter, and I cant call anyone untill tomorrow myself, its sunday : (
    See my reply above.


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