Hey Im currently a level 2 nursing student im 23 graduating in December 2018 and I have never felt more alone. I'm a single mom of a beautiful 2 y/o girl, and have to live with my mom and my grandmother. I cannot afford daycare so I get out of school come home care for my daughter and study. My mom has health problems but shes able to watch for her and care for her (RA, HTN, osteoarthritis, psoriasis, ). So mom always rants about her health but never does anything and i have to manage her meds bc she tends to under/overtake them. Also im constantly reminding her to drink water, wear her back brace, take her sleeping meds. She sleep walks and I'm having to put her back to bed (shes 57). I love my mom but i have the Caregiver role strain we read about a lot. I have a hard time not snapping at her a lot because I'm stressed enough as it is.
Plus when I'm studying my daughter gets bored fusses, throws fits, brings me toys while im on the computer doing paperwork, takes my hands off the keyboard ect.
Im on anti anxiety meds, and sleeping meds because i suffer from recurring nightmares. I exercise in the mornings to help try to expel frustration but that just makes me more tired during class. I cry at least once a week in a professors class about getting so overwhelmed and feeling stupid when i study so hard but can scrape by with an 80. I suck at tests especially nursing tests. (I absolutely HATE HATE HATE
sitting down for hours studying it is the worst. I would rather go to clinical and be on my feet than sit all the time. I get super antsy and frustrated and end up quitting)
Also another fun fact Ive lost so much hair everywhere...head, eyelashes, eyebrows. (I eat healthy, take collagen/multivitamins drink 2.5L of water a day) I get premature atrial contractions several times a month. Im super stressed, aggravated, frustrated, exhausted. Also im the only single mom in my class so I feel weird like a loner i guess, plus I get bullied by 2 girls for god knows what.
Basically I'm reaching out to see that I'm not alone feeling like the world isn't this small tiny box of torture that I'm only in
. If anyone has any suggestions or recommendations I will gladly hear, plus i need to see that these feelings are normal that im not just going crazy by myself.
FYI I absolutely love clinicals and being a nurse its so awesome but the school is slowly killing me inside.