Etiquette regarding asking for letters of reference

Nursing Students General Students

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Specializes in Neuro, Trauma, and Psych.

I am currently in a Med-Surg clinical rotation at a local hospital and I have been fortunate to have worked with a particular nurse that has taught me so much. She has done an excellent job of taking her time to show me things and teach, even though she is very busy doing her daily tasks. She has been fabulous, but my rotation ends in a couple of weeks. I would like to ask her for a reference for future employment, but I'm not sure how.

What is the proper etiquette for asking for a reference? Should I get her a card and a small inexpensive gift? Just a thank you note?

Thoughts, opinions, experience welcomed! :)

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

I would think you would wait to ask until you actually needed the letter of reference -- that's what folks usually do when they ask ME!

When you do ask, refresh her memory about who you are and what your strengths are. It helps to write a letter telling her where you are applying, their preferred method for submission of the letter of reference, your goals and your greatest strengths. I've written a lot of letters of reference, but the most effective ones I've written were the ones where I had the above for reference.

I would ask, before concluding the rotation, whether she would be willing to serve as a reference in the future and, if so, how she would like you to contact her. I would do that before giving her any kind of thank-you card or gift (you don't want it to look like you are expecting this of her because you gave her something). Best wishes!

Specializes in Neuro, Trauma, and Psych.

Thank you both for your replies! Ruby Vee you definitely gave me some things to think about that I would have never considered. I need to think about what my strengths are in the clinical setting. @elkpark you hit the nail on the head! I know I want to give a thank you card or something nice because I truly appreciate the time the nurse has taken with me, yet I do not want it to be considered a bribe or sucking up. Great responses! Thanks!

Specializes in Emergency, Telemetry, Transplant.

I agree that you should not give the person a "gift" and then turn right around and say "oh, by the way, can give write a letter of recommendation for me?" I also think that you should lay the groundwork before you leave that clinical site...approach that nurse at good time (i.e. not while she's at lunch or in the middle of catching up on her charting). Tell her how much you've learned from her (don't slather it on too deep though!) and that you were hoping she could write a recommendation for you at some point in the future. I know, personally, I would be flattered if someone thought enough of me to ask me for a letter of rec., but try and read her response. Try and give her a time frame and then ask how to contact her. Unless she is the preceptor for you independent study (or capstone, or whatever you call it at your school), I would stay away from any gift until after she writes the letter and (hopefully) you get the job...even then, a "thank you" note is more than enough IMHO!

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