Dealing with "haters"...

Nursing Students General Students

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Hi everyone! I have a bit of a story...

I went to a family BBQ today to celebrate the 4th, and my cousin decided to take the liberty upon herself to tell me that she doesn't think I'm capable of completing nursing school, that it's too hard for me, and that I should consider other options. This happened out of nowhere. My uncle asked how I was doing in school, and she just jumped in with her negativity.

I have my days where I really doubt myself, I think things like "Will I be a good nurse?" "Do I have what it takes?" but at the end of the day, I am sure of what I want to do. For me, nursing is my calling, not just a career I picked out of a hat. I would be lying if I said I was not extremely hurt and offended by what she said today. The most bizarre part of all of this is that we aren't close, and we never speak about my academics or school, in fact, we don't really talk much at all. Her comment was truly out of left field.

The point of my post is, has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the haters and the naysayers?

Have you ever heard the common phrase about nurses that they "eat their young"? Being a typically all-female career path, we already know that we're competitive and harsh at times, and even when you think you made "friends," many times it's all just a ploy to "keep your enemies closer." The thing is, even if your cousin isn't a nurse as well, she's still a female, and we are often jealous of each other. The difference between men and women in that case is that women will think about an emotion until it just bursts out, even if we end up hurting someone we shouldn't, including our own family.

To deal with this, the best thing to do is just ignore the comments, however hurtful they are. Think about it like this: you're getting a good taste of what it's actually like to BE a nurse. You'll be getting these comments and snarky remarks from fellow nurses, even worse than anyone else. If you can handle it and not succumb to their drama, you're already ahead of the game and you'll become an excellent nurse who is looked at by management as someone worthy of success.

As for doubting yourself, don't let any other person, nurse or not, cause you to think you can or can't be a good nurse. Let your success in school, your hard work, and your excellent grades, as well as your confidence in clinicals, be the deciding factor in that. If you are doing well in clinical practice, and you can perform your skills confidently and competently, there isn't another person who should be allowed to decide whether you should be a nurse or not. That comes from you, and only YOU can decide if it is or isn't right. Good luck; I'm sure you'll be great!

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I'd make sure to send her a graduation announcement.... lol

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

ignore idiots. They are a waste of time

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My fiancee's sister lives 100 yards from my house and she has been a THORN in my side!! She has always resented me and I have always tried to be kind to her -except I have lost it with her a few times...lol

Anyways, I have realized that people like this don't actually think they are better than you...deep down they feel less than (for whatever reason) and they want to try to pull you down below the level that they feel they are at. I am learning to completely ignore her negative behavior. She feeds on any static between my fiancee and me. For this reason, I even urge him not to say anything to his sister anymore when she is talking negatively about me. This disarms her and she has no "ammo." I just hope that she can one day realize she is just as important as the rest of us.

Don't sweat it...just feel sorry for people like that and hold your head up and stay laser focused on your goals. You will do great!

BTW: I had been on the alternate list for the RN program at my school and I JUST FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I'M IN THE PROGRAM!!!! :D I wish you all the best in your journey....

That is fantastic! Congrats!!!! :) and thank you, honestly it may sound silly but if it weren't for this forum I would be so much more upset than I am!

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Have you ever heard the common phrase about nurses that they "eat their young"? Being a typically all-female career path, we already know that we're competitive and harsh at times, and even when you think you made "friends," many times it's all just a ploy to "keep your enemies closer." The thing is, even if your cousin isn't a nurse as well, she's still a female, and we are often jealous of each other. The difference between men and women in that case is that women will think about an emotion until it just bursts out, even if we end up hurting someone we shouldn't, including our own family.

To deal with this, the best thing to do is just ignore the comments, however hurtful they are. Think about it like this: you're getting a good taste of what it's actually like to BE a nurse. You'll be getting these comments and snarky remarks from fellow nurses, even worse than anyone else. If you can handle it and not succumb to their drama, you're already ahead of the game and you'll become an excellent nurse who is looked at by management as someone worthy of success.

As for doubting yourself, don't let any other person, nurse or not, cause you to think you can or can't be a good nurse. Let your success in school, your hard work, and your excellent grades, as well as your confidence in clinicals, be the deciding factor in that. If you are doing well in clinical practice, and you can perform your skills confidently and competently, there isn't another person who should be allowed to decide whether you should be a nurse or not. That comes from you, and only YOU can decide if it is or isn't right. Good luck; I'm sure you'll be great!

Great points! Thanks so much for your advice. I try to take certain situations and sort of compare them to what I'll have to deal with as a nurse, and you are absolutely right this is one of them.

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Specializes in Addiction.

Just prove her wrong! That is all what needs to happen! Believe in yourself and best of luck!!!!

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Specializes in ER, ICU, Education.

Next time, tell her "thank you." My biggest critics have given me incentive to excel. It is also fun to watch the reaction when mean people aren't rewarded by gaining the ability to upset others. Also, don't forget to toast her at your graduation!

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ignore idiots. They are a waste of time

heheh YES. THIS.

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The point of my post is, has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the haters and the naysayers?

I proved them wrong. Funny how people doubting me and/or my abilities is a driving force for me to prove them wrong.

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